“Our job as leaders is to create a healthy margin of difficulty that allows for growth.”—Heath Eslinger
The title I gave this posting may seem at first to be the precise opposite of what we should be doing as leaders—as parents, managers, coaches, teachers, etc. Indeed, it appears to be very much the opposite of what we are trending toward as leaders. I have made it clear that I want my children to fail. Listening to Heath Eslinger, Head Wrestling Coach at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, speak recently, he gave me pause to consider a slight shift in my semantics. The attitude has not changed, but the language he gives the intent is helpful.
Failure, according to Coach Eslinger, is permanent. We don’t want our children, students, athletes, employees, etc. to quit. We do, however, want them to grow. We want them to go out and be their best today and be better tomorrow.
When I tell my children to “go out and fail today”, I am not suggesting that they do nothing well or that they be an utter “failure”. What I am saying to them is “go out and take risks that will help you grow”. In other words: “Go out and allow yourself a healthy margin of difficulty.”
As an exercise physiologist, it is easy for me to see this from the perspective of physiological adaptation. When coaching someone to improve performance, one considers the principle of “overload”—remember: in order for a body system to adapt, it must be stressed to a level greater than that to which it is accustomed. We can take this a step farther and consider “over-reaching” and “overtraining”. Following the analogy of physical training, our goal in leading to personal growth is to avoid overtraining—permanent failure. Over-reaching, physiologically, is pushing just beyond one’s normal ability to recover. This is usually planned, as is the added recovery that is necessary. Overtraining leads to lasting damage that takes a significant amount of time from which to recover. Applying this to growth and leadership, overtraining equates to permanent failure. This is not desirable. One is pushing those he or she is leading to the point of demotivation and discouragement. Over-reaching equates to challenging someone to extend beyond the “comfort zone”. A certain risk of failure exists, but this is failure that teaches. Remember, we want to stress that there are no losers—only winners and learners. This is the level of challenge that Coach Eslinger might consider a “healthy margin of difficulty that allows for growth”.
We don’t want to completely remove the possibility of failure (i.e., not succeeding), but we don’t want success to be the only option. Two things can happen when we do. First, we can create a sense of entitlement. Secondly, we do not teach how to effectively deal with adversity and failure. We want those we are leading to learn to work to succeed. There is no real growth otherwise.
We create a healthy margin of difficulty that allows for growth by providing the environment for long-term success. Success is not immediate. Nor is failure permanent. As leaders, we are there to teach and present opportunity. We are to be supportive, but not hand-hold. We are to be demanding, but encouraging.
I tell my children: “Be your best today; be better tomorrow.” This implies that they are to give a 100% effort and challenge themselves such that they will “overload” today’s effort—i.e., 100% effort is more than 100% effort was the day before. This promotes growth. Anything less is merely staying the same.
Live as you lead. Challenge yourself as you would challenge others. Allow yourself a “healthy margin of difficulty”. Carpe momento!
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
“Only by contending with challenges that seem to be beyond your strength to handle at the moment you can grow more surely toward the stars.”—Brian Tracy