There is a saying in the sport of wrestling that “there are no losers, only winners and learners”. This does not mean that wrestling is an “everyone gets a trophy” sport. (Wrestling is perhaps the only sport with “blood time”.) It is a sport where there is far more failure (i.e., learning than success). There is value in failure.
We seem to be fast becoming a society that is bent on denying young people the opportunity to fail. We don’t keep score in certain youth sports (which is certainly fine in the early developmental years). We have succumbed to the practice of passing kids through the educational system despite not having developed the necessary skills and content knowledge (presumably, the habits that correspond to learning and employability will someday magically appear). Personally, I am quite bothered by this.
Failure is important for one’s personal growth and development. Maybe my understanding of emotional and educational development are clouded by my emphasis on physiology, but the brain is physiology and the emotional well-being would seem to be only as fragile as we allow it to be. I view life from a “well-centered fitness” perspective—the principle of progressive overload apply to one’s Spiritual, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social development, as well as Physical development. There is no growth without failure.
In life, failure teaches us that there are consequences to our actions. Denying one the opportunity to fail suggest that there are no consequence. As my son has learned as he transitions from eighth-grade to high school: “Why put in the effort when the reward is the same whether you do your best work or your worst?”
We recently celebrated the 75th anniversary of D-Day. I can’t help but wonder if the Allied Forces could have pulled off the same mission with the youth of today. We certainly have a military with the same grit and determination, but the numbers are not near what was necessary to storm the beaches of Normandy. Could we possible find the necessary numbers a population of young who have rarely experienced failure—especially from among those who have been parented by lawnmower parents and who run to “safe spaces” at the slightest offense? (I am not putting down our young people, by the way. I put the blame wholly on the parents, educators, and society who have robbed these young people of their resilience. I take my own responsibility.)
I believe it is time to take a step back and examine the effect we are having on our young people and society by removing the obstacles to “success”. I believe should personally lean into challenged that reveal our own weaknesses so that we might be strengthened. Today’s “best” is only our current “best”—and it is only “best” if we push ourselves to the limits of our capabilities. I remind myself to “be your best today; be better tomorrow” because I know there is always space to grow and to improve myself (a lot of space). If I don’t fail, I don’t see how I can improve.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!