Self-control. We generally think of it when it comes to moderating our behavior and denying ourselves something we desire. Self-control comes up a lot around the holidays when it comes to our diets. Could it, perhaps, be more?
The bible lists self-control among the fruit of the Holy Spirt (Galatians 5:22-23). Over time, I have come to consider these—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control–less as a gift and more of something to be cultivated. After all, if these were gifted to us, I must have missed being there when they were handed out. They are, however, something I believe I am to work to develop. When it comes to self-control, I trust it means more than avoiding drunkenness or gluttony. I think it is more than controlling behavior. It is more about not giving into “self”. Self-control plays into the idea of Spiritual well-centeredness—the idea that we are not the center of the Universe and there is something greater than self.
I have written before about my mantra, “I am third”, from Gale Sayer’s autobiography of the same title. It comes from the idea that my God is first, my family and friends are second, and I am third (my spin on the original quote from Sayer’s track coach at the University of Kansas). Living “I am third” is downright difficult. I would love to say I do, but, at best, I do for a while until self rears its ugly head. I lack “self”-control.
I am not sure that the other fruits can be cultivated without self-control. I certainly struggle with these, as well.
To truly have “self-control”, we need to fully realize that it isn’t about us. Our Purpose is not about our success. After all, isn’t this what is at the heart of the statement: “greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13, NIV)? We can’t strive to live third and complain that others put themselves ahead of us. It also doesn’t mean we allow ourselves to be a doormat. Living third—living selflessly—is to be a servant. It is not to be subservient, per se. It is to let go of self for the benefit of others. It is hard.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow!
Carpe momento!