“You don’t get unity by ignoring the questions that have to be faced.”—Jay Weatherall
There is something seriously lacking in our society–communication. We are divided on so many levels—race, religion, education, politics, income, gender, etc. Protests and political memes are the norm. Texting and emailing when there is a person sitting next to you or across the table. Voicing opinion, but not taking the time to LISTEN.
Three phrases from my Christian faith come to mind: “love your enemy”, “communion”, and “breaking bread”. What problems might be solved if we really considered these simple concepts?
We are so ingrained to hate our enemy. We are increasingly becoming a dichotomous society—us v. them. To love one’s enemy, however, is not to surrender in weakness. Rather, it is to show strength in conflict. It is “seek first to understand and then to be understood” according to Stephen Covey. It is not taking a beating, but understanding why someone wants to hit you in the first place. Yes, it is hard, and it might not lead, ultimately, to a peaceful resolution, but the chances are better for peace and a lasting solution when we do.
Communion is a common sacrament in the Christian faith. Unfortunately, we don’t take the exercise beyond our religious practice. Communion is defined as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a mental or spiritual level” (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/communion). We just don’t challenge ourselves to open up and share our thoughts and feelings. Instead, we post them in all capital letters on our social media and get upset when someone disagrees. This is not communion. Nor is this community which is derived from the same Latin root (communis).
Breaking bread is simply sitting at the table together and sharing a meal. It saddens me to go to a restaurant (or any public place) and see a group of people sitting at a table on their phones. Why??! We are missing the opportunity for community. The cost of this lost opportunity is division. When we distance ourselves from the people across or beside us, we make it that much easier to ignore the others across the room, across town, and across the globe.
Our society is deeply in need of a global potluck! We need to get together and share. We need to feel free to disagree. Indeed, we need to welcome disagreement. It is from dissention that new ideas are born. Yes, we risk offending and being offended, but offense is an opportunity for mutual growth and understanding.
We often describe ourselves, politically, as “conservative” or “progressive”. I find neither label particularly helpful or truthful. “Conservative” implies unwilling to change. “Progressive” implies an intellectual superiority. “Progressive” can actually be “regressive” when not open to understanding the opposition. When we stand steadfast in our beliefs and worldview, we are never open to growth and real progress.
I have described “well-centered fitness” as an asymptote—a goal that is never wholly achievable. Social progress is no different. We always have room for growth. Progress, however, should be toward unity, not further separation. Progress should be the pursuit of social justice.
We will never solve our problems by pushing ourselves apart and being offended that someone’s opinion doesn’t match ours. Dare to be offended and to offend. Do so, not out of hate, but out of love. We might just be surprised by the outcome. ‘Cause, after all, how well is the current approach working?
“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.”—Mattie Stepanek