Month: November 2016

“The reason I exercise is for the quality of life I enjoy.”—Kenneth Cooper

As an exercise physiologist, one might expect that I love exercising.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I like to say that my approach to exercise is much like the guy who is hitting himself in the head with a 2×4.  When asked why he does it, he responds, “Because it feels so good when I stop.”  Yep, that’s me.

I am (jokingly) distrustful of people who say they enjoy exercise.  In my opinion, they are either not working hard enough or their brain is wired wrong.

Seriously, today’s post is about just doing something to get started exercising.  We all need to be moving.  What makes physical activity (i.e., movement, in general) exercise is that there must be a level of discomfort associated with it.  Exercise, by definition, is physical activity that is performed for the purpose of improving one’s health, appearance, and/or performance.  Central to such improvement is the “overload principle”—if a body system is to adapt (i.e., improve), it has to be pushed to a level greater than that which it is accustomed.  In other words, you gotta take a few swings at your forehead.

The wonderful this about exercise is that as it becomes a habit it gets easier the more it becomes harder.  Once the practice of regular exercise takes hold of you, it is hard to not exercise than it is to exercise.  I find that I have mornings where the brain is saying “sleep”, but it the body that is saying “get your butt up and work out!”

Regular exercise has all the symptoms of a dysfunctional relationship—where one keeps coming back to the one who hurts them.  But what is unhealthy in the Social dimension is encouraged in the Physical dimension.

Exercise requires a level of discomfort.  It ought to be challenging.  If today’s workout is easy, it is time for a greater challenge.  Progressive overload.  Do a bit more every day.  You don’t have to overdo it (indeed you shouldn’t) but you must push yourself.

Our time is precious.  Why spend it in wasted exercise effort.  Be disciplined and intentional.  Know your physical fitness goals and exercise accordingly.

If you don’t know how to exercise or what you should be doing, seek the help of a qualified exercise professional.  Find a fitness trainer who is knowledgeable (fit-looking does not necessarily equate to knowledge) and who understands that exercise is individualized (i.e., be leery of trainers who train everyone the same—the “workout of the day” or WOD approach is only effective when all the individuals, such as with a “team of athletes”, have the same goals).

Within the needs of your goals, choose activities that are fun—but don’t have too much fun doing them.  Work to a “pleasant sense of fatigue” or a bit more if you have more determined performance goals.

Bottom line?  Be your best today; be better tomorrow! Carpe diem!

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”—John F. Kennedy

 

“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”—Paulo Coelho

I try to start every day by putting on a positive attitude.  Some days it just isn’t there.  I strive to be “well-centered” but….  There are some days that you just have to put on your game face and play the game.  Is this insincere?  Absolutely not.

In sports, it may be that you are nervous, but you never let it show.  You never let the opponent sense your fear or trepidation. 

In life, our game face is the attitude we want to emanate.  Remember: your attitude shapes your attitude.  So, to be confident, exude confidence.  Not feeling happy or energetic?  Smile.  Be enthusiastic.  Surely, the behavior will follow.

To be honest, it is rare that I am ever quite where I want to be emotionally.  Most mornings I have to work up positivity.  But, it is all about overcoming emotional inertia.  There are a lot of days where I start the day by going through a process of “I don’t…. I need to…. I can…. I will…. I am….”  Some days you just gotta be your own cheerleader.

My morning routine—my journaling process—is intended to prepare me for the day—to get my game face on.  I start with goals (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social).  Then, I restate my mission statement and a statement of my values.  Fairly regularly, I restate my top 5 long-term goals.  Then, I go through an exercise of identifying 5 or 6 “opportunities” for the day.  Finally, I reflect on the previous day and consider what lies ahead.

Most days, I do have to overcome some amount of emotional inertia.  Recognizing where I am struggling or experiencing frustration is the first step in putting on my “game face”.  Sometimes, I start by venting an aggravation.  As I write out my frustration, I find that my mind quickly shifts to recognizing the need to overcome this inclination.  As I continue, I soon find that the emotions flip and positivity emerges.

