I have been receiving a number of messages pointing to the importance of friendship and community. So, taking a cue from The Celestine Prophecy, I have been reflecting on what it means to create “well-centered community”.
I have been reading A Hidden Wholeness in which Parker J. Palmer addresses the practice of a “circle of trust” as a means of finding one’s inner soul. He addresses solitude and community and stresses that these are not either-or concepts. He defines these as follows:
“If we are to hold solitude and community together as a true paradox, we need to deepen our understanding of both poles. Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather, it means never living apart from one’s self. It is not about the absence of other people—it is about being fully present to ourselves, whether or not we are with others. Community does not necessarily mean face-to-face with others; rather it means never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other. It is not about the presence of other people—it is about being fully open to the reality of relationship, whether or not we are alone.”
This is the very essence of Spiritual well-centeredness—“never living apart from one’s self…never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other”. As well, this perception of “relationship” is essential to the concept of well-centered fitness—the interdependence of the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions.
In a well-centered community, we make room for solitude and community. There are times for isolation—for journaling, reflection, meditation, etc. Isolation provides time to recharge the batteries and to center one’s self. There are certainly times for community—Social well-centeredness is at pinnacle of the well-centered fitness pyramid, after all. It is important that we have family and friendships—that we be in relationship with others.
S. Lewis wrote:
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
Well-centered fitness—living a well-centered life (Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially)—requires that one “give value to survival”. Thus, one’s personal “well-centeredness” has its greatest value in community.
Spiritual Community. There is no Spiritual well-centeredness without community. As stated already (using the words of Dr. Palmer), Spiritual well-centeredness is “never living apart from one’s self…never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other”. We seek Spiritual growth in both solitude and community. This is the “Spiritual self” I addressed previously. We are our best today and strive to be better tomorrow for community.
Physical Community. We are nearly always in some form of physical community. We live in physical proximity to someone(s). We may attempt to isolate our self, but short of living entirely off the land like a hermit in some very remote wilderness, we will at some level interact with someone at some time.
We have some choice in our Physical community—where we live, work, exercise, etc. Where we have no choice, we have the choice in how we interact with that physical environment.
In terms of Physical well-centeredness, we determine what we do for our physical exercise and health habits. Thus, the well-centered community is one that supports these healthy choices. This includes the personal example we set for others and the opportunities that we create for ourselves and others.
I live in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon—a city that prides itself on being “bike-friendly”. I find, however, that this label of “bike-friendly” is true only in limited places. There are bike lanes, but they are not continuous. Thus, there are numerous stretches of road where only the most expert cyclist would dare ride between designated bike lanes. This hardly encourages recreational cycling (or running/walking, as these roads are equally unsafe for pedestrians).
A Physically well-centered community (in the geopolitical sense) should provide easy access to physical activity. There should be parks and appropriately challenging playgrounds for children (and ideally ones to which people can easily walk and bike). There should be access to clean waterways for physical activities, such as swimming and kayaking. Communities need to be safe for residents to be outdoors—safe for children and adults to play. Schools need to emphasize physical education, sports, and general physical activity. Physically well-centered communities make physically healthy living a priority.
In the relational sense, we create a Physically well-centered community in our personal health choices. There is a need for community when it comes to exercise. Personally, I exercise at home—alone. I prefer this; but, deep down, I would rather be exercising with others. On one hand, I find exercising at home convenient, and, as a former fitness trainer, I struggle watching people workout (there is just so much form to correct!—it is distracting). I have also had struggles over the years to find effective and reliable lifting partners. So, I opt to “go it alone”.
I have my issues with CrossFit® training, but one thing they have certainly gotten right is the community environment they build. They quite effectively tap into our innate desire and need to be part of a community. We can see similar communities develop with local running groups, Weight Watchers®, diets, exercise classes, etc. We must encourage such communities as well-centered persons. It is unfortunate that much of the fitness industry is so commercially-oriented that the focus is on profit and not health (a tip: fitness facilities that charge extremely cheap monthly dues do not want you to come!). Physically well-centered communities are welcoming and encourage the success of all individuals in pursuit of their Physical goals.
Intellectual Community. Personally, I think we have lost sight of “Intellectual community”. K-12 schools are increasingly driven by standardized test scores and curriculum that is determined by non-educators. Universities have been slow to adapt to the changing societal needs and are fast becoming little more than vocational training centers and diploma mills. We have access to a tremendous amount information—and that access grows at an exponential rate—but we have lost sight of what to do with it.
Intellectual well-centeredness is not just about accumulating information. It is about the synthesis and utilization of information. More importantly, it is about the sharing and generation of new ideas.
Our society is becoming increasing polarized by ideas—decreasingly well-centered. We fear “political incorrectness”. We easily cry “offense”. We protest and argue, but rarely discuss. We get information from social media and share without interacting with the information—without considering the accuracy or legitimacy of the information. We close ourselves off from information and viewpoints that do not agree with our worldview. Sadly, we do not regularly evaluate our ideas or seek to broaden our knowledge.
An Intellectual community supports and encourages free-thinking and honest (and respectful) discourse. An Intellectual community supports education over indoctrination. Schools and libraries—and other institutions of culture and history—are important community institutions. Intellectually well-centered people welcome and participate in the sharing of ideas—no matter how different they are from their own.
Emotional Community. Emotionally well-centered communities give space to others to find their Purpose or “soul”. Personally, I find it difficult to step back and let others “be themselves”. Rather, I prefer to shape people into my image for them. As a parent and as a teacher, I am finding that I need to be a guide rather than a potter. As well-centered communities, it is important that we allow others to feel and to express themselves in their own time and space. We must encourage rather than push.
As an Emotionally well-centered community, we are accompanying one another on solitary journeys. Sometimes this involves more Social interaction. More often, this requires what Dr. Palmer refers to as “practicing presence”—he using as an analogy the act of “being alone together” with a dying person. He also suggests that relationships are “neither invasive or evasive”. In other words, the Emotional community is not about solving problems, it is about being present for the journey.
Social Community. The Social dimension of community seems obvious. We desire to be with other people. We need community. As C. S. Lewis wrote, however, “(community) has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival”. Thus, we don’t need to be with others to survive. Community makes life worth living.
It is sad that we are becoming so increasingly connected yet so increasingly disconnected. We are living in tighter spaces, yet know so little of the people near us. It is downright depressing to walk the halls at my university an see a hall full of students staring at their phones or observing tables of people in restaurants sitting together yet apart.
Social community is present for the people present. This is not to say that there is no value in social media or electronic interactions. Personally, I value greatly the relationships that I am able to maintain with distant friends via Facebook. I find, though, that the depth of the relationship is a matter of effort. Clicking the “thumb up” emoji and indicating that you favor someone’s comment or post is not Social community. Rather, Social community requires that we add value to the interaction—that we be truly relational.
Social community circles back to the Spiritual dimension of community. As Dr. Palmer is quoted above: “(Social) community does not necessarily mean face-to-face with others; rather it means never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other. It is not about the presence of other people—it is about being fully open to the reality of relationship, whether or not we are alone.”
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!