Carpe momento!!

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”—Zig Ziglar

Goal setting is as much (or, perhaps, more) about whom we want to become as it is about what we want to accomplish. The goals we set for ourselves are a reflection of our values—of what we deem important.

So, what are your goals? More importantly, we need to ask the question: “Why?” Why are you setting the goals you have set?

If one’s goals do not align with one’s values, they are not likely to be achieved. Or, if they are achieved, they are unlikely to provide lasting satisfaction.

For one whose goal is to acquire financial wealth, the question of “why?” addresses several issues. First, how much is enough? Will you be satisfied with $1 million in the bank? a billion? Second, what is the intent of pursuing financial wealth? To have a secure future? To leave an inheritance for your children? To retire early and comfortably? To help others? Or is does money satisfy the ego and vanity?

There is certainly nothing wrong with desiring financial security and wealth. Many a wealthy person, however, has passed this earth miserable and unsatisfied. As Andrew Carnegie said, “There is little success where there is little laughter.” And of course, oil tycoon, J. Paul Morgan’s statement that he “would gladly give all (his) millions for just one lasting marital success” is well known. The desire for wealth is only of lasting value when it is founded on relationships.

Perhaps, your goal is “six-pack abs”. Again, I would ask the question: “WHY?” What have you gained when you get there? If one is pursuing such a goal to post “selfies” on social media, the goal is pretty darn shallow. What then? What have you gained? If on the other hand, the goal is the journey, then one has a bit better reward. Realistically, “six-pack abs” is a rather futile fitness goal. One is certain to wind up empty in the end. For one thing, six-pack abs are hard to maintain. Eventually, one has to give up on maintaining them. (I have yet to attend a funeral where the deceased’s abdomen is exposed.) Alternatively, if the journey is the goal, the discipline developed will long outlast the abdominal definition. The discipline and self-control necessary to develop a lean muscular physique can benefit in other areas of life—if we allow it to. [The completion of a marathon can, likewise, substitute here for “six-pack abs.”]

The caution in pursuing goals is that we don’t make them all about self. It is great and necessary that we pursue goals of accomplishment. It is critical, however, that the goal not disrupt one’s “well-centeredness”—at least too much or for too long.

I offer an out (“too much or for too long”), because some goals will require some sacrifice in one or more dimensions of well-centeredness. As I write this, the 2016 Summer Olympics are well underway. The athletes competing on the world stage had to sacrifice something to get where they are. This is the concept of “opportunity cost”. In training for such a high level of competition, there will be sacrifices made in relationships—time spent training must take away from family and friends. Many athletes must sacrifice education, financial pursuits, and other interests to train for the Olympic games. This is okay, provided the athlete is well grounded and understands the cost.

It is likewise important that we don’t forego goals because of the short-term cost. Regrets are difficult to exorcise. The nagging voice of “what if” can be as damaging to one’s relationships as pursuing the goal itself.

As one pursues one’s goals, one must never neglect daily investment in each of the dimensions of well-centeredness: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social. One must count the cost. Moreover, one must have a clear sense of one’s values and mission.

If the high-achiever can do these things, true and lasting success is certain. After all, the time that is necessary to invest in these dimensions are not great—15 or 30 minutes a day can have a profound benefit.

Getty also said “a lasting relationship with a woman is only possible if you are a business failure.” Really?? Indeed, there is a cost of opportunity for successful people, but there is no need to fail in any dimension to have awesome success. Indeed, truly successful people are those who are able to invest in their spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social well-being while pursuing his or her dreams.

Invest in what matters most. What matters most is what you value. Do your goals reflect what you value? Is your strategy for success congruent with your values? If an activity is not compatible with your values and does minimal to further the pursuit of your goal(s), it needs to be eliminated. There is no time in the day for that which is contrary to your goals and values—to your mission!

Carpe momento!

“Teaching is not about delivering content. That is a given. It is about drastically changing lives! Miss that and you miss the point”—Coyte Cooper

As a college professor, my career focus has shifted over the last eighteen-plus years. Early on it was all about content (or at least it seemed to be). I was shaping lectures to cram as much content into my students’ heads, hoping that the majority would stick. For the purposes of tenure and promotion, university professors are evaluated on three areas: scholarship, teaching, and service. These are measured in terms of publications, teaching evaluations, and committee work.

