I have a favorite character from the movie, Zootopia. It is Flash, the sloth who works at the DMV (“What…do..you…call…a…three…humped…camel?”). The slow moving, slow talking sloth reminds me to slow things down a bit—particularly when it comes to the reactions toward others.
Stephen R. Covey suggested that we expand the space between the stimulus and the response. In other words, allow yourself a moment to consider your response.
What is the definition of a “split second”? Answer: the time between the light turning green and a New Yorker hitting the horn. (No offense to my New York friends!!)
How many of us are too quick to react? (My hand is up.) The idea of expanding the space is to allow our better judgment to process before responding. We have a choice in how we respond. Remember: we are commander of our circumstances. When we allow circumstances—especially those which come and go in an instant (like being cutoff on the highway)—to command our response there is a lasting negative effect. I don’t know about you, but when I am cutoff on the highway and am not in a good place (i.e., “well-centered”), I can hold on to the offense for quite sometime. We are best to let it go before we react.
I suspect that Flash is not so easily offended. We, too, need to slow down and decide wisely how we will respond. It helps when we have considered and defined our values and mission. It further helps to visit these at the start of the day. In addition, it takes much practice. The more often we can insert the question, “Is how I am about to respond consistent with my values?”, between the stimulus and response, the more likely we are to respond in a way consistent with these values.
The choice is ours. Our choice, in turn, brings with it consequences. If we allow ourselves to react negatively, we will be set on a negative trajectory that will subsequently impact others. There is great satisfaction in allowing an offense to slide off like an egg in a well-oiled Teflon pan. Positive responses tend to have a compounding effect.
As you go through the day, do so from moment to moment, choosing careful how you respond to other. Pause. Consider. Live according to your values and not your circumstances.
Carpe momento!
“In the space between stimulus (what happens) and how we respond, lies our freedom to choose. Ultimately, this power to choose is what defines us as human beings. We may have limited choices but we can always choose. We can choose our thoughts, emotions, moods, our words, our actions; we can choose our values and live by principles. It is the choice of acting or being acted upon.”—Stephen R. Covey