We are all motivated by different things. As a father, teacher, and somewhat of a ‘coach’, I don’t find motivating others to be easy. You’d think I would, given that I teach a course called “Exercise Motivation & Adherence”. Nonetheless, we try.
First and foremost, motivation has to come from within. We can listen to the best motivational speeches, but we must choose to respond. We need to respond to the triggers, but ultimately behavior is a choice. Even Pavlov’s dog (ring a bell?—I couldn’t resist.) had to first make the decision before it could be trained—conditioned—to respond automatically.
We need to be sensitive to others’ motivation. Look for cues to tell us that our efforts are not working—and may even be counter-productive. Often our best efforts may be having the effect of demotivating the other. More of the same will only worsen the person’s motivation. Motivation is a dynamic process. We all have our ups and down. In interacting with others, we need to be cognizant of the downs and intervene appropriately. Withdrawal is, perhaps, one of the best indicators that our methods are ineffective. Other signs are resistance. Scales and Miller* identify arguing, interrupting, negating, and ignoring as such signs. When such signs arise, it is time for a change in methods.
We need to do our best to encourage others in whatever effective means possible. Sometimes, we just need a little help being our best today, so we can be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!
*Scales, R. & Miller, J.H. (2003) Motivational techniques for improving compliance with an exercise program: skills for primary care clinicians. Current Sports Medicine Reports 2:166-172.