Now that I am tenured (for the second time) and have been promoted to the rank of Professor, there is less need to document these. As I enter into my 19^th year as a university professor, I am reevaluating my efforts. For one thing, my income is no longer affected by my performance (or lack thereof) in these areas. I could publish 10 articles a year in high-impact professional peer-reviewed journals, and I will get the same annual increase as my colleague—as the collective bargaining agreement dictates. I can get good or bad evaluations—and I can justify them, if I need to—but no one is going to really pay great attention. I can add to or take away from my committee work with little notice. In other words, I have earned the right to coast—so to speak.

Other the years, though, my greatest job satisfaction has come in the success of my students. It is rewarding to see my students become successful doctors, physician assistants, nurses, physical/occupational therapists, athletic trainers, personal trainer, and strength coaches, as well as a host of other careers. This is great, but what I have found is that my greater reward is in seeing my students become leaders—to see them become spouses, parents, and genuinely good people. I can teach all the content in the world, but so can a book, Google, and YouTube (O.K., the latter of these are a bit more tongue-in-cheek, but nonetheless a source of “knowledge” for people). In reality, with the Internet, teaching has changed—or should change. Most anyone has access to information. I can study medicine online (again, being a bit sarcastic). So, what, now is my role as a teacher?

I believe Coyte captures this question quite well. The role of teacher has become one of changing lives. This has, of course, always been the role of teachers, but I believe the opportunity better presents itself in the present age. Education can become more than simply delivery content. We teachers—particularly college professors—can focus on shaping worldviews.

Now, when I say a teacher should shape worldviews, I don’t mean that teachers should be god and create others in his/her image. Rather, teachers need to allow students to process information and shape that student’s own worldview—ideal one that is shaped “better” than the views of one’s collective faculty. In other words, as a professor, I need to prepare my students to challenge present thought and to seek better thoughts. Thus, teachers should, themselves, have a worldview that is evolving.

All of us, whether teacher or of some other profession, should be seeking to have an impact on the lives we touch. When we interact with another individual, both persons should walk away better in some way for the communication.

Being a person of impact requires personal growth. If we are not ourselves seeking to become better, we cannot expect to lead others to grow. A seed, after all, cannot grow in barren soil.

Whatever your profession and wherever you might be in your career, make it your purpose to have a positive impact on the lives you touch.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23, NIV).

The Christian faith teaches that these are the fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I only recall this ever being taught as something that you will receive, if you believe and receive God’s Holy Spirit. I was always taught that these are a gift, i.e., the “gift of the Holy Spirit”.

Somewhere along the line—and relatively recently—I realized that this is not what the verses say. The writer of the letter to the Galatians, Paul, does not say or imply this. Rather the writer states: “the fruit of the spirit is…”. Nowhere does he write the “gift of the spirit is…”. What I have come to realize is that these are desirable qualities that I must develop—that I must cultivate. I have discovered that the presence (or absence) of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in my heart is my responsibility.

Whatever your beliefs, these are qualities that we should want to develop. Unfortunately, for most of us, these do not come easily. In fact, there are times when I feel as though I lack these completely.

I find the idea of cultivation helpful. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control take effort. They require care and nurturing. They are a product of refinement.

Cultivation can be defined as “the process of trying to acquire or develop a quality or skill.” In botanical terms, fruit is a seed-bearing product of a flowering plant. This brings a deeper association of the term with the process of growth. On a minimal level, cultivation develops the qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, which alone is great; but, fruit bears seed, and seed bears more fruit. Hence, our efforts to grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control result in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in others—which, in turn, bears more fruit.

The notion of bearing fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) fits well with the notion that the Emotional dimension is the keystone of the wellness pyramid. We certainly lay a foundation with the Spiritual and Physical dimensions, and we build upon these with the Intellectual dimension; but, Emotional well-centeredness is crucial to moving to healthy relationships in the Social dimension. These “fruit” are cultivated by first understanding the need to have such fruit in our lives and relationships. Once such an understanding is had, the desire needs to be present to put the effort toward growth. With desire must come the will, and practice follows will.

These are not easy fruit to cultivate. It takes practice. Ironically, it takes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It takes a seed.

The fruit, however, is worth the effort. As one’s life bears fruit, it, in turn, provides the seed for growth in others.

Cultivation of fruit trees requires pruning—cutting away dead and unproductive branches to increase growth and fruitfulness. Pruning comes from within and without. Ideally, we are conscious of our or shortcomings and weaknesses and make efforts to self-prune. Invariably, our shortcomings and weaknesses will be exposed by others—in the most and least gracious of ways. As we are pruned, we allow for the nutrients of growth to be focused on the areas of strength—of good fruit—and grow these further.

