“Coaching is not about winning. Striving to achieve at a high level is a given. It is about drastically changing lives. Miss that and you miss the point.”—Coyte Cooper
Coaching has been on my mind lately. My son just finished his 5/6 youth football season with a tough 16-8 loss in the championship and starts the wrestling season tonight. My students in the Exercise Motivation & Adherence course presented their “Coaching Youth Philosophy” papers, and I am in the process of grading.
Last night, we celebrated the football season and the boys with a banquet/party. I had the pleasure and honor of presenting gifts to the coaches from the parents as a token of our appreciation. I wanted to speak to the coaches from the heart, and, after they finished addressing each boy and commenting on their contribution to the team, my job was easy. I felt truly blessed to have my son play for these coaches and the rest of the boys.
One could not ask for more intense and enthusiastic coaches, but what was clear to me throughout the season was their sincere concern for each and every boy on the team. As they spoke about each boy, the word “love” was heard repeatedly. Moreover, what I heard was praise for who the boys are becoming.
In InSide-Out Coaching, Joe Ehrmann identifies two types of coaches: Transactional and Transformational. Transactional coaches are most concerned with what they can get from the athletes—namely, wins. Transformational coaches are most concerned with the they can give to the athletes. The true success of a transformational coach may not be seen for decades, when the boy becomes a man—in how he treats others, is successful in the workplace and community, and how he lives his life. What a boy or girl learns in sports will affect them the rest of their lives. How they win and lose will impact how they respond to what live brings.
What type of coach someone is may be seen in how they approach playing time, how they interact with parents, how they approach wins and losses, and how they treat effort and achievement. I most appreciate the coaches who are going to hard on my young athlete while rewarding the progress that is being made—the coaches who make it fun to work your tail off.
There was not a boy on my son’s team who was not appreciated and did not improve throughout the season. It was gratifying to hear the coaches speak of each boy’s success and role on the team. I was especially moved by the words spoken of my own son. Whether the words fully resounded in his 11-year-old brain is not clear, but, certainly, they will be with him as he continues to mature.
Tonight, he moves on to wrestling where he will have a coach who is equally hard on him and concerned for his long-term success. Different lessons are in store for my boy as we shift sports, but undoubtedly, he will be building on the confidence and success of the football season.
As we interact with others, particularly those over which we are charged. We must consider “What type of coach am I?” For, though we may not wear a whistle, we are in a role of “coach”. Will we push our “athletes” to bring their best to the game—to be their best today, and be better tomorrow—or we be transactional, only looking to see what we can gain from the relationship? I trust we will be transformational and seize the opportunity to help our “athletes” achieve.
Carpe momento!
“One of the great myths in America is that sports build character. They can and they should. Indeed, sports may be the perfect venue in which to build character. But sports don’t build character unless a coach possesses character and intentionally teaches it. Sports can team with ethics and character and spirituality; virtuous coaching can integrate the body with the heart, the mind, and the soul.”—Joe Ehrmann