Change is a critical part of growth and self-improvement. I have adopted the term for constant improvement, kaizen, frequently used in business circles. At it’s very core, “well-centered fitness” requires constant movement toward self-improvement, i.e., continued growth. In his book, The World’s Most Powerful Leadership Principle, James C. Hunter considers the “3 F’s of change”. These are: 1) Foundation, 2) Feedback, and 3) Friction (pp. 173-184). As I consider these, I find that my mind comes to so many ways that these can be applied Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially in our lives—in our pursuit of growth and “well-centeredness”.
First, before any change can occur, one must want to change. No measure of pressure, coercion, or any self-improvement book or seminar can cause one to change unless he or she decides there is a need and a desire to change. Remember the Transtheoretical Model for Behavioral Change? We cycle through 5 Stages of Change: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. Included at any time within the process of change, of course, is the potential for Relapse. In considering these, the “3 F’s” find great utility.
Foundation. Foundation is education. In all of the early stages of change, the best strategy is to provide the basic knowledge that will trigger a desire to change. One cannot decide to do something they do not know can or needs to be done. Consider someone who opens a business, yet fails to advertise. Countless people may have no knowledge that there is such a service (precontemplation), while many may hunger for the services of such a business but not know that the business exists (contemplation). One cannot simple open the doors to a business and expect the profits to just start pouring in. Wisely, a successful business person will “educate” the community about his/her services.
Corporations are notorious for hiring consultants to “train” employees. My father was a management consultant and once published an article “The Boss Got a New Book”. The premise was that every time a leader read a new best-selling book on success he/she would be on fire to implement the strategy. Seminars and workshops would be scheduled, everyone will get excited (for a while), and maybe there would be change. (James C. Hunter suggests that maybe 10% of the people involved in the seminar/workshop/training will actually change.) There may be improvement for a while, but it soon gravitates back to old habits and stagnation.
It is import to lay the foundation—to set the standards that are expected. However, education alone does little to promote lasting change. One can read or attend all of the workshops he/she can, but there needs to be further action. Quite simply, there needs to be action. One must take the steps to change, and this is rarely done alone.
Feedback. Feedback, according to Hunter, is where we “identify the gaps between the set standard and current performance”. There will be a great need for support in trying to change. Certainly, we can self-evaluate (one of the reasons I encourage journaling and do so, myself), but we will want and need feedback from people who are significant in our lives. (I am constantly encouraging my children to call me out when I do or say things that I am teaching them not to do—and they do. They know I am not perfect and that it is not okay for me to be hypocritical.) Having mentors is critical. We need to have frank discussions with people who will challenge us. If you never have difficult or heated discussions with your friends, you might want to consider with whom you are spending your time. Remember: iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).
I also like the concept of a Mastermind group, which can take may take many forms, but is essentially the feedback piece we need for continuous self-improvement (kaizen). Remember: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” (Jim Rohn). Choose the people who will give your honest feedback.
Friction. Friction is the critical extension of Feedback. Contractually, as a faculty member at the university at which I teach, I am required once a year to be “observed” in my teaching by a peer in my division (i.e., my academic unit). In turn, I observe one of my peers. It is one of the most useless activities I have to do as a member of a faculty (and academics do some really useless stuff!). Being “observed” means I get a pat on the back from one of my peers and this goes up, I don’t know how many levels, and gets filed somewhere. I have had nine of these at my current institution, and none have helped me be a better teacher. After all, I tend to know what I do well (or think I do well). I would much prefer criticism, however, that is not part of the culture.
At two other institution I have taught, we received peer evaluations. At my first institution, these did include things upon which to improve, but were rarely what I would label as “friction—a healthy tension, if you prefer” (James C. Hunter). In the four years I was at Hope College, in Holland, Michigan, I received what I found to be helpful evaluations. My department chair, Dr. Richard Ray, in my first evaluation, gave me three pages of feedback on my Anatomy lecture. While most of the evaluation was favorable—ouch!—there was quite a bit of criticism. It was a shock, coming from a public institution that worried about writing anything that might hypothetically be used against you in the tenure/promotion process. Dr. Ray’s evaluation was useful. Among academic leaders I have worked with over the years, Rich was (is) one of my biggest supporters. The pain I felt reading the review was not offense, it was humility. Dr. Ray was honest and wrote with a desire to see me be my absolute best, and in the four years I spent at Hope College I grew the most as a teacher.
Unfortunately, we are moving away from creating a healthy tension most everywhere in our society. I am sure that I will write to this in days to come. We need to stop thinking self-esteem is so fragile and leave our “safe spaces” for the healthy spaces where friction is encouraged. Criticism is really not a horrible thing—when offered constructively. Friction is necessary. Physical laws aside, social friction—appropriately applied—can shape and polish.
I have much more to say on this topic, but, until then….
Be your best today; be better tomorrow!
Carpe momento!