Social Well-centeredness.
Humans are social beings. We do not function well in isolation. (Sometimes we don’t function well with others, either.) We need and desire the support and encouragement of others. We need community. I consider the Social dimension of well-centered fitness to be the pinnacle because it depends so much on the centeredness of the other dimensions—particularly the Spiritual, Physical, and Intellectual dimensions—as well as facilitates the other dimensions. (For example, what is the point of being other-centered when there are no others?)
As dependent upon social interaction as we are, I believe that there is no other time in human history that we have been so socially isolated. We are connected like never before because of social media and the Internet, yet these same tools are what further isolate us. As a professor, I am disheartened when I walk the halls or into a classroom and see every student staring at the screen of his or her smart phone. I am equally dispirited when I see a table of people at a restaurant (or in any opportunity to socialize) staring at their phone. It is like going to the river and having nothing to drink.
Social media also allows divides more than it unites. It does little to promote conversation—true heartfelt I-care-what-you-have-to-say honest discourse. It tends to group us with those who are most likely to give the thumbs-up emoji to all that we have to say.
Social media can be a great tool, if used correctly. I appreciate that I am able to connect and remain connected to people across the globe. I have developed relationships with people I have never met or might never meet via social media. I have reconnected with friends I have not seen for decades—friends from high school and college who, without social media, would be lost to the past.
Our approach to social media needs to be other-centered. I am learning to use it as a tool to encourage, support, and to listen to others. Nevertheless, it is no replacement for face-to-face connections. We must make every effort to socialize in-person.
It is most important that we be present for those closest to us. (I am reminding myself of this.) I established a practice a while back with my wife, which we refer to as our “15-minute check-in” (or more often “sitting down”). It is a time in the day to sit and converse about all that has gone on in our day, challenges, and schedules. The glass of wine or beer that often accompanies these mini-dates isn’t always best for our body compositions, but it creates a more social rather than business setting. It is something to look forward to each day. We find it, likewise, important to set aside special time for each of the kids (e.g., father-daughter dates, father-son days, etc.) and to eat dinner together.
Community is important to Social well-centeredness. Honestly, I think we have lost some of our capacity for community. We don’t know our neighbors like in past generations. At social gatherings, we tend to gravitate to those we already know. I have seen a trend, as well, in how people respond (or, more accurately, don’t respond) to social invitations. It is almost as if people are hesitant to commit lest they get a better offer. Whatever the motivation, it does little to build community.
Social well-centeredness places a greater importance on the welfare of others above our self. It also allows one to be vulnerable.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!