Initial efforts at flipping the emotions will likely seem forced.  The smile you put on may feel a bit like clown makeup.  In time, though, the flip will be real and increasingly sustainable.  Forward momentum takes over.

I am secretly jealous of people who always seem happy.  I suspect, however, that there are times when they had to put on that game face, too, but one can never know.  I long to be that “always happy” person.

There is another challenge to putting on the game face.  That is to keep it on for the people to whom we are closest—spouses, children, close friends and family.  These are the people who most often see the man behind the mask.  This should not be.  We can let the face fall for those who mean the most to us just because they are likely to be the most forgiving.

It takes energy to keep our game face on.  Sometimes, a lot of energy.  When we are with those most likely to accept us for who we are, it is easy let down our guard.  But, we must not let our momentum slow. 

I’d be lying if I said I have this down.  I am getting better with practice.  But, like well-centered fitness, it is a process.  It is a disciplined movement toward an asymptote of excellence.

Football season just finished for my son—who, by the way shows very little emotion (“game face”) on the field.  I am going to miss the team chants during the pregame and post-practice.  These boys knew how to stir up their enthusiasm and pull together as a team.  So much energy!

We can be our best cheerleaders.  It is a matter of choice.  Choose to be positive in the moment.  Determine your emotional state and be it!

Give yourself a mantra or two (or more) that serves as your personal cheer.  Give yourself a pep rally and get your game face on!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

 

“Every little action creates an effect: We are all interconnected.”—Yehuda Berg

I had an interesting coincidence yesterday.  I was teaching a lesson on “Marketing Your Program” to my Exercise Motivation & Adherence class.  I related a story about my first encounter with my son’s now wrestling coach.  At the time, I owned a sports performance training center and my manager approached the coach to invite him to check us out.  Without going into great detail, the coach changed his decision to visit after seeing what he perceived as an inconsistency between what he was told about what we offered and what he saw on the website.  Fortunately, I had already reached out to a collegiate coach in the area who, with his brother, had trained on the system when members of the USA national team and could support our claims.  To make a long story short, after confirming this, a lasting relationship with the coach—both coaches, actually emerged.  In fact, both became very loyal supporters of my business.  I emphasized to the students that “it (marketing your business and services) is all about relationships.”

There is not much exciting about the above story—especially with such scant details—but later yesterday, after my son’s wrestling practice, this coach addressed the wrestlers with the same message: “it is all about relationships.”  I couldn’t help but smile as I listened.

This is coaching, to me.  I appreciated the message to my son and his teammates.  Indeed, it is all about relationships.  Life is all about relationships.

I asked my students if they were aware of the Kevin Bacon game—where one can connect any actor to Kevin Bacon in less than six steps.  (Surprisingly, they were not aware of the game!)  So, we played.  A student selected Ben Affleck.  Easy!  Ben Affleck starred in Changing Lanes.  Kevin Bacon appeared in In the Cut.  My dad appeared as an extra in both movies.  Bam!  (Of course, I am sure there are several other paths from Ben Affleck to Kevin Bacon, but I was able to nail this on the spot and off the top of my head.  (I was quite proud of myself.)

Of course, there is also the concept of six-degrees of separation.  I have a picture of my sister with the Clintons at Bill Clinton’s inauguration.  (My sister was a delegate and was appointed to the Small Business Administration.)  This is my avenue to quite a few people globally.

These games are fun to think about, but they also underscore our interconnectedness.  I can’t help but think of the effect of even the most chance and minor interaction.

While we can’t really connect all the dots, per se, I liken our connectedness to the “butterfly effect”—where one action can have a compounding effect on other events.  No, certainly, one cannot suggest that one minor event can be so linked to one other distant event, but it is reasonable to me that our actions can have a rippling effect that, in turn, is acted upon by other seemingly insignificant events.  This is why, personally, I have no desire to go back in time to change even one event in my life.  I can have no idea how changing one regret might impact where I and anyone else are in this world.  We are, thus, connected in ways we cannot imagine.