It gives me hope for myself to recognize that I can cultivate the qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I don’t have to wait for these to be miraculously bestowed upon me (or question my faith because they have not been). I have to resolve daily to make the effort to love, to have joy, to make/be peace, to be patient, to be kind, to be good, to be faithful, to be gentle, and, above all, to practice self-control. I have to have a growth plan and follow through.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”—Benjamin Franklin

Intellectual wellness refers to one’s active participation in academic and cultural to activities for the purpose of gaining knowledge. One who is pursuing Intellectual “well-centeredness” values and nurtures creativity and curiosity and pursues lifelong learning. “Open-minded” describes the well-centered person.

The well-centered individual understands that he or she has a very limited worldview—or understanding of the universe, for that matter. As such, the mind of the well-centered person is life a sponge, absorbing all the knowledge one can.

The analogy of a sponge is limited, however. A sponge is relatively passive—that is, pumps water though itself, thus, relying the water coming to it. [Considering a dead sponge, i.e., like the sponge might have in the kitchen for cleaning, it is, likewise, passive—relying on someone directing it to the liquid to be absorbed.]

The well-centered person, unlike the living and dead sponge, makes a concerted effort to seek out and absorb knowledge. The sitting in a classroom because one has to be there or learning by happenstance (e.g., hearing something on the radio or television), without actively pursuing the information, is not acting to become more Intellectually well-centered.

The well-centered individual pursues opportunities to learn and, thus, improve one’s self. The well-centered person is an avid reader. He/she listens to podcasts and watched television, not just for the entertainment, but also for the educational opportunity.

Intellectual well-centeredness involves a liberal education beyond the classroom. A liberal education is often ignored in this age of specialization. College students might take their general education classes, but too often with an attitude of “I have to be here.” Beyond the educational systems, which are too often checkmarks on the way to a career, we need to be pursuant of knowledge in a broad range of topics.

I value the education I had as a child. Not only did I participate in sports, but I also acted in school plays and participated in art and music. I have little talent for singing or playing a musical instrument. Nevertheless, I played Charlie Bates in the high school production of Oliver! when I was in the 6^th grade, and I tried to learn the drums in 7^th grade and the tuba in 8^th grade (Mr. Leo Yagello—A.K.A. Lee Kelton—was so patient in trying to teach me the drums and tuba in 7^th and 8^th grades. I am pretty sure he offered to teach me a tuba only because there were three instruments and four students playing the instrument, so I would never have to perform publicly. I got B’s in band, most likely, because my older sister has a favorite of his.)

One of my fond memories of childhood was taking art classes Saturday mornings at Carnegie Museum in Pittsburgh. I was one of two children selected from my elementary school. Classes were early. My dad would drop me off and pick me up a couple of hours later. I would change into my football uniform in the car in the Liberty Tunnels on the way to Little League football. My parents always made sure that sports were well-balanced with the arts.   Football and wrestling became my passion in high school, but I never lost an interest in the artistic side of life. Broadway musicals were as much a part of my upbringing as the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Education was important, as well. Perhaps this is why I have a Ph.D. But, higher education aside, I recognize the value of continuing education—“continuing”, not to be confused with “Continued Education” offered at universities and community colleges, because it is an ongoing attitude of learning.

One of the best ways in which one can seek Intellectual well-centeredness is through the habit of daily reading. Successful people are readers. It really doesn’t matter what one reads. The important thing is that one reads regularly.

Read daily. Schedule time to read and keep reading materials readily available. I love my iPad for the library I can carry with me. I have numerous books and hundreds of journal articles available on my device. I am never lacking for reading material.

We are, unfortunately, easily distracted from reading. There is television, Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, YouTube, etc. to divert our attention. So, one must be purposeful in scheduling time to read and to make it a regular daily activity. This is not to say that there is no value in television and YouTube—these can be great sources of information when used purposefully and, sometimes, our mind just needs a break. What one does not want to do is get distracted by kitty videos and suddenly find their day wasted.

Set a time and goal for reading. Thirty minutes is a reasonable amount of time. Time should be blocked off in your schedule. Remove any potential distractions—e.g., shut off the phone, turn of the television, close the door, etc. Determine an objective for reading, such as a book a month. Don’t be finicky about what you read. Just read!

