“The best way to detoxify is to stop putting toxic things into the body and depend upon its own mechanisms.”–Andrew Weil
I see all sorts of articles telling me to detoxify my body. Drink this. Eat that. With regards to these, I believe Dr. Weil is correct. More so, however, I am concerned with emotional toxicity.
Just as detoxifying our body begins with not putting in toxic things, we must avoid toxic people and toxic environments!
A recent article in Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201608/8-common-traits-the-toxic-people-in-your-life) identified eight characteristics of toxic people:
- Toxic people are manipulative.
- They are judgmental.
- They take no responsibility for their own feelings.
- They don’t apologize.
- They are inconsistent.
- They make you prove yourself to them.
- They make you defend yourself.
- They are not caring, supportive, or interested in what’s important to you.
You don’t need people like this in your life. Get rid of them. If you can’t get rid of them (e.g., you can’t just change your job), detoxify. Purge their effects.
Your growth habits become your emotional liver. These filter the damaging effects of the toxic people and maintain your emotional health.
If you can avoid toxic people, by all means do so. This is certainly not possible one 100% of the time. So, you need to filter them. Often one toxic person is easy enough to contend with. Multiple toxic people are like a cancer and far more devastating. The first step is to assess your current situation. Toxic people/environments will generally not change. So, the question is: Do you change or do you change environments? Chances are you can’t change environments (at least immediately). So, changing yourself is, perhaps, the best option. Now, I know, the question in your head is: “Wait a minute. They are the toxic ones. Why do I have to change?” Why? Because they won’t, and you are not changing to suit them. You must change your approach for you. In other words, this is an “opportunity” to grow. The following are some random thoughts on what you can do (some I do regularly and others I know I perhaps should—and, for full disclosure, I am learning how to deal with toxic situations):
- Find the group or persons in the environment and meet regularly to focus on uplifting and encouraging one another.
- Up your journaling skills—start your day with positive, energizing thoughts.
- Encourage others.
- Find your Mastermind group and/or mentors.
- Consider the “opportunities” that are presented in your situation, rather than dwelling on these as burdens or challenges.
- Clear the clutter in your work space and home environments—don’t add to the turmoil in the environment.
- Allow time in the day to escape and take a “productive pause”.
- Surround yourself with cheer—let light invade the darkness.
- Schedule time for exercise.
- Schedule a daily “15-minute Check-In” with your spouse, partner, or another close relationship to share and debrief—don’t carry the frustrations alone.
So, before you consider a physical cleanse and drink some bizarre concoction, cleanse yourself emotionally. It will do much more for your health.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
“The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors.”—Tony Robbins