It truly is all about relationships.  Our lives do not exist in a vacuum.  We cannot act without affecting someone.  So, we must consider our choices.

We must appreciate one another.  We must understand that it is all about relationships and decide to make our connections a priority.

How do we treat those moments when someone comes to mind seemingly out of the blue?  Sometimes it is a person about whom we have had little thought for years.  I would contend the this is a call to reach out to this person—for whatever reason always seems to reveal itself.  This is a notion presented in James Renfield’s novel, The Celestine Prophecy.  The idea of synchronicity—that coincidences have personal meaning—has long intrigued me.  Fact or fiction, it is a useful way to look at the interactions among the components of the well-centered fitness model and among the people who surround us.  It certainly does not hurt us to be attuned to our connectedness.

I find it no small coincidence that my lesson in Exercise Motivation & Adherence was mirrored in my son’s wrestling practice by the very person I exemplified in the story.  Life and relationships are awesome that way.

Trust that you are where you are, when you are, and with whom you are for purposes beyond one’s current understanding.  Carpe momento!  Remember: It is all about relationships.

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.”—Anthony J. D’Angelo

 

I am a John Denver fan.  (Of course I am.  I am a West Virginia University graduate.)  I love the lyric: “Some days are diamonds. Some days are stone.”  This is a reality of life.  Days are gonna be hard.  Some are a good hard (diamonds).  Some are a less good hard (stones).  And maybe they are just how we perceive them—a diamond is a stone, after all.

Another way to look at this is the old Billy Joe Shaver song: “I’m just an old chunk of coal (but I’m gonna be a diamond someday)”.  It is all perspective.  It is all a matter of choice.  We can see ourselves where we are and lament, or we can see what today is going to make us.

I have discovered that I am often looking for what I want and, a such, I fail to see that God has given me what he wants—that my purpose and my opportunity are to be where I am right now.  We need to receive the moment we are in.  We need to accept where we are and know that it is going to lead us where we are supposed to be.  It may seem like we are an old chunk of coal, but let nature act on us and we’ll become a diamond.

Accept the days that are stone.  Let yourself be challenged and don’t be disheartened.  The difficult days are what strengthen us.  These are the days that help us better appreciate the diamond days.

Don’t overlook the opportunity that presents itself.  Doing as such will keep you moving in a positive direction.

Rejoice in the days that are diamonds.  Celebrate.  Be thankful. 

It is never easy to see what you will become when you see yourself as an “old chunk of coal”, but there is a process to becoming a diamond (unfortunately, geologically, diamonds do not really form from coal beds—but it makes for a great country lyric).  Likewise, there is a process to each of us becoming who we are intended to be, and, like it or not, we need to go through what we are going through to get there.

See yourself as a diamond and not just a stone.  Take advantage of the opportunity that is presenting itself (carpe momento).  Capitalize on what life brings you.  Receive the moment you are in.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”—Peter Mars

Is it just me or are everything and everyone getting labels lately.  More often than not, the labels are intended to be negative and divisive.  No need for a list, because I am sure that the reader knows at least some of the ones that might be listed.

Of what values are labels in our society other than to create an “us versus them” divide.  I’m going to be blunt, here, and say: “Get over it folks!”  We are serving no value to one another if all we do is highlight our differences.  I have seen the argument, “why do I have to try to understand them?”  Why?  Because they are your neighbor!  Community divided is not community.

I am not popular with this outlook, but I stand by my opinion that protests are nonproductive.  Yes, they allow the marginalized to “be heard”—maybe.  But, I don’t see that protests solve any problems until the parties involved take a seat together at the table.  “Community” implies communication.

I am pretty middle-of-the-road politically.  I know this because I am quite capable of “offending” both extremes.  This is a challenge for me, because, desiring to be “well-centered”, I want to be understanding and promote healthy relationships.

