Many years ago, my friend, Larry and I came up with a list of “rules” for weight-training. First, there was the “accommodation theory” (if you date someone much shorter than you, it will make you look bigger—I was dating a girl who was around 5’ to my 6’5” frame. Then, there was the “dominant couple theory” (if both are big, it will make you look bigger—at this time I was dating a girl who was about 6’). There were others. We also prioritized muscle development. Accordingly, the priority muscle was the neck. The neck, after all, cannot be hidden. You may be built like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger beneath your clothes, but, if you have a pencil neck, you look weak. Conversely, a thick neck always presents strength and athleticism, and clothes can “hide a multitude of sins”. (This is probably why I have not been overly concerned about not having 6-pack abs.) The neck is followed by forearms (short sleeves) and calves (shorts).
Our “rules” were all in fun, and, of course, we don’t only neck train. We often do, however, find ourselves following similar rules in life. We focus on perceptions—on only what people see. Coach John Wooden said that “the true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” Integrity and character require that we grow, not for show, but for the purpose of growing.
All too frequently, we see the “righteous” fall when the façade is removed. Like training the neck only, eventually, the clothes are removed to reveal one’s true physique. Therefore, we can’t get by forever training only the neck. We must grow the whole of ourselves.
Personally, I worry that what I hid will be revealed and when it is revealed, it will be ugly. Not one of us is perfect, so why hide our flaws? Why project a false image of ourselves?
I have agreed to share my conversation with my friend Brad Pankey on his new podcast, The Modern Masculinity Project. I am quite nervous for this—partly because I feel I have a voice for print media—because of the doors to my life he might open. At the same time, I am excited– because of the doors to my life he might open. It is healthy for us to allow our deepest selves to be revealed. We shouldn’t care what others might think. They are not walking our path, and they, certainly, don’t understand why we are on the path we are on.
So, we should not train only the neck or neglect the neck. Rather we should train the whole body—i.e., live such that we grow inside and out.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!