Knowledge is so easily obtained in the Information Age. Google and the Internet have made information just a click away. We should take advantage. Take every opportunity to learn!

I can’t help but recall the advertisement campaign from years ago: “Reading is fundamental.” We should take head and read.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

The title here is a little tongue-in-cheek. I often comment about how annoying I find these “(Insert number—usually 5)” lists of things you should/should not be eating or exercises you should/should not be doing, etc. Most are nonsense, particularly when you consider that they are published in magazine or blogs that offered a different list the week before. So, this is not an absolute list, but I am going to offer three activities, i.e., habits, that I find helpful in keeping one “well-centered.”

As I wrote recently, as I have considered the dimensions of well-centered fitness: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social, I have come to see these as not only circular—that is, interdependent and of equal importance—but also stacked like a pyramid.   Forming the base of the pyramid is the Spiritual and Physical dimensions.   These are the heart and the core of who we are and what shapes us as a person. Without Spiritual and Physical health, we cannot possibly grow in the other dimensions. The next building block in the pyramid is the Intellectual dimension. Knowledge is discerned according our Spiritual and Physical foundation, but also fuels our further growth in these areas. On top of the Intellectual, we build our Emotional dimension. This again feeds down and further grows the other dimensions. At the peak of the pyramid is the Social dimension—our interactions and relationships with other. Relationships cannot be healthy without the solid foundation of the other dimensions. At the same time, it is the social nature of our being that drives growth in the other dimensions. Hence, our well-centeredness is three-dimensions. Our dimensions build upon one another, but are, at the same time dependent upon the others for growth. So, the habits we shape are critical to the balance in our lives.

So, the 3 things you should start doing TODAY are:

1. Journal.

Journaling is one of the daily disciplines that help keep one on track with growing themselves and accomplishing one’s goals. Ideally, this is done first thing in the morning to set the course for the day. I have discussed journaling before (and will likely discuss it further in the future). We live in an age where everything is hurried and we communicate electronically in truncated thoughts. While some might prefer to type into a journal, I am still more “old school” and prefer pen and paper. This helps me engage more with the thoughts I am processing in my head.

In short, journaling is private time during which one explores one’s ideas, goals, values, concerns, etc.—pretty much anything that is going on in one’s head. In my opinion, the most crucial element of journaling is that it be positive. Even if one is anxious and frustrated, the journal entry should work toward putting a more positive twist of what concerns him/her.

If you are not journaling, try it. Don’t worry about what you should or should not include. Just start. Write and let your thoughts carry you. Over time, your approach will evolve, and the process will grow increasingly rewarding.

2. Exercise.

Do I really have to tell you to do this?

Exercise and increased physical activity can, perhaps, be the most important health decision you make, today. Exercise is a case where more is always better (up to a point—but, face it, unless you are a professional athlete and spending the better part of your day in the gym, you are not overdoing exercise). True you might do too much of the wrong stuff and get hurt or over-train, but it is not likely that you are doing too much. In fact, you are probably struggling to do enough. So, begin by setting aside some time and do what you are able. Remember: opportunity cost.

Schedule exercise into your day. Do something. Now, I don’t buy into the programs marketing “4-minute”, “7-minute”, “12-minute”, etc. workouts (as being all you need to do). If your time is that limited (and, if you really look as how you are spending your day, it is not), then these are better than nothing, though realize that the gains will be minimal (nowhere near as pronounced as the “professionals” proclaim). Doing something will get your started and begin to build habits. As exercise becomes a routine, doing it better becomes easier.

3. Drink water.

Drinking water throughout the day can help develop discipline that will aid in developing other growth habits. Try drinking 8 ounces of water every waking hour. If you sleep for 8 hours, then you are awake for 16 hours. Sixteen 8-ounce glasses of water is one gallon of hydration. Breaking hydration up into small servings makes it easier to drink ample fluids. Setting a timer on drinking water takes discipline. Building discipline takes practice. It takes action. So, drinking water at regular intervals is not only healthy, but it can also help you establish the discipline create other essential habits.

So, here you have them. The three most important things you can do today. (I could have made it five by including reading for 30 minutes and engaging in a “15-minute check-in” with your spouse or partner, but baby steps.”

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.”–Jim Rohn

Change. What is stopping you? Even a tree can grow in the midst of great obstacles—we’ve all seen trees growing on rock cliffs; trees sprout in the smallest of cracks in the pavement—albeit limited to the environmental conditions (i.e., the “tree line”).

