“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”—Zig Ziglar
Setting goals are, no doubt, important, but is it the achievement of the goal that is most important? Perhaps the best answer is “yes and no”. It is important that we have and achieve goals, but the process in the pursuit is no less important.
I have mentioned before that Coyte Cooper (Make Your Mark, www.coytecooper.com) puts a twist on the concepts of S.M.A.R.T. goals, suggesting that goals should be “not reasonable by normal expectations”. In other words, our goals should extend just beyond our (perceived) reach. We must strive to do what is not seen as reasonably possible. Perhaps, we won’t reach our goal, by chances are we will achieve more than we thought possible. Clearly, falling a little short on a lofty goal is less desirable than falling short of a small, easily attainable goal. I just finished reading No Excuses by Kyle Maynard. Here is a guy who took “not reasonable by normal expectations” to the extreme, fell short, but kicked the butt of expectations, achieving incredible success.
Process is important. What we learn in pursuing—and especially in failing at—our goals will have lasting effects. This does not, of course, mean that we concern ourselves less about the goal itself. It simply means that we emphasize both the process and the fulfillment of the goal.
My Mastermind group is dominated by collegiate wrestling coaches. (I am the only academic—and the least accomplished wrestler.) Yesterday, Andy Lausier (Sacred Heart University Head Wrestling Coach) commented that: “the desire to win is an undeniable fact”. In other words, success is the desired outcome, therefore one must focus on how he or she performs. Indeed, focusing only on the desired outcome—winning—can potentially interfere with peak performance. This reminded me of a number of conversations I have had recently and where my mind has actually been lately. Coaches and academics—and pretty much anyone in a leadership role–are challenged with the balance of setting the bar for success and promoting long-term growth. Leadership is a transformational proposition. In leading others, and in our own growth processes, the emphasis must be to be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Two words have come up repeatedly in recent conversations. These are “gratitude” and “opportunity”. These are the “process” piece of goal setting. When we pursue goals from a perspective of continuous improvement, the outcome becomes less important that the pursuit of the outcome.
As a leader—coach, teacher, manager, etc.—our interactions must be transformational rather than transactional. Winning (i.e., the goal of winning) is a given—an undeniable fact. But it is what happens in the process that is most important.
Welcome the process. Receive the opportunity to pursue success with gratitude. Receive the outcome—whatever it might be—as an opportunity to learn and be grateful for the lesson. There is a saying that “in wrestling there are only winners and learners”. The same is true for life. In life, you are succeeding or you are growing. Anything else, you aren’t participating.
Set big goals for yourself, but seek “process goals” along the way. Dream big and welcome the lessons along the way. If you seek that which is not reasonable by normal expectations, there is no prospect of failure. Only two potential options remain—success or a new lesson learned. Along the way there is much about yourself you will discover. As Theodore Roosevelt famously said: “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” The one who never dares to accept the challenge or to take the road less traveled misses out on the opportunities and experiences that are waiting for those with the heart to receive them. Carpe momento!
“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”—Confucius