Month: November 2017

There have been quite a few high-profile people exposed for sexual impropriety recently.  It seems like the dominoes are starting to fall.  Sadly, all we are hearing are half-hearted apologies and denials.  I have seen comments that certain of these men have shown courage for apologizing.  I would argue that it takes very little courage to apologize after one has been exposed.  In addition, the organizations that have harbored these men (in many cases, for decades) seem to take no responsibility.  How these can claim that they were unaware is beyond comprehension.  The reality is that we must all take ownership.

Matt Lauer was just fired from NBC’s Today Show following accusations of “inappropriate sexual behavior”.  Now, I do believe that one is innocent until proven guilty.  There seems, however, to be overwhelming evidence of his guilt, as NBC was very quick to terminate him.  Apparently, Variety and The New York Times were investigating Lauer and that may have prompted NBC to act.  Sadly, if other news organizations were aware of his behavior, it is incomprehensible that NBC was not.  Clearly, two things should have happened in light of the Variety and NY Times revelations.  First, Lauer, himself, should have come forward.  If he is innocent, he has nothing to hide.  He should have owned the accusations, apologized, and professed to the world that such behavior is unacceptable.  Second, NBC needs to take ownership.  Someone needs to admit that such behavior was allowed and tolerated.

Women are finally finding the strength to stand against those who have persisted in making unwanted advances and worse in the workplace.  Some may be wrongfully accused, but there is no doubt that countless women have be harassed and assaulted in the workplace—in places where they should feel safe.  My heart hurts for these women.  Moreover, my anger boils for those who have allowed it to happen.

We who observe inappropriate behavior in the workplace must speak up.  Organizations who have stood silent are equally at fault.  Acting, now, only because they are threatened, is no sign of righteousness.  If we are to be at all redeemed for our complicity, we must take ownership.  We must admit that we turned a blind eye to the impropriety and a deaf ear to the cries for help. We must own it and act to make a difference today.

I was taught many years ago to “avoid the appearance of evil”.  In other words, conduct yourself in such a way as to give nothing to your would-be accusers.  If we act as such and avoid situations in which we can be without a strong defense against false accusations, we cannot be wrongly accused.

We have to be upright in our treatment of others.  We cannot believe it is appropriate to sexually harass another.   Moreover, we must speak out when we observe others act inappropriately.

This has not been a usual post for me, but something that I needed to get off my chest (and remind myself).

Be your best today (for others); be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

To follow the sharing of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”, yesterday, I must share the lyrics of a song popularized by the Carter Family.  It is important that we choose happiness—and choose the sunny (i.e., bright) side of life.  It is always good there.

“Keep on the Sunny Side”

Well there’s a dark and a troubled side of life
There’s a bright and a sunny side too
But if you meet with the darkness and strife
The sunny side we also may view

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way
If we keep on the sunny side of life

Oh, the storm and its fury broke today
Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear
Clouds and storms will in time pass away
The sun again will shine bright and clear

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way
If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life

Let us greet with a song of hope each day
Though the moments be cloudy or fair
Let us trust in our Savior always
To keep us, every one, in His care

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way
If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life

If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life

(Originally written by Ada Blenkhorn)

Carpe momento!

It is a harsh reality, but what we do in life—good or bad has consequences.  My first inclination is to say “get over it”, but that is a bit unsympathetic and not the best advice.  Instead, I say, “accept it”.  Accept it because it is what it is, and we cannot change it.  All we can do is move forward.

How we move forward determines our happiness or unhappiness.  Happiness is, after all, a choice.  If choose an external locus of control, we likely always be unhappy.  We will be blaming and full of excuses.  If, however, we take responsibility for our actions and their subsequent consequences, we will waste no energy blaming others and move on.