Where does politics and social division fit within the well-centered model?  If you look around our communities, today, there is no fit at all.  Writing this post, I am struggling to be a model of well-centeredness.  I am not sure that it will be perceived as such.  I don’t like to be called out when I fall short of my desired conduct, so I am sure there are readers who are feeling “called out.”  I want to say, though, that we should feel this discomfort from time to time.  It is healthy—if we take it to heart.

I wish I had the solutions to societies ills.  Maybe our problems stem from our decreasing sense of interdependence and our manufactured social isolation—you know, being a room full of people not talking but rather texting and tweeting someone else.  It occurred to me as I sat to write this that the handshake has gone to make way for the “fist bump”.  Maybe I am just getting old, but I miss the handshake.  There is a connection made when two people shake hands.  You can read something about the other person by the firmness of his or her grip.  There is a risk to shaking hands—did he or she wash the hands??  I am not much of a germaphobe, so it doesn’t bother me in the least.  (In making this connection, I consider also the impact of exposure on building the immune system, which, in my opinion, strengthens the analogy and underscores the importance of coming together in close community.)  There is a level of commitment in shaking hand.  For a moment, two are joined in unity.

We are never going to move together as a community if we don’t make an effort to understand one another.  We will never understand one another without open communication.

Communication is an act in two parts.  It requires speaking and listening (not simply hearing). Communication must come from a well-centered approach—with consideration of the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions.

Labels?  I started with labels.  Let’s stop labeling people the purposes of categorizing “us” and “them”.  Let’s welcome everyone to the table, leave our smart phones at the door and communicate.

Carpe momento!

“When you invest your time, you make a goal and a decision of something that you want to accomplish. Whether it’s make good grades in school, be a good athlete, be a good person, go down and do some community service and help somebody who’s in need, whatever it is you choose to do, you’re investing your time in that.”–Nick Saban

On payday, what is the first thing you do?  I suspect, if you are a responsible person, you pay your bills, perhaps set a tithe or offering aside for your church, and set some aside for savings and investment.  Every morning, you wake up to a payday of time.  Most of us have 16-18 hours to spend.  How do you manage this?

Most people start the day with little to no thought about how they are going to spend it. Can you imagine spending your paycheck with the same lack of concern?  If we think of our time like money, we might spend it differently.  Our time falls under the principle of “opportunity cost”—just like our financial plan (assuming one has a plan), we need a plan for our time.

Herein, lies the need for a morning routine and growth plan.  What we decide to do with our time comes at a cost of some other use of time. Thus, we need to consider:

• What is most important?
• What is consistent with our goals?
• What is consistent with our mission and values?
• Who benefits from the time spent?
• What is the return on our “investment”?
• Does the action/activity meet the criteria of urgency, importance, and significance?

What is most important?  Certainly, there are things we cannot avoid, such as work—we gotta pay the bills!  But, beyond our scheduled work, how do we prioritize importance?  I like to begin with consideration for the five dimensions of “well-centered fitness”—Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social.  I want to make sure that the majority of my time is spent having an affect on these.

What is consistent with our goals? Our mission and values?  Having clearly defined goals, values, and mission will further refine what is important.  For me, I begin with my values—faith, family, friends, growth, health, and impacting others.  These guide my mission and inspire my goals.  Therefore, these define how my time is prioritized.  Prayer/meditation and consideration of the opportunities that are before me, getting my mind focused and framing a positive attitude, journaling, and goal-setting are important elements of my morning routine.  Exercise is a priority.  I look forward to my daily “15-minute check-in” with my wife (which is really more like 30-45 minutes and always delays dinner, but the name is catchier).  My children’s activities are also a priority—scheduling sports, etc. get an inflexible block in the daily planner.  Reading—a minimum of 30 minutes a day—is also scheduled. These are most important.  From here, I can fill the spaces in between.

Who benefits from the time spent?  I like to live by Gale Sayers’ creed: “My Lord is first, my family is second, and I am third.”  One must take care of one’s self–ideally, for the purposes of benefiting and impacting others.  So, ultimately, is our time spent selfishly or selflessly?

What is the return on our “investment”?  This might take a bit more thought, but we must consider whether or not what we do with our time has any significant effect on our personal growth and/or the growth of others.  Social media, for example, way build our community or it might just be spent scrolling mindless memes and video.

Does the action/activity meet the criteria of urgency, importance, and significance? Rory Vaden (Procrastinate on Purpose) builds off of Stephen Covey’s two-dimensional time-management grid (importance x urgency) by adding the third dimension–significance. We have to consider how long something matters.  We also consider if something is urgent and important, can we pass it off to someone else to do.  There are other things that, while of lesser “urgency” or “importance”, we must do right away because of its significance—taking time for our children or spouse, for example.  These are the carpe momento decisions we make on a regular basis.  As often as is possible, our time decisions should be of greater significance.  These are the time investments, as the return is great—possible compounding.

They say “time is precious.”  Do we live our lives as such?

“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”—Steve Jobs

 

My friends at Wrestlelogy shared the title quote on Facebook, yesterday.  “Challenged” (i.e., inspired) by my friend and Sacred Heart University Wrestling coach, Andy Lausier, to write a blog post a day for the rest of the wrestling season, this seemed like a great place to start.

It is a common expression in sport to say “leave everything on the field” or “leave everything on the mat”.  No doubt, this is what every athlete should do.  I relate this to the parable of the talents, as well—if you hold anything back, you are letting down your team.  Every game.  Every practice.  The athlete has to “bring it”.

Why not bring this coaching philosophy to one’s daily life?  Why, if we athletes and former athletes bring it to practice and competition, can’t we “bring it” to our work and our relationships?  The meme struck a chord with me.  Maybe it is because it was shown to me by Wrestleology on the start of my son’s wrestling season and at a time when I was given my charging orders (so to speak) from a wrestling coach who demonstrates the very concept.  Whatever the reason, I am so inspired.

If I am ever “off of my game”—whether as a college professor, as a father, as a husband, as a friend, etc.—I am letting someone down.  I am not bringing my talents, and I am not leaving everything I have in this room.

Now some might say this is putting too much pressure on someone.  Dare I respond: “Suck it up, buttercup”?  ‘Cause I’ll say it to myself.  I have to stop making excuses or saving my energy.

“Leave everything you have in this room” is the very essence of carpe momento.  It is what I mean when I tell my son: “be your best today; be better tomorrow.”

When I go to bed at night, can I truly look in the mirror, as I brush my teeth and take out my contacts, and say “I gave it my all, today.”  Did I live my values and mission?  Did I give all I could in every relationship and every interaction?  This is the pursuit of a “well-centered” life—giving one’s all Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially.

Everyone who has ever seriously trained for a sport knows the satisfaction that comes from giving one’s all in preparation and/or competition.  The athlete who left everything in the room sleeps well.  Such an athlete closes his or her eyes and falls fast asleep with a “pleasant sense of fatigue”.  So should we rest long after our competitive season ends.

I challenge myself, today, (and you are free to join me) to leave everything I have in this room (whatever room that might be).  Remember: one’s attitude shapes one’s attitude.  I choose to receive every moment as an opportunity to be successful.  Whatever the outcome, it will be my best for today.

“The easiest thing to do in the world is pull the covers up over your head and go back to sleep.”—Dan Gable

“Coaching is not about winning.  Striving to achieve at a high level is a given.  It is about drastically changing lives.  Miss that and you miss the point.”—Coyte Cooper

Coaching has been on my mind lately.  My son just finished his 5/6 youth football season with a tough 16-8 loss in the championship and starts the wrestling season tonight.  My students in the Exercise Motivation & Adherence course presented their “Coaching Youth Philosophy” papers, and I am in the process of grading.

