“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”—Jesus (Matthew 18:20, NIV)
Over the last year, we have had limited community—limited opportunity to gather in what Parker J. Palmer1 would call “small circles.” I am talking about real community—real heart-felt, honest, other-centered relationship (outside of just the home). Honestly, I would say it has been years since I have experienced real community. There have been periods of short-lived community, but this has been rare. Over the last year, because of COVID-19 restrictions, churches have been closed, school and work interactions have been limited to Zoom meetings and other virtual gatherings, interaction with family and friends have been limited, and mixing with neighbors was inhibited.
If we are honest, these limitations have existed for quite some time. They have tended to be self-imposed by what Palmer would call the “divided self.” We gather, but we don’t truly open ourselves to community. We tend only to share a guarded façade of our self.
Churches have been online or limited for the last year. Even prior to COVID-19, I have tended to find church shallow and self-centered. It is hard to go back after the restrictions have been lifted. Churches are often full of people, but still empty. I am sure that it is not the case everywhere. I know, because I have known several communities in my lifetime. They just seem increasingly difficult to find. I have long been off the religion wagon—but no less lacking in my faith.
I have been re-reading A Hidden Wholeness1 and was (again) inspired by the following:
“A circle of trust can form wherever two or three are gathered—as long as those two or three know how to create and protect a space for the soul.”—Parker J. Palmer (p. 29).
The statement reminded me of the above verse in Matthew (in the bible). Often, in Christian groups, this is taken to mean group prayer—as though God can only respond to the collective voice. I am learning, however, that there is more to this. The very message of Jesus is community and other-centeredness. Palmer is merely paraphrasing what Jesus said millennia ago– For where two or three gather to create and protect a place for the soul, there they will experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
I transitioned at some point in life from going to church to needing Church. It is a 24/7 need—that lately goes unfulfilled. That it is unfulfilled is as much my fault as any other’s. Society—secular and religious—has move from community. My wife has often noted how the architecture of modern homes has moved away from front porches. As a society, we look to label one another—to divide ourselves and others into groups. Thus, we ignore the soul. We deny the Interconnectedness that seeks to unite us. We are left empty and wanting—alone in a world full of people.
Allowing space for the soul to speak is hard in a society that wants to be heard but fails to listen to its own soul, let alone allow the souls of others to speak. We need to begin with our own “circles of trust”. We need to begin by letting ourselves (our true selves) be exposed and by allowing others to be unguarded. This, however, is impossible in a society so easily offended and so quick to judge. We need much less “us” and “them” and more other-centeredness. We need community.
1A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life, Parker J. Palmer