“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”—Zig Ziglar
Goal setting is as much (or, perhaps, more) about whom we want to become as it is about what we want to accomplish. The goals we set for ourselves are a reflection of our values—of what we deem important.
So, what are your goals? More importantly, we need to ask the question: “Why?” Why are you setting the goals you have set?
If one’s goals do not align with one’s values, they are not likely to be achieved. Or, if they are achieved, they are unlikely to provide lasting satisfaction.
For one whose goal is to acquire financial wealth, the question of “why?” addresses several issues. First, how much is enough? Will you be satisfied with $1 million in the bank? a billion? Second, what is the intent of pursuing financial wealth? To have a secure future? To leave an inheritance for your children? To retire early and comfortably? To help others? Or is does money satisfy the ego and vanity?
There is certainly nothing wrong with desiring financial security and wealth. Many a wealthy person, however, has passed this earth miserable and unsatisfied. As Andrew Carnegie said, “There is little success where there is little laughter.” And of course, oil tycoon, J. Paul Morgan’s statement that he “would gladly give all (his) millions for just one lasting marital success” is well known. The desire for wealth is only of lasting value when it is founded on relationships.
Perhaps, your goal is “six-pack abs”. Again, I would ask the question: “WHY?” What have you gained when you get there? If one is pursuing such a goal to post “selfies” on social media, the goal is pretty darn shallow. What then? What have you gained? If on the other hand, the goal is the journey, then one has a bit better reward. Realistically, “six-pack abs” is a rather futile fitness goal. One is certain to wind up empty in the end. For one thing, six-pack abs are hard to maintain. Eventually, one has to give up on maintaining them. (I have yet to attend a funeral where the deceased’s abdomen is exposed.) Alternatively, if the journey is the goal, the discipline developed will long outlast the abdominal definition. The discipline and self-control necessary to develop a lean muscular physique can benefit in other areas of life—if we allow it to. [The completion of a marathon can, likewise, substitute here for “six-pack abs.”]
The caution in pursuing goals is that we don’t make them all about self. It is great and necessary that we pursue goals of accomplishment. It is critical, however, that the goal not disrupt one’s “well-centeredness”—at least too much or for too long.
I offer an out (“too much or for too long”), because some goals will require some sacrifice in one or more dimensions of well-centeredness. As I write this, the 2016 Summer Olympics are well underway. The athletes competing on the world stage had to sacrifice something to get where they are. This is the concept of “opportunity cost”. In training for such a high level of competition, there will be sacrifices made in relationships—time spent training must take away from family and friends. Many athletes must sacrifice education, financial pursuits, and other interests to train for the Olympic games. This is okay, provided the athlete is well grounded and understands the cost.
It is likewise important that we don’t forego goals because of the short-term cost. Regrets are difficult to exorcise. The nagging voice of “what if” can be as damaging to one’s relationships as pursuing the goal itself.
As one pursues one’s goals, one must never neglect daily investment in each of the dimensions of well-centeredness: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social. One must count the cost. Moreover, one must have a clear sense of one’s values and mission.
If the high-achiever can do these things, true and lasting success is certain. After all, the time that is necessary to invest in these dimensions are not great—15 or 30 minutes a day can have a profound benefit.
Getty also said “a lasting relationship with a woman is only possible if you are a business failure.” Really?? Indeed, there is a cost of opportunity for successful people, but there is no need to fail in any dimension to have awesome success. Indeed, truly successful people are those who are able to invest in their spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social well-being while pursuing his or her dreams.
Invest in what matters most. What matters most is what you value. Do your goals reflect what you value? Is your strategy for success congruent with your values? If an activity is not compatible with your values and does minimal to further the pursuit of your goal(s), it needs to be eliminated. There is no time in the day for that which is contrary to your goals and values—to your mission!
Carpe momento!