“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23, ISV)
Gentleness.
Gentleness is often considered unbecoming of a man (and, increasingly, women). Ashamedly, gentleness is something that I am finding I need to restore in myself. Over the years, I have let it be driven out of me. In so many relationships of my youth, I was told that I was “too gentle”. Instead of waiting for the woman who understood that gentleness is a characteristic of strength, I let women change me. Mistake.
Thankfully, I finally did meet the woman who would demand I cultivate my gentleness. Unfortunately, it is more difficult to re-cultivate what has been allowed to harden.
Gentleness is to be chivalrous, honorable, and free from harshness. By no means does it mean soft or weak. Gentleness is not an absence of physicality. (Jesus, for example, was far from timid and weak when he took on the money changers in the temple.) Gentleness is more closely tied to humility and caring. Gentleness, from my perspective, is having the strength to crush but the will not to.
I hope to raise my son to be gentle. He wrestles, and plays football and lacrosse. Believe me. I don’t want him to be soft.
I hope to raise my daughter to expect a man to be the same. And, she should, likewise, treat others with gentleness.
As for me? I will continue to strive to regain my gentleness.
“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”—St. Francis de Sales