“You have to be a man off the mat before you can become a man on the mat”—Andy Lausier
Today is the final day of the NCAA Wrestling Championships. Dreams will be fulfilled for some. For others, there will be disappointment. Sports, in general, reveal the character in athletes. Wrestling, for me—like many other men and women—has taught me life lessons that continue to reveal themselves.
Today also marks the end of a challenge I was given to post on this blog every day through the wrestling season. The challenge ends, but the desire is stronger to keep writing. Writing is, after all, self-serving. What I write comes from an inner voice and the voices of those who inspire and influence me to be a better person. I write first to myself.
I asked Andy for the final quote for the short series of posts leading up to this day. A specific wrestling quote did not come to mind, but he shared the above phrase that he has developed in his own coaching and wrestling. I thought it quite appropriate according to my intent. For my friends like Sally Roberts and other females who have made their mark on the world through women’s wrestling and sports, I am sure it is obvious that “man” and “woman” are interchangeable. Indeed, one must be a man or woman of character before he or she can become a successful man or woman in any area of life. Wrestling just seems to be such a natural analogy for life.
It reminded me of Joe Ehrmann’s philosophy of “transformational” coaching and teaching his athletes to be men “for others”. In whatever one does, it is essential to first be a person of character and integrity. In whatever one does, personal growth must be the priority. We must seek victory and success, not for personal glory, but for the betterment of ourselves and others.
In sharing his statement with me, Andy also shared that “as I’ve spent 26 years of my life in the sport I realize why I didn’t accomplish my goals as a wrestler. It’s because I was only working to improve as a wrestler, not as a person. I think growth as an individual and growth as a wrestler parallel one another – but growth as a person has to come first. So many people don’t realize the lessons wrestling offers until they have finished competing. It’s only in retrospect that they see what they’ve gained from wrestling. As a coach, I try to bring those lessons to the present time for my athletes.” I believe he is succeeding in this—whether his athletes (or he) realize it in the moment.
I share often my son’s developing career in wrestling (as well as football and lacrosse). I have been most proud of those times when he has revealed growing character as an athlete. Pins, tackles, big runs, and defensive plays are great and exciting, but at the end of the day, he is preparing for manhood. Perhaps his coaches will be successful in developing him to the point that I save significantly on college expenses, but what is more important to me are the results that reveal themselves years from now—in how he treats others. I cannot sing the praises of his wrestling, football, and lacrosse coaches enough. A coach is not marked by the skills he/she teaches in practice. Rather, a coach is marked by the words that are said in practice. When a coach spends 10 or more minutes after practice addressing players individually for what they have done well and emphasizing such things as goals and discipline (on and off the mat/field) and the importance of relationships, that coach is a winner in my book. When the athletes heed the coaches’ lessons, they too are winners.
Let us seek first to be a man/woman off the mat, and the rest will follow. Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!