“Over the past half century, in the United States and other developed nations, children’s free play with other children has declined sharply. Over the same period, anxiety, depression, suicide, feelings of helplessness, and narcissism have increased sharply in children, adolescents, and young adults…. Play functions as the major means by which children (1) develop intrinsic interests and competencies; (2) learn how to make decisions, solve problems, exert self-control, and follow rules; (3) learn to regulate their emotions; (4) make friends and learn to get along with others as equals; and (5) experience joy. Through all of these effects, play promotes mental health.”—Peter Gray*
Kids across the U.S. are starting back to school. If your family is like mine, you received a long list of items that parents are to purchase for the start of the school year—pencils (Ticonderoga #2 and colored), paper, notebooks, rulers, scissors, glue sticks, etc. Never on the list have I seen “comfortable athletic shoes”. Perhaps, it is just expected that kids will have these?
I am an advocate for more Physical Education in our schools, as well as more recreational time and organized sports (which are increasingly dropped at the middle school level). My son (going into 8th grade) no longer has P.E.—it is called “Wellness”, meaning that much of the activity time that was once P.E. is now occupied with Health lessons. My daughter, like most primary/elementary school children, gets two P.E. classes per week. Fortunately, she at least gets some additional recess time (and my son has sports). This is concerning—and a source of personal frustration when it draws close to standardized test season and it is increasingly apparent that the focus is on test scores. (By no means do I blame the teachers, as they have their hands tied by state and federal regulations, distorted expectations, and limited/misappropriated resources.)
Play has a crucial role in preadolescent development. According to Dr. Gray, “play functions as the major means by which children”:
(1) develop intrinsic interests and competencies. Free-play allows children to explore within their own interests. Structured Physical Education has its place, but, more than just this, kids need time to just play. And this extends beyond the school day. When kids come home after school, they need to do more than just homework and sit in front of the television. Times have changed in the 40+ years since I was a child. We had only a handful of channels on a black and white TV, no video games or cell phones. We were expected to get outside and play—the only expectation being that we were home in time for supper (and we were usually deaf to mother’s call to come home). Today, too many parents have a fear of letting their kids play out of sight. We live in an age where “free range parenting” is prohibited (except in Utah).
(2) learn how to make decisions, solve problems, exert self-control, and follow rules. By no means do I support bullying of any kind, but there is, in my humble opinion, to the “zero tolerance” policies that pervade our schools. Kids need to learn and practice conflict resolution and deal with rejection. We cannot legislate human behavior. It is learned and practiced by trial and error. In other words, we must let kids fail and deal with the consequences. There will be bumps and bruises along the way, but the benefit of conflict is stronger children physically, emotionally, and socially.
(3) learn to regulate their emotions. I know I sound cold in this age of “safe spaces” and “tolerance”, but I want my kids to experience failure and to know that they are entitled only to what they earn. I will never teach my son that “men don’t cry”. I do teach my children, however, that there are more or less appropriate emotional responses to social situations. Often, these lessons are taught at the expense of my own need to grow emotionally.
(4) make friends and learn to get along with others as equals. Perhaps, I am overly optimistic, but I believe that, if kids were left free to play and resolve conflicts and build relationships on their terms, the issues of racism, classism, and individual differences would resolve themselves. Instead, as parents and educators, we put labels on people and legislate social interaction. Moreover, as parents, we set up false expectations for our children that are sure to leave them disappointed or with a false sense of superiority.
(5) experience joy. There is no denying that play is fun—when it is free and unrestricted. So, let the kids play!
I was inspired this morning but an article** about the urging of the American Academy of Pediatrics for pediatricians to write “prescriptions for play” during early childhood well-visits. Personally, I would be embarrassed to have to have a physician explain to me the importance of play. Granted, exercise science is my profession, but it baffles me that this is such a growing societal concern. The author goes on to discuss the growing emphasis on early academics and academic achievement. The recommendation for the injection of more play in schools ins emphasized, but, most importantly, the author suggests that “maybe it’s time for parents to take back play from both the teachers and the doctors (and) carve-out abundant time and space for free play”.
Maybe it is time to loosen the restrictions on “free range parenting” and to push the kids outside. If there are concerns for safety, then we parents and neighbors have a responsibility to keep kids safe—not by wrapping them in “bubble wrap” but by keeping watch from an appropriate distance. We need to take a good hard look at how the structuring of our suburban communities are isolating our children and lending themselves to the rising psychopathologies that are appearing in the children and adolescents—who are fast becoming adults.
*Gray, P. The decline of play and the rise of psychopathology in children and adolescents. American Journal of Play, 3(4): 443-463, 2011.
**https://fee.org/articles/pediatricians-are-now-writing-prescriptions-for-play-during-well-child-visits/
Image source: www.wildwoodplaygrounds.com