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune” (William James).  This is an important thought to remember when things don’t go our way.  Moreover, we need to understand that things happen for reasons that are often beyond our immediate understanding.  Experience has shown me to wait and to look for the reason.  If I take the approach of acceptance, most certainly the reason will reveal itself.  It may or may not have been for my benefit.  It may be for the benefit of another—which ultimately serves a greater purpose.  (This is Spiritual well-centeredness—to understand that we are not the center of the Universe and that our existence serves something greater than self.)

We saw a local high school production of Spamalot recently.  (Perhaps, this is what inspired me to write this?)  The song (that is also in Monty Python’s Life of Brian) comes to mind:

“Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”

Cheer up, Brian.

You know what they say;

Some things in life are bad,

They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and curse,

When you’re chewing on life’s gristle,

Don’t grumble, give a whistle,

And this’ll help things turn out for the best, hey,

Always look on the bright side of life,

Always look on the light side of life,

If life seems jolly rotten,

There’s something you’ve forgotten,

And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

When you’re feeling in the dumps,

Don’t be silly chumps,

Just purse you’re lips and whistle,

That’s the thing.

And, always look on the bright side of life,

Always look on the right side of life,

For life is quite absurd,

And death’s the final word,

You must always face the curtain with a bow,

Forget about your sin,

give the audience a grin,

Enjoy it, it’s your last chance of the hour.

So, always look on the bright side of death,

Just before you draw your terminal breath,

Life’s a piece o’ sh*t,

When you look at it,

Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true,

You’ll see it’s all a show,

Keep ’em laughing as you go,

Remember that the last laugh is on you.

And, always look on the bright side of life,

Always look on the right side of life,

Come on, Brian cheer up,

Always look on the bright side of life,

Always look on the right side of life,

Worse things happen at sea, you know,

Always look on the bright side of life,

I mean, what do you have to lose?

You come from nothing,

You go back to nothing.

What have you lost? Nothing!

Always look on the bright side of life.

(Written by Eric Idle)

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

There is a reason why none of us are the same.  We all have unique gifts, talents, and knowledge.  It is these differences that draw us together.

My son is interested in playing the guitar—something I have no gift for, but wish I did.  Because I don’t play the guitar, I have little knowledge in what is a “good” beginner guitar and what accessories he will need.  He asked for an electric guitar for Christmas.  He knew what he wanted (a black ESP LTD EC-256), but, at $399, I kinda choked.  Turns out it is a great buy for a beginner who is interested in classic and hard rock—apparently, the Les Paul style is favored by hard rockers.  (I never understood the basic shaped of electric guitars.  I always thought it was just for stage presence.)  Then, of course, he was going to need an amplifier….

Besides the Internet, I have a number of very talented friends to whom I can trust for advice.  I reached out, and I actually learned a lot—about guitars, amps, and my friends (some of whom I have not seen in decades).  I can’t tell the difference in sound between a Peavey and a Marshall.  I needed people who understood the subtleties.  Needless to say, I have learned a lot about electric guitars in the last few weeks.  Moreover, I learned the necessity of friends—especially friends who don’t necessarily share all of the same interests.

I am fortunate to have a diversity of friends across the globe.   It is these friendships that have taught me Spiritual well-centeredness over the years.  They teach me of our inter-connectedness and inter-dependence.  Sometimes, we connect over amplifiers.  In other, less fortunate circumstances, we connect in times of loss and tragedy.  The important thing is that we connect, stay connected, and be grateful for the relationships we share.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

(By the way, I settled on a used Marshall MG15DFX amp.  I was able to get it for the same price as a Peavey Backstage II or Marshall MG10CF, my top two choices.  Thanks to a friend’s recommendation, I spent hours—cumulatively, days—searching Reverb.com and Internet reviews.  I hope my son sticks with it.  I appreciate the balance in life—sports, art, and music.)

Image source: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/31jHulmGyWw/maxresdefault.jpg

Drs. Mike Israetel and James Hoffmann, in their book How Much Should I Train?, introduce several terms that are useful in understanding the adaptive processes in exercise.  I also find that they are analogous to the growth processes in life, as well.  These terms are: maximum recoverable volume, minimum effective volume, maximum adaptive volume, and maintenance volume.  The authors define these as follows:

Maximum Recoverable Volume (MRV): The highest volume of training an athlete can do in a particular situation and still recover.

Minimum Effective Volume (MEV): The lowest volume of training an athlete can do in a particular situation and still measurably improve.

Maximum Adaptive Volume (MAV): The amount of training that, in any one unit of time, yields the greatest adaptive response.

Maintenance Volume (MV): The lowest volume of training an athlete can do in a particular situation and still retain his/her abilities.

I will leave the reader to explore How Much Should I Train? on his or her own.  Here, I would like to interpret these within the well-centered fitness model.

Growth requires a stimulus.  Whether one is seeking Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, or Social growth, one must be sufficiently challenged.  Ideally, we want to see optimal growth across all dimensions over time.  (This is the nature of “well-centered fitness”—balance across the dimensions.) Often, however, there is not enough time and energy to put toward maximal growth in all dimensions at the same time.  I like to refer to this as “opportunity costs”—activity in any area of our lives comes at the cost of some other activity.  There are, after all, only 24 hours in any day.

To be growing, one needs to be putting an effort toward growth that is somewhere between the MEV and the MRV.  Typically, one will have greater focus on one dimension on any given day, but, overall, one is seeking to be centered across dimensions.  In other words, there cannot be too much emphasis on one dimension at the expense of the other dimensions—unless, of course, that one dimensions is totally out of whack.  (One should not, for example, neglect putting the greatest emphasis toward a failing marriage.)  In such a case, however, it is important for the individual to maintain the other dimensions (i.e., pursue the MV for these dimensions) as to not forfeit progress.

MAV is the maximal progress we make toward well-centeredness, given our circumstances.  It is the balance of our time spent, journaling, praying/meditating, exercising, reading, working, coaching, socializing, etc.  It is not enough to “be balanced”.  One can easily remain balanced hovering around the MV, but this is not growth.  One must manage his/her efforts at self-improvement.  MAV is kaizen (to use a term from business) or continual growth.  We will want to manage our time wisely to optimize our progress across all dimensions.

I hope to refine my thoughts on the application of these concepts to well-centered fitness over the coming weeks and months.  Personally, I need to zero in on my own “volumes” as I seek well-centeredness.  I hope the reader will join me.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

I hadn’t weighed my son in a while.  With his first wrestling tournament of the year on Sunday, I thought we had better check (on the eve of Thanksgiving).  The weight classes for Schoolboy jump from 136 lb to 149 lb.  He was 139 (after practice).  I am no fan of cutting weight at his age—and certainly not on the weekend of Thanksgiving.  Besides, he is going to do nothing but grow through the season.  So, it looks like he is going to be wrestling up this year and, possibly giving up 9 or 10 lb to his opponents.  Fortunately, he is used to practicing with teammates who are bigger and older.  I trust he will do well.

In life, it is not a challenge if it is bigger than we are.  There is no growth unless we take on what is at first bigger than what we can handle.  So, bring it on!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow means we might fail at first.  In life, as in wrestling, there are only winners and learners.  Seek the challenge.  Pursue growth.  Failing is not failure, unless we let it defeat us.  Success is the cue for greater challenges.

I am excited for the upcoming matches—my son’s, but my own, as well.  Carpe momento!

So, you over-indulged a bit yesterday?  That’s okay.  I did, too.  Today, though, is a new day.  Many will start a new fad diet that might shed a few pounds as a preemptive strike against the Christmas calories.  Christmas, of course, will be followed with New Year Resolutions and yet another cycle of dieting. Stop!

Begin today a new habit of responsible, healthy eating.  Exercise and begin making food choices that sustainable and permit the occasional indulgences.

Instead of getting up at some unreasonable hour to shop for specials and fight the crowds of insane shoppers (though I suspect some will be reading this too last, as it will be posted after the madness begins), take the time to get in a bit of extra physical activity.  Exercise and do a bit more HIIT/HIIRT than usual to burn a few extra calories, but also get a bit of extra recreational activity.  Go for a long walk.  Bike.  Move.

Avoid the guilt that you are certainly feeling for that display of gluttony at yesterday’s festivities.  It is too late to eat less yesterday.  Just be smart today, tomorrow, and the weeks to come.

Go a bit easier on the carbohydrates for a few days.  Keep the leftover desserts where they are less accessible.  If you feel the need to snack, snack on those foods which are more satisfying and less calorie dense.

Avoid alcohol.  Perhaps you had more than you usual during Thanksgiving?  No problem (unless it caused problems).  Now, for a while, just reduce the alcohol calories to spare calories for nutritive foods.  (I recommended avoiding the guilt of over-eating, but I didn’t say there wouldn’t be consequences!)

Get on track for the coming holiday temptations and have a plan.  Enjoy, but do so tempered by wisdom.

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and wish blessings to all!

Carpe momento!

Image source: https://fthmb.tqn.com/Ch0pBSaNS6VqtIwkB6sYnIMwO4M=/2122×1415/filters:no_upscale():fill(87E3EF,1)/GettyImages-100480412-56f9c1473df78c784194180b.jpg

Have a blessed and grateful day!

Carpe momento!

We walk on starry fields of white
   And do not see the daisies;
For blessings common in our sight
   We rarely offer praises.
We sigh for some supreme delight
   To crown our lives with splendor,
And quite ignore our daily store
   Of pleasures sweet and tender.

Our cares are bold and push their way
   Upon our thought and feeling.
They hand about us all the day,
   Our time from pleasure stealing.
So unobtrusive many a joy
   We pass by and forget it,
But worry strives to own our lives,
   And conquers if we let it.

There’s not a day in all the year
   But holds some hidden pleasure,
And looking back, joys oft appear
   To brim the past’s wide measure.
But blessings are like friends, I hold,
   Who love and labor near us.
We ought to raise our notes of praise
   While living hearts can hear us.

Full many a blessing wears the guise
   Of worry or of trouble;
Far-seeing is the soul, and wise,
   Who knows the mask is double.
But he who has the faith and strength
   To thank his God for sorrow
Has found a joy without alloy
   To gladden every morrow.

We ought to make the moments notes
   Of happy, glad Thanksgiving;
The hours and days a silent phrase
   Of music we are living.
And so the theme should swell and grow
   As weeks and months pass o’er us,
And rise sublime at this good time,
   A grand Thanksgiving chorus.

 

Image: https://c.tadst.com/gfx/750w/thanksgiv-day.jpg?1

We tend, when we celebrate Thanksgiving, to reflect back to the Pilgrims and the “first Thanksgiving”.  Historical discussions and political arguments aside, Thanksgiving is less a holiday to celebrate the past and more of a holiday to celebrate the present.  Gratitude is for today.  Thanksgiving celebrates what we have, not what we had.

We tend to either be looking back or looking forward.  Rarely do we pause to just enjoy the moment.

This Thanksgiving, take the opportunity to just enjoy the present.  Don’t stress trying to please others or have the “perfect” Thanksgiving.  If you have little, don’t dwell on what you don’t have (for most Americans, that will be more than most of the world), enjoy the people you are with.  If you have plenty, be especially grateful.  Share your plenty with others.  Make Thanksgiving about relationships and not food.

Some may have to dig deep, but consider the things for which you are grateful.  Even if things are hard and one is struggling in life, there is much for which to be grateful.  For some, just surviving the battle for one more day is something for which to be grateful.  Take time before Thursday’s festivities to consider the path you are on and make a gratitude list.  It may take several days to perfect, but enter Thanksgiving with a heart of gratitude.

Carpe momento!