Today’s topic was suggested by my friend Andy Lausier, head wrestling coach at Davidson College. Funny that he would suggest this, as he has taught me much about eliminating self-doubt with his philosophy of “’have’ to ‘get’”. Andy is also the reason I have pressed to share a blog post a day for what is approaching two years.
A bit more than two years ago Coach Lausier set out to bike from Fairfield, CT (where he was then coaching at Sacred Heart University) to St. Louis, MO (where the NCAA Tournament was being held that year) in seven days—that is roughly 1100 miles!!—to raise money for his program. Andy had an epiphany on this journey and came to realize that we often face life from the perspective of “have”—e.g., “I have to bike….”—rather than from the perspective of “get”—e.g., “I get to bike” (considering that countless people would love to endure the pain of cycling 160 miles, if only they had not lacked the physical ability to do so). This was a two-by-four to the head in my own battles with self-doubt. It prompted me to take the daily approach of looking at the “challenges” and “barriers” in my life as opportunities.
Self-doubt is nothing but a distorted perspective on reality. It is a choice we make. Unfortunately, it is most often the wrong choice. (The exception being something stupid that we should not be doing).
Years ago the pastor of the church I was attending at the time shared a lesson that his father had taught him. Mr. Schurter taught us that “’Can’t’ never did nuthin’”. “Can’t” is a phrase that I do not allow in my children’s vocabulary. We may not be able to do something given our current resources and abilities, but that does not exclude there being a way. Effort and preparation are the key to any desire.
I have an appreciation for Dr. Robert Schuller’s approach (e.g., the Crystal Cathedral) to monumental opportunities. He referred to this as the “power of possibility thinking. If you have an opportunity, break it down. If you need to raise a million dollars, it is possible that you might find one donor to contribute the $1,000,000. It is more plausible that you could find two donors to contribute $500,000 or four to contribute $250,000 or ten to contribute $100,000 or 100 to contribute $10,000…. No opportunity is too overwhelming when you break it down into manageable steps—“baby steps” according to Dr. Leo Marvin (What About Bob?).
When I consider self-doubt, I always think back to one of my rare victories in high school wrestling. I was wrestling a kid, Leroy, and almost immediately caught him in a head-and-arm to put him on his back. I couldn’t quite get his shoulder to the mat, and we struggled for the first period. My teammates were yelling: “Pin him!” His were yelling: “Get off your back, Leroy!” After some time, he turned to his teammates and groaned, “I can’t.” I knew at that point he was defeated, and the match was mine. And, yes, I did win.
Jesus taught that doubt was the enemy of one’s faith (Matthew 14:31-33). What may fail to notice in this story was that Peter was walking on the water. Doubt comes from within. The only way to eliminate is to deny it. As soon as we allow doubt the slightest hold on us, we are defeated. So, choose self-confidence.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!