My wife and I were discussing regret and repentance. Certainly, we all have done things in life that we wish we had not done—and things we should have done. Unfortunately, we cannot undo what is done. Thus, we live with our actions and/or inactions.
I have come to a point in life where I don’t have any regrets. No denial here, and by no means am I free of mistakes and bad decisions. I regret nothing, however.
The word, “regret”, has its origin in the Old French and Middle English words for ‘to bemoan the dead’. In other words, it represents an act of mourning for something that cannot be changed. Dead, after all, is dead. It has occurred to me that regret is not an action, it is a reaction. When we make a mistake, or do something “regrettable”, we have a choice. We can continue to relive the mistake—to bemoan the dead—or we can move forward and grow. The latter is repentance. Regret is reliving the past over and over. It has no benefit. Repentance is change. It is growth.
Regret is to hope, in vain, for a do-over–a “Mulligan”–that can never happen. Regret is not emotionally “well-centered”. Regret stagnates growth and holds us forever in the pool of our own tears and self-loathing. In many cases, regret only occurs when we get caught in our regrettable act. We often regret getting caught in our action or being found out as the source of ones hurt. Regret is many things, but it is not repentance.
I am thinking about a lot of things as I enter into my 55th year. All things positive. I have no room for regrets as I move forward. Yes, I am sorry for things done and undone in the past, but these are in the past. The parties affected have long since moved on. Decisions—good or bad—have led me to where I am and the path I am taking. I dare not change a thing. I just hope to not repeat that mistakes of the past. I want to be my best today and be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!
“Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”—Marilyn Monroe
Image: https://www.go-oregon.com/OR-Arch-Cape-Sunset/