Like the tree, our growth is limited by our environmental conditions. Unlike the tree, however, we have the capacity to change our environment. Unfortunately, this takes effort—perhaps, at times, what seems to be an impossible amount of effort.

Our only limitation, as human beings, is our willingness to try. Period.

We are either too fearful, too doubtful of our own abilities, too overwhelmed by the problems and challenges in our lives, or we reason that what we dream is impossible. We are afraid to change. We succumb to that most debilitating word: “can’t”. We procrastinate. We hesitate. We worry about things. We try for a while and quit. We think someone else needs to change first. We blame. We point fingers. We cry foul. We avoid taking responsibility for ourselves. We allow ourselves to be dependent on others. We just suck at self-improvement. We accept that this is way we are supposed to be. We accept that this is the way things are supposed to be. Nonsense!

Life is to be evolutionary. A pool of water that is motionless and never refreshed grows stagnant. Stagnant water is most dangerous. Thus is a stagnant life. We need constant refreshing. We need to be fed. We need to be growing.

Are you stagnant? Are you avoiding change? If so, ask yourself “why?” Don’t be a tree that grows where it is seeded and succumbs to circumstances.   Create for yourself the environment that will allow you to thrive. Be fearless. Be certain. Be confident. Be irrational. Change!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“Discipline doesn’t enable you to do things.  Doing things consistently makes you disiplined.”–Joshua Spodek

Yesterday, I listened to Jim Harshaw’s (http://jimharshawjr.com/58/) interview with Josh Spodek (http://joshuaspodek.com). Josh Spodek talked about a practice he has coined: “SIDCHA” (pronounced: sid-cha). A SIDCHA is a self-imposed daily challenging healthy activity. Spodek, for example, does twice-daily burpees (>70,000 to date).

The concept of SIDCHA is really nothing novel, but I like that it gives a name to an idea that can have great benefit. SIDCHA help one develop willpower and discipline.

SIDCHA is suited to the concept of “well-centered fitness.” We want to be building habits over time that benefit us in all aspects of our lives—beyond simply physical health or well-being.

We know that habits form with consistency and usually require more than 30 days to solidify. Habits are also difficult at the onset. They take planning and scheduling. They take commitment. So, the simple practice of SIDCHA can benefit us in our long-term success.

I have heard several athletes (e.g., past Olympian wrestler, Jake Herbert) express the benefits of habitual water consumption—drinking water as a conscious habit rather than more periodically/irregularly drinking only when thirsty. This is not only healthy—drinking 8 ounces on the hour every waking hour is roughly 128 oz. or a gallon of water—but it also adds focus and structure to the day.

Other examples of SIDCHAs can be: daily journaling, regular scheduled/planned exercise, meditation, etc. Relationally, the (near daily) habit of my “15-minute check-in” with my wife does wonders for keeping us connected and communicating. The key is not so much in the what as the why. According to Josh Spodek, “If you want discipline, do things that need discipline.”

In selection of activities that will build self-disciple, facilitate our well-centeredness, and develop life-long habits, it is helpful to use the SIDCHA approach:

• Self-Imposed: To develop self-disciple, have to choose to do it. Doing something that you are compelled by another to do is coercion, not discipline.
• Daily: Some activities might not necessarily be done daily to have an effect (e.g., one might only exercise habitually 3-4 times), but I think one should choose at lease one SIDCHA that can be done daily.
• Challenging: If it is not hard, it won’t benefit you, per se. Brushing one’s teeth might qualify as a SIDCHA because one should brush (twice) daily, but, hopefully, this is not challenging for you (like it might be for my eight year-old).
• Healthy: The activity one selects must be something that improves one’s health or well-being. I recommend taking on the dimensions of well-centered fitness (spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social) one at a time—each for a minimum of 30 days—and stacking, i.e., adding to, as the habits form.
• Activity: Proper SIDCHAs involve physically do something. Napping, for example, while having some health benefits, does not fit the bill—after all, how challenging is napping? Setting aside a 15-minute period for meditation involves action. Meditation, though, should be purposeful and not simply sitting with one’s eyes closed and allowing one’s thoughts to wander.

