My son is a three-sport athlete—football, wrestling, and lacrosse. I make it no secret that I love these sports. Any sports participation is beneficial for a young boy or girl, but, as we transition to lacrosse season, I have been considering how beneficial it has been for him to be wrestling. Lacrosse and football are great. They have a tremendous social benefit, as well as a physical benefit. (I would suggest that athletics contribute significantly to one’s well-centeredness—Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social development.) Wrestling, though, is a bit different. I have often said that wrestling is unique in that there are three levels of competition: team v. team (in duals), individual v. individual, and wrestler v. him- or herself. The wrestler (at least at the older levels) must manage the diet to “make weight” and must also defeat the voices in the athlete’s head during both training and competition. “Can’t” gets you pinned.
The last match of the middle school season was on the high school varsity mat under a spotlight. I feared it might be intimidating for my 11-year-old. Instead, he dominated his match. For a somewhat shy, sometimes insecure, boy, this was a great boost to his confidence. Win or lose, the middle school boys and girls were learning that success or learning (there are no losers in wrestling) rested on their shoulders alone. There was no one to blame. No one to cover your mistakes. Only you and your opponent.
I enjoyed my son’s successes and “failures” this season. He went 12-4 in duals. His losses were learners. As I reflected on the season, I thought about how wrestling was him alone. He wrestled for a team, for sure, but it was his win or loss that counted. In football and lacrosse, he can make a mistake and it will go unnoticed, or he can do something great, but the credit is shared with the rest. He is beginning to emerge as a leader. He is also being seen as a wrestler. Personally, I am not sure that the two can be separated. In football and lacrosse, one will ask: “What position?” In wrestling, one might ask: “What weight class?”, but for the most part, one stands simply as a “wrestler”.
Individual sports teach a valuable set of lessons. They prepare us for life in ways team sports do not. Above all, individual sports teach responsibility. They teach the athlete to be accountable for his/her actions. There is no one at whom to point fingers. Yes, referees can make bad calls, but rarely does a single bad call make the difference in the match. And, when a bad call makes a difference, the athlete’s character is revealed (as was the case of one of our high school wrestlers who lost the state title on a questionable call in over-time). Herein is where the notion that, “in wrestling, there are only winners and learners” is played out. Our high schooler’s acceptance of his loss was exemplary. “He/She did…” carries no weight in individual sports. Nor does it carry any weight in life (as much as we wish it would).
We are responsible for our own success and failure. There is no one or nothing to blame. We own it. We choose our shots and our defensive tactics. We determine our actions and reactions. No one else. We need only be grateful for the opportunity to “compete”.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!