I am not one for New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t make lists of things I want to change in the new year. I prefer to do this daily (and in the moment, as necessary). I do, however, like to set some specific long-term goals (not necessarily to begin with a new calendar year). The new year, however, is as good a time as any to reflect and initiate growth changes.
I wrapped up 2017 with the same struggles most of us all have—feeling disappointed and frustrated with where I am. I have been in my current job and home for about nine years. We moved to Oregon the end of summer 2008. At first, I was excited by the newness and the opportunity that was presented. It turns out, life in Oregon isn’t quite the same as life back east. I battle frequently with the question of “why am I here?”
The question of “why am I here?” is two sided. It all comes down to the attitude behind the “why”. Why can be negative—like “why am I so cursed to be here?”—or why can be positive—like “what are the opportunities before me?”. As much as I like to ask the latter, I have a tendency to dwell on the former. It is, however, a choice.
I call this choice to pursue the opportunities “grattitude”. Spell-check doesn’t like the word, but it helps me get back on track (something I really need to do, right now). When we speak of attitude, we think in terms of good/bad or positive/negative. When we think of gratitude, we are often situational—grateful for this or that. Situational gratitude is selective. It allows one to still hold on to some negativity. For example, I can be grateful that I know how to drive in the snow, but I can still get angry at drivers who seemingly cannot. In such a situation, however, grattitude seeks to see the opportunity—in this example, it is a great opportunity to cultivate patience and to be understanding.
Grattitude is not something that we can simply turn on and have forever. It is not even like a battery that maintains performance until the charge gets low, and we are alerted to recharge. It is more like the old wind-up toys. Remember those? They would run at full speed for a while, then begin to slow down and eventually stop. Our grattitude requires constant attention.
As I enter 2018, I desire to live each moment in grattitude. It will require care and consideration. It means, rather than ask “why?”, I get to ask “why not?” I have a choice.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow!
Carpe momento!