Month: April 2017

Today is my 54^th birthday.  Time seems to be accelerating.  By the title of this post, one might think I am depressed by my progressing age.  Quite the contrary.  I embrace my age.  While “blue” is often used as an emotional expression, I can’t help but think of it as a cheerful color.  Presently, after much rain, the skies are blue.  This is positive.

Blue is a calm and friendly color.  It is relaxing—think ocean.  Depressing, it is not.

Fifty-four carries years of experiences, memories, and growth experiences.  Regrets?  Sure, I have a few.  Would I change anything?  Not a thing.

If I were to change even the slightest experience or decision, who knows to what extent it would change my trajectory or that countless others?  I’d rather think that my path is just what is should be and the interactions that I have had over the years have served a purpose for me and/or the others in my life.  I have caused hurt and been hurt, but changing such events would have lost their effects.  No, I am content to just look back with gratitude.

I have often heard the question: “What advice would you give your younger self?”  My answer in “None.”  I prefer to leave my younger self to learn the lessons it learned and leave the advice to my parents, teachers, friends, family, and other mentor.  Truthfully, their advice and the lessons learned have served me well enough.

If I have lessons that I can give to my younger self, then I have the tools for change moving forward.  I have the lessons to pass on to the next generation.

The present is fine with me.  I look forward to new opportunities.  I get to make mistakes and have successes.  I get to fail and to learn.  The past carried me to the present.  The future waits.  Carpe momento!

It is April in Portland, Oregon.  It is raining.  It is Portland, Oregon.  Of course, it is raining!  But, it has been raining more than usual.  Record amounts of rain.  My friends are complaining.  (Today’s title is a quote.)  And, of course, they can’t be faulted for complaining.

It occurred to me that I am not complaining.  Unusual for me.  Truly a positive sign!  Honestly, it feels good to have not been noticing the rain.  I am on a better course in life when I am not complaining.

Yes, it is raining.  Somewhere someone is praying for rain.  Somewhere someone is complaining that it is snowing.  (Being from the East Coast/Midwest, it is often April flurries that make us pray for the showers that bring May flowers.  Here, we have had flowers in bloom since February.  Oregon’s Tulip Festival has passed.  Michigan’s Tulip Festival is still a week away.  [Note: I am sitting in a coffee shop—I am in the Northwest, after all—and a group of women nearby are discussing the rain, of course.]  It rains in April.  We should be thankful whatever our condition.

Gratitude comes hard.  We struggle to enjoy the moment (rain or shine).  Let’s take a moment and be thankful.  The rain will soon subside, and we will complain about the heat.  After that, it will get cold again.

Be satisfied in the moment.  Consider the opportunities the moment presents.  It is raining.  My grass is overdue for a mowing—and, unless they make a mower that floats, it might be another week.  I have time for other things.  Moreover, it isn’t snowing!

What is challenging your attitude?  Divert your attention and focus on the positives.  Carpe momento!

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”—John F. Kennedy

I am in academia.  You would think that change is par for the course.  It is not.  In fact, it seems that academics (in my experience) are the least likely to embrace change.  As one who embraces the kaizen philosophy, I find this challenging. Academics assess out the wazoo, but rarely does one see it lead to anything but more of the same.  Maybe because, when you don’t want to change, it is easy to find justification for the status quo.

I am not knocking academia (per se).  I am just making an observation.  Academics are not the only ones who resist (deny the necessity of) change.

Change isn’t only necessary, it is inevitable.  It should be welcomed.  Change, after all, reflects growth.  It is not a condemnation of past practices.  Rather, change is a recognition that times and people change—people learn and grow.  With growth comes new opportunity.

Now, one should not pursue change for change sake.  Change should not be driven by the winds.  Change is not random.  Instead, change requires planning and self-evaluation.  Having a growth plan suggests that one desires change.

Change is not driven my trends.  Indeed, if one is following trends, one is a mere follower.  Effective change is led.  It is driven by a few who are (extra)ordinary and forward thinking.  Change drivers don’t think outside of the box.  Drivers of change refuse to see the box.  (See “Think outside the box?”, April 11, 2017.)  It is the one who wants to stifle growth who tells us there are walls.  Don’t listen to such people!

Personally, I am more afraid of not changing.  It isn’t that I feel that I am not doing things well.  I believe I am.  But what constitutes “doing well” today will not be so tomorrow.  I firmly believe that we should “do your best today; do better tomorrow”.  This doesn’t mean I wasn’t success or (extra)ordinary today.  It just means that others need my best to be better.

We have a choice.  We can be stubborn and rigid—or we can be pliable and fit the needs of tomorrow.  Pliable need not be passive.  Success comes from observing and adapting proactively.  (Extra)ordinary people are ahead of change.

Winston Churchill said “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.”  Carpe momento!

I write about my son often.  Today, I am inspired by play in the lacrosse cage (goal).  Tuesday night he put up some impressive statistics, despite a tough 7-1 loss for his team.  He faced 27 shots on goal, and allowed only 7.  I knew this was good, but the coach made me feel even more proud when he told me that college goalies hope for 55%.  My son plays 5/6 (he’s in the sixth grade).

These statistics got me thinking—as such things often do.  Fifty-five percent.  That is not the number I would have expected.  And, maybe, that is how it is in life.  We think that everyone expects us to be perfect, but, in reality, 55% is pretty darn good.

We can expect that life is going to be hitting us with hard shots—low and in the corners.  The key is to get in front of them and do our best.  We aren’t going to stop them all, but we don’t have to.

What impresses me most about my son’s goaltending is his willingness to step into the ball.  Most often, he stops the shot with a body part.  Getting hit with a lacrosse ball is not fun!  Most 11-year-olds are more inclined to move away from the ball.  He steps to the ball instinctively.  One of the coaches commented that the wrestling is paying off for him.  (I had the same thought.)  Eventually, he will improve his stick handle and be making more stops with the stick face.  Having the intuition to move to the ball, now, will make this easier later.

I find a life lesson here (of course).  When we are faced with challenges in life, we just need to step into them.  Call ‘em “opportunities”.  Call it moving from “have” to “get” (Andy Lausier).  It is when we step into the circumstances of our lives—embrace them—that we can grow and succeed.  Liam had an incredible game, but the opponents still won.  Why?  Because they took more shots.  The score would have been far worse had the boy in the goal shied away from the ball.

We aren’t going to stop all the shots in life.  We can, however, stop more than we allow to get by us—if we have confidence and are fearless.  Step in to what challenges you.  Lead with your body and don’t be afraid.  If you do, you will see more success than if you move away from the ball.

Wayne Gretzky famously said: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  Likewise, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t block (sounds like Yogi Berra, if he coached lacrosse).  So, step into life.  Carpe momento!

“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.”—Yogi Berra

“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”—Joe Namath

There is joy in doing what you love and doing it well.  Mike Rowe, however, has advised recent graduates: “Don’t follow your passion.” He also said that “when people follow their passion, they miss out on all kinds of opportunities they didn’t even know existed.”  So, what is one to do?  Do what you love or just do what comes along?  Maybe both?

Personally, I have had a lot of passions in my life.  I chuckle every time someone asks my son “What’s your favorite sport?”, because it always depends in what season he is currently.  Presently, it is lacrosse.  Ask him what position, and the answer will often be different.  At the moment, he is loving goalie.  In the end, what matters is that he has fun and does his best.  The best opportunity will arise when the time comes.  For me, I am 54 years old next week, and I still can’t identify what is my passion.  So, I work on the many things I love.

Mike Rowe is right, don’t follow your passion.  A lot of people are actually pretty lousy at some of what they might consider passions.  At least many are not good enough at something to make it their living.  Whatever your hand finds to do—make it your passion.

Two decisions have made my work more palatable.  Three have made it downright enjoyable.  I make it a daily exercise to consider my “opportunities”; I decide every morning to “leave it all in this room” (e.g., the classroom); and I stopped giving a crap about what other people think or do.  It takes less energy now to start the day.  I enjoy what I do and I perceive my students are enjoying themselves more (if they aren’t, well, it ain’t my fault).

I don’t know where I would be if I had followed my passions along the way.  Certainly, I would not be where I am today.  Maybe I might be better off financially or have greater status in the world, but….  There is so much that I would have given up had I followed my passions—my wife, my daughter, my son, etc.  I would have missed so many opportunities.

If you are “fortunate” enough to have your path and passions cross, awesome.  Few of us do.  The key to a rewarding and fulfilling life is to just trust your path and receive what comes with gratitude.  This is not to say we don’t pursue our passions and joy in our lives.  Rather, it means to be open to the opportunities.  Have confidence that you are on the right path and keep moving forward.  Most importantly, have fun.   “When you have fun, you can do amazing things” (Joe Namath).

Carpe momento!

 

“You find out life’s this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the … difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!”—Tony D’Amato, Any Given Sunday

Is life supposed to be a battle? Can the best we expect in life is to keep clawing our way—inches at a time—until we die? If it is, “shoot me now ‘cause life ain’t worth livin’” (Dennis Miller).

Sure, life will have its moments of difficulty (great and small). It will have its ups and downs. We will have our period of “inches”. But, this is not the life we are intended to have—at least this is not the approach to life we are supposed to have.

We can look at life two ways. We can look at it as a life and death battle—a life of winners and losers—or we can look at life as the opportunity it is. Life is all about growing—not struggling to survive.

Al Pacino’s character (Tony D’Amato) in Any Given Sunday gives an impassioned speech, and it makes for a great motivational moment, but I am not buying it. This is not how I want to live my life.

As my readers know, I enjoy the life lessons of wrestling. One favorite lesson reminds us that “in wrestling there are no losers, only winners and learners” (Unknown). Indeed, such is life.

We can embrace that life is to be a struggle—a battle for survival (Spoiler alert: we die in the end), or we can celebrate that life is a blessed opportunity that is to be received with gratitude. This is the difference, my friend, Andy Lausier, has taught me, between having to do something and getting to do something. A life that is viewed as clawing “with our fingernails for that inch” is my interpretation of hell. Living a life filled with opportunity and growth, rather, is a bit of heaven on earth.

Difference between heaven and hell is a fine line. Likewise, the line between battle and opportunity is a matter of perception. We can choose to view life as a battle to the death or as a wrestling match in which, as Nietzsche postulated, “that which does not kill me makes me stronger.” In hell, one suffers. In heaven, all is received with gratitude. The choice is ours.

Carpe momento!

Image: Any Given Sunday

“Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.”—Jack Ma

For some reason, today’s title came to me as just a word.  No real concept.  Just a word.  Usually, inspiration comes as a theme.  Today, all I got was a topic.  Why?  I don’t know.  Subconsciously, though, it must be something I need to consider.

The Armstrong clan from Scotland has a motto: “Invictus Maneo”.  I remain unvanquished.  In other words, “unbreakable”.

Life is wrought with challenges, shifts in direction, and doubt.  These should never break us.  Tragically, many break every day.  They quit or worse.  We need not break.

Consider “why?” when things fail to go “your way”.  Consider that, perhaps, just maybe, i.e., very likely, that your plans just didn’t fit the greater Purpose.  Consider that there is a greater future for your, if you are willing to be open.

What makes something “unbreakable”?  Things break when they cannot resist the forces acting on them.  Metal, when heated, bends easily.  When cold, it is more brittle and is more likely to break.  Substances can be rigid, elastic, or malleable.  Rigid does not withstand the forces acting on it.  Elastic easily stretches, but quickly returns to its original state when the forces are removed.  Malleable results in “permanent” change.  Here, I suggest permanent in only a temporary way.  As one pursuing “well-centeredness” change is never permanent.  Growth is malleable.  One who is growing is always changing—for the better.  (Be your best today; be better tomorrow.)

If we are unbreakable, we must bend and be flexible—with care taken in which forces we allow to change us.  Unbreakable is not at all conforming.  Conformance is the wrong kind of “unbreakable”.  Rather we should be shaped into what we are purposed to become.

Seek to know your Purpose and pursue it.  Allow the circumstances—opportunities—in life to shape you.  Never allow yourself to become rigid and dogmatic.

Carpe momento!

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”—Norman Vincent Peale

I saw today that my beloved Steelers are scheduled to play (again) on Christmas Day.  Not everyone celebrates Christmas, and this is not the only holiday on which professional sports have begun to trespass.  It is, however, in my humble opinion, a disturbing trend.

Now, some will argue that the players are paid big bucks and that they should not complain.  It is true that they are paid to entertain us.  So, to an extent this is a valid argument.  But, it is not only the players who have to work.  Think of the countless, ushers, vendors, security personnel, etc. who are needed to run the stadiums, and the personnel who are necessary to televise the game.  These all have families.  These all might just want to stay home with their families for Christmas.  Sure, they benefit from holiday pay, but at what cost?

The idea of football on a holiday that presents an opportunity for quality family time is disheartening.  It is disappointing because the NFL is only scheduling these games because people will watch.  Now we can argue chicken v. egg here, but it doesn’t make a difference if someone in an NFL meeting said “If you build it, they will come” or some poor fan suggested that he wants to go to a football game on Christmas Day.  The reality is that the pattern to avoid the opportunity to gather as families and neighbors to celebrate one another has become all too common in American society.  It is a symptom to much greater underlying issues in our society.

Now, I trust that some are thinking that sitting on the couch watching our NFL teams battle is “family time”, and this is just sad.  It is sad and pathetic.  Between television and electronics, we seem to have lost any sense of relationship in our society.

Countless problems facing our society can be traced to our decreasing abilities to communicate and socialize.  We are less and less able to relate to one another in meaningful ways.  I am not naïve enough to think that not scheduling a football game on a holiday will fix this, but it goes to the “tragedy of the commons”.  Every small “it’s no big deal” adds up to a big deal.  Maybe we should begin to take a bit more of a stand?

Carpe momento!

Image: http://images.pitchero.com/ui/343346/1350998014_0.gif

“There are no losers in wrestling, only winners and learners.”—Unknown

This is one of my favorite quotes from the sport of wrestling (and I am sure I have used it multiple times in my writing).  It popped up on social media today, and, thus, it became inspiration for today’s post.

There are countless life lessons in wrestling, as in all sports.  The notion that there are only winners and learners in wrestling is no less applicable to life.  Indeed, it is very true that there are only winners and learners in life—at least these are available options.  I might suppose that choosing to ignore the lessons is “losing” in life.  Let’s hope that most of us choose to “learn”.

I have experienced and heard many times from wrestlers (and people who have fallen short of their pursuits) the benefits of coming up on the losing side.  The lessons learned from failure can be more valuable than the rewards of victory.  The greatest growth always comes from falling short of the win.

A good wrestler becomes better by wresting great wrestlers.  Missed shots and mistakes are par for the sport.  Few ever become great at anything without effort.  Champions risk taking shots.

JohnA Passaro wrote:

“’There is an open circle. 
This mantra is what my high school coaches would say to me during wrestling practice when they knew that I was physically exhausted and was about to rest for a moment. There was an open circle on the wrestling mat, and if I was interested I could get out there and do more.
‘There is an open circle.’ 
Meaning there is still more that you could do. Don’t rest now; this is where the difference is made. To work when you are mentally and physically exhausted gets you to the next level.
‘There is an open circle.’”

Life is that open circle.  We need to step in it.  We can not be content with where we are and what we are doing.  We have to step into the circle where failure is quite possible.  We have to accept the lessons of defeat and build off of these—learn from these.

I frequently tell my students what my friend Travis taught me: we never really learn anything until we are first completely confused by it.  In other words, we need the struggle in order to learn.  We must seek the challenge.  We must choose to be in the position to learn.  Don’t accept “easy”.  Wrestle the match no one thinks you can win.  Crave the struggle.  Work.  Learn.  Grow.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“What is genius but the power of expressing a new individuality?”—Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Who are we if we are not an individual?  One must embrace his or her own genius and accept one’s self for the impact he or she is intended to have on the world.

Likewise, we must accept the individuality of others.  Of course, there is a place for conformity in a society, but only the extent to which it prevents lawlessness.  In general, however, diversity is in the truest sense individuals being themselves—not, in my opinion, the broad categorization of people.

Teaching exercise science, the thought of individuality comes to mind often.  I teach it in regards to the dynamic systems model of behavior—i.e., that behavior is driven by the interaction between the characteristics of the individual, the environment, and the task at hand.  The applications, however, are quite broad.  We cannot, therefore, affect others positively without, as Stephen R. Covey suggested, seeking “first to understand, then to be understood”.  This is something that is seriously lacking in our society.  We, instead, demand that other conform to us, rather than finding the common ground.

The principle of individuality defies the categorization of people.  From education to the gym, we need to get away from the one-size-fits-all mentality.  Everyone has different needs that are not always well served by such an approach.

One discouraging trend I see in fitness is the “workout of the day” or “WOD”.  The idea that a group of individuals can show up and be given a common workout that will meet their needs and abilities goes contrary to all the I teach.  Sure, we can convince people that they all have the same goals (usually six-pack abs, of course), but not everyone needs—or wants—the same things.  “Personal fitness” is no longer personalized.

Likewise, education has become increasingly homogenized.  At universities, we provide degrees to what academics perceive the job opportunities to be rather than training future jobs creators.  Degrees include restrictive curriculum that serves more the faculty position rather than the greater society needs.  Degrees lack flexibility and creativity.  Often degree programs can go decades without change when technology and knowledge changes seemingly daily.  As a result, students conform and make their way through a black-and-white degree plan just because they are told they need a degree.  The question at graduation, then, is “What do I do next?”  Instead, I am of the mindset that we need to educate students to have the ambition coming up through K-12 to demand: “This is what I want to do.  Prepare me for it!”  This is educating to the principle of individuality.  Instead, we get: “I am kinda interested in ______.  What classes to I have to take to graduate?”  Our children deserve better.

Relationally, we seek a mate who shares our interests, rather than the person who completes us.  Relationships wither and die because we “outgrow each other” or “he/she has changed.”  News flash: your partner (and you/me) should change.  If your partner has outgrown you, what the heck have the two of you been doing?  Or should I say “not been doing”?

“Couple” serves as a noun or a verb.  In the verb sense, a couple combines to become united—not like 1 + 1 = 2, rather like 1 + 1 > 2.

I embrace the differences between my wife and me—and there are many.  Sure, I annoy her and she (only occasionally, of course) annoys me from time to time, but it is the principle of individuality that allows us to grow together—as a unite and as individuals.

In all things, we need to embrace the power of the individual.  One can say that we a stronger united, but, in that unity, each much bring his/her own unique strengths and giftedness to the collective whole. 

Be your unique best today; make a better tomorrow.  Carpe momento!