Why do I write this blog? Primarily, it is because I need it. I write to myself more than anyone. It is my self-talk. If I write it down for others to see, I have to do it. Otherwise, I am a hypocrite, right? I am a believer in practicing what you teach.
As a college professor in exercise science, I have no credibility if my students can say: “Dude, do you even workout?” Likewise, I want to be “well-centered”, so, the more I talk about it, the more I have to practice it. And, believe me, I am a long way from mastery. But, I am trying.
I think of the scene in the classic, What About Bob?, when Bob tells Dr. Leo Marvin: “If I fake it, I don’t got it.” On the contrary, if I fake Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social wellness, eventually I will have it. At least that is the plan. Remember, attitude shapes attitude. If I live well-centered, I will become well-centered.
Writing it down, whether journaling or blogging, I reinforce the mindset I want to have. If I remind myself (and others) that “I am third”, I am forced to live as such. If I teach the benefits of exercise, I’d better be exercising. Likewise, I have to model the activities that will move me toward well-centeredness.
It isn’t easy. If it were, our society would be so much better off. I wish I could say it comes easy to me. It doesn’t. (Just act my wife.) Still, if I am writing this stuff on a regular basis, I can’t allow myself to fall off track for very long. Otherwise, people will quickly figure out that I am full of you-know-what. Over time, I have seen some positive growth.
Change does not come in an instant. It takes time. It is progressive and often involves minor setbacks. But, if change is desired, fake it. Eventually, one will become what he/she affects to be.
This is the benefit of self-talk. It gradually serves to convince us we are what we want to become. Certainly, not in delusional way, but rather from our desire to be honest with ourselves and others. To be effective, though, self-talk needs to be public. In other words, there needs to be accountability.
I can look in the mirror like Stuart Smalley and tell myself: “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And, doggone it, people like me.” But this only makes me feel better. If I say instead, “People need to be good to one another. People need to be well-read. People need to be likeable. Etc.”, then doggone it, I’d better be good to others, be well-read, be likeable, etc.! “Fake it ‘til you make it” (sort of).
Determine what (or who) you want to be and start pursuing it. Don’t just say it. Do it! Don’t lie to yourself (and others) and say you are something you are not. Be accountable. Live the qualities you want in life. Model these qualities for others and you have no choice but to become who you aspire to become.
Here I go talking to myself again….
Carpe momento!