So, I encourage you. Select your SIDCHA and grow your discipline.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“Every minute spent on negative thoughts is a minute that could have been spent on pursuing your dreams.”—Coyte Cooper

Today in my Fundamentals of High Performance meeting with Coyte Cooper (www.coytecooper.com) and my cohort group, we discussed the Psychology of Change and the barriers to change: the crazy clutter, limiting beliefs, and clarity on implications. I know that eliminating the “crazy clutter” is a necessity for my success. I touched on this in my post titled “Take the garbage out.” As well, I feel I have pretty good clarity on the implications. (Though, in addressing this aspect of behavioral change, I realized that maybe some of what I have listed as high priority goals are merely action steps or essential habits to more significant goals and that I need to address the “whys” of these goals and consider what I am really wanting with these.) What I realized today is that I really haven’t considered my limiting beliefs—at least for some time and with significant attention.

I learned of one of my biggest limiting beliefs about the time my wife and I were preparing to get married. We enrolled in a couples workshop based on the book Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix. In one of the exercises, we were asked to list the negative talk we heard growing up. I honestly had trouble thinking of any. If anything, my parents were overly supportive (if parents can be as such), but….

My parents had married very young and from the start did not have a solid relationship. I have no fault with either of them and consider the circumstances into which I was born to be a blessing. [I am a firm believer that one is given the circumstances (and, perhaps, parents) in his/her life that will lead one to his/her intended Purpose.] As it was, they divorced, and it was a brutal separation. So, in that workshop, when I was asked to consider the negative talk that I heard growing up, the only thing that came to mind was “You are just like your father.”

Now, it took me a long time to realize that my mother did not mean this is a way of demeaning me. It was really just an expression of hurt, and, in hindsight, I realized that my appearance and personality was a daily reminder to her of my father and the pain of a failed relationship. I don’t believe she said it with any ill-intent; but, subconsciously, it negated anything positive that anyone had ever said about me. So, despite all the positive talk and encouragement, I began to believe that I was the summation of all my father’s faults.

After processing this revelation for many years, I have come to realize that I have focused only on my faults and not on the characteristics that I share with and admire in my father. My father has done some awesome things. He has changed businesses as a management consultant; he has written and published books; he has acted in a number of television shows and movies; and much more. Unfortunately, he has never quite reached the brass ring—or at least that was my perception.

My father dreams big. And when you dream big you often fall short. So, whenever I have dreamed big, I have tended to have “you are just like your father” in the back of my mind. My subconscious translated this as “you are going to fall short of your dreams so don’t talk big.” The thing is, my dad has done things many would never attempt. He once tried out for the Pittsburgh Steelers with no high school or college football experience. He actually made it to camp. How awesome is that! After retiring and moving to New York, he decided to try acting. He had done some stage acting and stand-up comedy in his younger years, but nothing really big time. In New York, he quickly earned his SAG card and found frequent work as an extra. He was a regular on Law and Order: Criminal Intent and was called back often to a number of other shows. He was cast in a number of movies and even had some lines in some popular movies (though they were cut in final production). Who does this? Who has the guts to step out like this and try amazing things?

I am immensely proud of my dad—and my mother, too. (I would not want anyone to think that I am painting her to be a villain, here.) Mistakenly, I have managed for too many years to put that small difference between success and grand success on myself and allow this to become a limiting belief.

This is, of course, not my only limiting belief. I could easily go on—and on. Today, I just want to encourage the reader to consider the thoughts that limit him/her. Identify from where it is these come, and address them. Flipping them is key.

Stop dwelling on what you perceive to be holding you back. Get a perspective on what is before you. Don’t focus on the probability of failure. Focus on the probability of success and the key action steps you need to accomplish your dreams. You can do more than you think you can. You can certainly do more than others think you can!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

According to Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantra), “a ‘Mantra’ is a sacred utterance, a numinous sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and spiritual powers (that) may or may not have syntactic structure or literal meaning.”

While a mantra can be a word or sound repeated in meditation, it can be, simply, a statement or phrase one repeats frequently. It can be a daily affirmation or a phrase that gives one focus.

Daily meditation is a practice that I have never quite mastered. I journal daily (most days) and this gives me some level of meditation and reflection. Journaling helps me focus to start the day, but focus is often quickly lost—especially as I enter traffic in my daily commute. I strive to get better at “hitting the pause button”, as Jim Harshaw calls it, and just shutting out the crap going on around me and centering myself. When I do set aside 15 minutes or so in the day for “prayerful meditation and reflection”, I find my mind often drifts, and I am not effectively using the time. I am working on this.

