Sometimes it is okay to be “rude”

 

“People really will stop their cars when they shouldn’t to let a pedestrian or bicyclist cross the street. They will also try to wave you through an intersection when they have the right of way. They legitimately find the zipper merge to be rude.”—Lizzy Acker, The Oregonian/OregonLive

I grew up in Pittsburgh where I got my driver’s license at 16. I honed my driving skills by living for a period on Long Island and working in the New York Metropolitan area. Still, after 11 years in Oregon, I am not used to the drivers. I came across the above quote, and, honestly, it only captures a glimpse of the “too-polite drivers” in Portland. No ill toward Portlanders, but they have to stop believing they are being “polite” and realize that this only contributes to the growing traffic problems.

The pedestrian crosswalk law drives me insane. The law itself is reasonable—stop for a pedestrian in a crosswalk. No brainer there. Where the crazy sets in is when people stop and resist you waving them on. Personally, when I see a car coming to a cross walk (where there is no stop sign), I stand back from the curb and expect them to pass. Nevertheless, most will still stop. I wave again, and they still insist that I go. In the time they spent arguing with me (“being polite”), they could be well on their way and I would be across the street.

There is some basic physics, here. I am a brisk walker. With my long stride, I can walk 4-5 miles per hour without breaking a sweat. A car with even the crappiest of engines can go faster. So, go when I wave you on. You are not out-politing me. You are being stupid (if I can be so blunt). If there are cars behind you, you are delaying them more than you are delaying me. If you want to be polite, wave “thank you” and proceed.

Much the same goes for waving someone through an intersection when they have the right of way. Now, I am familiar with the “Pittsburgh left”. Understand why this is different. The Pittsburgh left is offered to an oncoming driver who is turning left when a traffic signal turns green or when two cars arrive at a stop sign at the same time. This can actually serve to speed traffic along and is actually a polite thing to do. In Portland, I have often experienced someone—who is already stopped at a stop sign when I arrive—motion me on when there is no question that they have the right of way. Personally, it makes me feel rushed and uncomfortable. It might make the other driver feel good, but….

About bikes…. Bikes are not pedestrians. Unless you are a child, you should not be biking on the sidewalks, and the crosswalk law (in my non-legal opinion) does not apply. Drivers also do not have to follow cyclists up a hill. You may safely pass! (And, personally, I find that many—certainly, not all—Portland cyclists are void of the “too-polite” trait.)

The blatant refusal to obey the “zipper merge” is most significant contribution to traffic problems in Portland (other than poor urban growth planning). There is nothing rude about using two lanes of traffic effectively up to the merge point! Also, there is no need to stop before merging onto a highway or to slow down to change lanes to get off the highway.

The “too-polite” example I think is missing from the article is the tendency to stop rather than yield before entering a round-about (traffic circle). As an extension of the zipper merge, it is no surprise that Portlanders do this. A traffic circle, however, is intended to speed traffic flow. They should not be treated as four-way stops. (And, to the drivers who speed up to prevent one from zipper merging, your passive-aggressiveness does not go unnoticed.)

I don’t know from where the practice of driving the speed limit in the passing lane comes, but this, too, adds to the traffic problems. Perhaps, like zipper merge, people legitimately think they are making a better world by slowing traffic (i.e., preventing cars from passing). I don’t know.

It is not my intent to Portland bash. My intent is more to suggest that what one considers “polite” may be another’s “rude”. If we truly want to be nice and make the world a better place (not just our definition of a better place), we need to be considerate. Considerate is defined as “always thinking of other people’s wishes and feelings; careful not to hurt or upset others” (Oxford Learner’s Dictionary). It is as simple as the “Golden Rule”: do unto others as you would have done to you. Frankly, it just requires a little logic and common sense. Ask yourself: “Am I doing this to make me feel better, or am I actually benefitting my neighbor?”

I am certain that more than a few Portland drivers have found me “rude”. I am okay with that. If I wave you through a crosswalk, understand that I trust that you can pass the two parallel white lines faster than I can cross them and that I, too, am attempting to be courteous. If I speed up to merge, it is your speeding up to prevent me that is “rude”, and I am not cutting you off in a traffic circle I am “merging”. Use the passing lane to pass. If I or another driver am passing at a speed too fast for the posted speed limit, trust that our State Troopers will do the fine job that they do. (Forcing the California drivers to pass on the right creates a greater safety issue—just teasing, my California friends.) The roads are safest and most efficient when everyone drives considerately.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

1https://expo.oregonlive.com/life-and-culture/g66l-2019/08/4c2ae917ae89/27-things-no-one-tells-you-before-moving-to-portland.html

(Image source: National Association of City Transportation Officials)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *