“The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.”–Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I reconnected with an old friend from high school yesterday. We really didn’t run in the same circles in high school and, I confess, that I wasn’t always the nicest person to this and other classmates. We had a lot of catching up to do after 40+ years. The conversation has me reflecting on the true meaning of and need for friendship.
Some of my closest “friends” from high school (and other periods in life) barely give me the time of day anymore. Instead, I find that many I did not treat the best or to whom show the most interest in youth are the ones who seem the quickest to buoy me up when I need it.
True friendship, I am seeing, requires the capacity to forgive and to not dwell in the past. True friends exist in the present. True friends can pick up where a relationship left off—even after decades of separation. I am grateful for these people.
I am grateful for the people who can forgive me for the times I was ignorant and self-absorbed. I am grateful for the people who give for the sake of giving. I am grateful for the people who teach me to be other-centered. I am grateful for the people who see the good in me despite myself.
Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote that “our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst, but the best of our nature.” I don’t wholly agree. I would say that our most intimate friend is one to whom we show our worst, but who still sees the best of our nature.
“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings.”—Jean de la Bruyere
Better are the friends who can forgive our greatest failings. We are not (or should not) be the persons we were in our youth. As we grow, we outgrow the “friends” of convenience and selfishness. Maturity is a process much like gardening—we weed and prune our “gardens.” Weeds crowd out healthy plants (i.e., relationships). Pruning is selectively choosing who will have influence in our lives. Often our “garden” is full of dormant seeds waiting for the conditions to be right to sprout. I have never been much of a gardener, but I am trying to learn.
Grattitude to the many who are helping me become a better person. I am grateful that your memories are short and that you can teach me what friendship is.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!!