Social.
We cannot avoid interacting with others. Short of becoming a hermit or recluse—which is not suggested for anyone seeking “well-centered fitness”—we have to interact with others. Thus, our Social “infrastructure” is of interest. Most people with whom we interact will be chance encounters. Many will be those with whom we must interact because of work, living, or other circumstances. Some of these will be pleasant and well-received, others we might prefer to avoid. Over such relations, we have little-to-no control. Where we build a strong Social “infrastructure” is with the important (this is not to say that every interaction is inconsequential) relationships in our lives—family and close friends.
Jim Rohn has proposed that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” These, then, are the foundation of our Social “infrastructure”. These may include one’s significant other (which goes without saying—if it doesn’t, one needs to fix that), close friends, and/or family. In some situations, one might be challenged by the reality that work or other circumstances cause a portion of these five to be individuals who contribute less than favorably to the “average”. In such cases, one needs to seriously consider how to remove people such as these from the equations. In such cases, one needs to unweight the influence of these and add weight to the influence of others with whom significantly less time is spent. Personally, I think Jim Rohn’s point might be better made in saying that one is the average of the five people who are allowed the greatest influence in one’s life. Time spent together is not necessarily the greatest factor in influence. It does allow, however, for greater influence.
Take care with whom you spend time, and how your time together is spent. We build a certain sphere of influence, beginning with the most influential relationships and radiating out. We choose who we will allow to influence us.
Friends can be hard to find. This is particularly difficult when one moves to a new area. When good friends are found, however, such relationships should be nurtured and kept. Despite its flaws, social media can be useful in maintaining relationships despite distance. It is easier now to keep in close contact with friends as one moves around.
Social media also permits one to have “friendships” despite having never met the person. Such relationships should be strategic. That is, we want social media friends who add value to our lives. One should not “friend” someone simply to add numbers to their friends list. These should offer the opportunity for mutual impact and growth. As well, a level of investment should go into these like with any relationship.
Mentors and Mastermind groups offer another significant level of relationship in one’s strategic investment in Social “infrastructure”. While these tend to favor a professional over social relationship, they can be both and can certainly be influential. I would recommend that anyone dedicated to being “well-centered” consider identifying one or more mentorship relationships, as well as establishing at least one Mastermind group. Mastermind groups tend to be more mutual, while one tends to be more on the receiving end of a mentorship relationship. Nevertheless, there is value for all parties involved in successful relationships of this kind. These are always focused on growth and should align with one’s values and mission to be most effective.
Our approach to Social “infrastructure” must be strategic. The may sound as though I am asking the reader to use others for their personal benefit, but this is not exactly what I am proposing. Indeed, our relationships should benefit us, but not in a way that is one-sided. Rather, I am proposing that one seek relationships that are of mutual benefit. We cannot be strategic in our relationships without having a sense of what we value—what is of most importance to us. We must seek relationships that are consistent with our mission. We must be transformational rather than transactional. We must seek those who help us grow and desire the best for us. In turn, we must offer the same. Relationships should be relatively few and deep. As we move from our locus of closest relationships, we should nonetheless seek to maintain a level of depth to the relationship. Superficial relationships add little to the Social “infrastructure”.
In all relationships, carpe momento!