Reciting a daily mantra can help. I end my morning journal entry with the same two phrases every morning: “To God be the glory” and “Grace and Peace”. I try to let these set the tone for the day, but….

I have been considering the notion of mantras lately. I realize that there are four statements that I use a lot in my writing that reflect my desire to be more centered spiritually, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially. These are:

“I am third.”

“Grace and Peace.”

“Be your best today; be better tomorrow.”

“Carpe momento.”

I am sure there are better phrases I could select, but these have meaning for me. They serve both as daily affirmations and daily reminders of the person I want to be.

“I am third” comes from the book with the same title by Gale Sayers. I have an autographed copy that I have read numerous times over the last 40+ years. The premise of “I am third” is that my God is first, my family and friends are second, and I am third. My greatest weakness is that I am inherently selfish. When I get frustrated and mad it is usually (when I really admit it to myself) because my ego has been bruised. This will likely be a theme for a future post, so I won’t dwell on it here. This phrase, however, is one that I like to have before me to remind me of the importance of my spiritual and social dimensions and of why I put effort into the physical, intellectual, and emotional dimensions.

“Grace and Peace” comes from the greetings that begin all the letters from the Apostle, Paul. They reflect the attitude with which I should (though rarely do) approach others. I try, especially when I know that I am walking into a tenuous situation, to repeat these words prior to interactions with persons who tend to frustrate me. I say, “I try.” This is not as regular as I would prefer. Too often it is an after thought, so I keep working at making it a regular “mantra”.

“Be your best today; be better tomorrow” began more as a marketing phrase I used when I owned a performance sports training facility and as a motivator for my son in youth sports. It is a phrase that I use often in my writing, but it also serves as self-motivator. I begin my day with this as a goal, but I need to remind myself throughout the day.

“Carpe momento” (seize the moment) is, of course, a theme of this blog. It evolved from my use of carpe diem (seize the day) as an effort to add emphasis (my dad, rightfully, didn’t like “carpe friggin’ diem”, and I couldn’t find a creative alternative). To me it emphasizes the importance of the here-and-now. It tells me to be present in the moment. It tells me to be fully engaged with others and to take action. It is a reminder of the immediacy living an (extra)ordinary and successful life.

I am new to the mantra-thing—at least to making a concerted effort to recite daily mantras. It is said, “practice makes perfect.” So, let’s get at this!

I encourage the reader to find his/her manta phrases and keep them at them before you. Post them where you regularly see them. Recite them often. Keep focused and do (extra)ordinary things today!

Be your best today; and be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

Feel free to share your mantas with me in the comments. I’d love to hear from you (and know that people actually read this!).

Grace & Peace.

“It doesn’t matter how much you want. What really matters is how much you want it. The extent and complexity of the problem does not matter was much as does the willingness to solve it.”–Ralph Marston

We all have goals in life. We should have goals in our lives. But are these really goals or are they mere wishes?

What differentiates a goal from a wish? DETERMINATION!!

Do you get up in the morning with the same desire for things to get better, or do you wake up with a plan to make things better?

I tell my children all the time that “Can’t never did anything.” Likewise, it is my desire for them to know that they can do whatever they aspire to do. Will is a powerful ally.

Certainly one will make the argument the “’Can’t never did anything’ does not apply to….” Ah, but impossible rarely applies. Perhaps doing will be hard and no one has done it, but the only thing stopping us from doing the “impossible” is the willingness to try.

I love the story about Craig Dietz, a Pittsburgh attorney born with no arms or legs. Someone forgot to tell him that a man in his condition cannot swim. If someone did, he failed to listen, because he manages to swim some impressive distances.

The stories of success in the face of “insurmountable” odds are limitless. Check out Kyle Maynard, the first quadruple amputee to ascend Mount Kilimanjaro without the aid of prosthetics (also finished 12th as a wrestler in the 103-pound weight class at the National High School Wrestling Championships; or Anthony Robles, who concluded his Arizona State wrestling career with a record of 122-23 and was a three-time Pac-10 wrestling champion, as well as a three-time All-American; or…the list goes on.

Indeed, the only limits to success are in our minds. If we desire something, the question we need to ask ourselves is “what is stopping me?” Once our limitations are identifies, we need only determine to overcome them. It is easy to see what is stopping us. Our greatest challenge is to believe we can.

To what do you aspire? Is it a wish, or have you made the decision to accomplish it no matter the obstacles?

Carpe momento!