“Only when the steel and velvet are adequately developed together does a man become truly great.”—Aubrey Andelin
I am writing this in the morning before my conversation with Brad Pankey for the Modern Masculinity Project. Since he invited me to participate, I have been listen to his other conversations and interjecting my own thoughts and feelings into the conversations. I have been thinking about my life, my relationship with my parents, my marriage, and my parenting skills (or lack thereof). I am honestly excited and anxious for our conversation.
A book that I have read countless times keeps coming to mind. I dusted off my yellowing and tattered copy of Man of Steel and Velvet, by Dr. Aubrey Andelin and decided to gift it to Brad. It was first published in 1972 and is written from a strongly biblical and Christian perspective. It is not the whole of my personal definition of masculinity, but its influence is quite visible in my life. No doubt, this will be evident in my conversation later this morning.
Andelin discusses the two sides to true manhood. He lists the qualities of steel (1. guide, protector, provider, 2. builder of society, 3. masculinity, 4. character, 5. confidence, and 6. health) and velvet (1. understands women, 2. gentleness, 3. attentiveness, 4. youthfulness, 5. humility, and 6. refinement) that, “Makes women and children feel secure. Arouses admiration of all. Makes women feel womanly.” and “Promotes good relationships among all people. Awakens love in women and children.”, respectively. These are traits that I strive to develop. They are also qualities, also, that in no way diminish the role of women in society. In my opinion, they are traits that are being suppressed in society, leading to the #MeToo movement, a rape culture on campuses, school shootings, gang violence, and the oppression of women.
I am excited for the conversations that Brad is leading. We need to addressing these qualities and what it means to be human.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!