“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”—Antoine de Saint-Exupery
To what extent do you believe in yourself? Do you see what others see or do you see something else? What we believe ourselves to be is often largely dependent upon what others see and to whom we choose to listen.
Self-efficacy is one of the “automatic” answers I expect from my students in my Exercise Motivation & Adherence course. Why? Because, it is often a critical factor in our ability to change—do we have the necessary confidence in our ability to do what we are being asked (by our self or another) to do? As Virgil stated: “They are able who think they are able.”
Fortunately, or unfortunately, our self-efficacy is based upon the feedback we have received from others over our lifetime. Our confidence is built or destroyed by what others think of us. There are numerous factors affecting our self-efficacy, and quite a bit of psychology theory that is beyond my training and this short post. To the point I want to make, what we believe about ourselves, ultimately, becomes a matter of personal choice. It is a matter of which voice or voices to which we choose to listen. Certainly, it is hard when the voices coming from those who should be our greatest supporters—e.g., parents, teachers, etc.—are negative. [Though sometimes we choose not to listen to these voices when they are positive.] Nonetheless, we have to ignore the naysayers and listen to the voices which believe we are (extra)ordinary. We must listen to those who would have us reach for goals that are “not reasonable by normal expectations” (Coyte Cooper). If there is no such voice, we need to be that voice unto ourselves. We need to find the voices that will lead us beyond the imaginary walls that we and/or others have created for us.
Creating confidence on our own is not easy. First, we must escape those who would tell us that we are less than we can be. Second, we have to believe in ourselves—we have to un-hear the negative talk we have received. In addition, we must find those who will support us and feed us the encouragement for which we hunger. We do not need the voice of Stuart Smalley (for those of us who grew up on Saturday Night Live) suggesting that “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” We have the capacity for so much more than we are doing. We are capable of learning more than we already know. We are liked, but it is most important that we like ourselves. We may have much negative talk to overcome, and daily affirmations are healthy, but we cannot settle for a limited self. We must dare to be better—to be (extra)ordinary.
You may see yourself as a mere pile of rocks, but look beyond the surface and see the potential within.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!
Image: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1178050