Last night, we celebrated the football season and the boys with a banquet/party.  I had the pleasure and honor of presenting gifts to the coaches from the parents as a token of our appreciation.  I wanted to speak to the coaches from the heart, and, after they finished addressing each boy and commenting on their contribution to the team, my job was easy.  I felt truly blessed to have my son play for these coaches and the rest of the boys.

One could not ask for more intense and enthusiastic coaches, but what was clear to me throughout the season was their sincere concern for each and every boy on the team.  As they spoke about each boy, the word “love” was heard repeatedly.  Moreover, what I heard was praise for who the boys are becoming.

In InSide-Out Coaching, Joe Ehrmann identifies two types of coaches: Transactional and Transformational.  Transactional coaches are most concerned with what they can get from the athletes—namely, wins.  Transformational coaches are most concerned with the they can give to the athletes.  The true success of a transformational coach may not be seen for decades, when the boy becomes a man—in how he treats others, is successful in the workplace and community, and how he lives his life.  What a boy or girl learns in sports will affect them the rest of their lives.  How they win and lose will impact how they respond to what live brings.

What type of coach someone is may be seen in how they approach playing time, how they interact with parents, how they approach wins and losses, and how they treat effort and achievement.  I most appreciate the coaches who are going to hard on my young athlete while rewarding the progress that is being made—the coaches who make it fun to work your tail off.

There was not a boy on my son’s team who was not appreciated and did not improve throughout the season.  It was gratifying to hear the coaches speak of each boy’s success and role on the team.  I was especially moved by the words spoken of my own son.  Whether the words fully resounded in his 11-year-old brain is not clear, but, certainly, they will be with him as he continues to mature.

Tonight, he moves on to wrestling where he will have a coach who is equally hard on him and concerned for his long-term success.  Different lessons are in store for my boy as we shift sports, but undoubtedly, he will be building on the confidence and success of the football season.

As we interact with others, particularly those over which we are charged.  We must consider “What type of coach am I?”  For, though we may not wear a whistle, we are in a role of “coach”.  Will we push our “athletes” to bring their best to the game—to be their best today, and be better tomorrow—or we be transactional, only looking to see what we can gain from the relationship?  I trust we will be transformational and seize the opportunity to help our “athletes” achieve.

Carpe momento!

“One of the great myths in America is that sports build character. They can and they should. Indeed, sports may be the perfect venue in which to build character. But sports don’t build character unless a coach possesses character and intentionally teaches it. Sports can team with ethics and character and spirituality; virtuous coaching can integrate the body with the heart, the mind, and the soul.”—Joe Ehrmann

 

“You don’t get unity by ignoring the questions that have to be faced.”—Jay Weatherall

There is something seriously lacking in our society–communication. We are divided on so many levels—race, religion, education, politics, income, gender, etc. Protests and political memes are the norm. Texting and emailing when there is a person sitting next to you or across the table. Voicing opinion, but not taking the time to LISTEN.

Three phrases from my Christian faith come to mind: “love your enemy”, “communion”, and “breaking bread”. What problems might be solved if we really considered these simple concepts?

We are so ingrained to hate our enemy.  We are increasingly becoming a dichotomous society—us v. them. To love one’s enemy, however, is not to surrender in weakness.  Rather, it is to show strength in conflict.  It is “seek first to understand and then to be understood” according to Stephen Covey.  It is not taking a beating, but understanding why someone wants to hit you in the first place. Yes, it is hard, and it might not lead, ultimately, to a peaceful resolution, but the chances are better for peace and a lasting solution when we do.

Communion is a common sacrament in the Christian faith.  Unfortunately, we don’t take the exercise beyond our religious practice.  Communion is defined as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a mental or spiritual level” (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/communion). We just don’t challenge ourselves to open up and share our thoughts and feelings.  Instead, we post them in all capital letters on our social media and get upset when someone disagrees.  This is not communion.  Nor is this community which is derived from the same Latin root (communis).

Breaking bread is simply sitting at the table together and sharing a meal.  It saddens me to go to a restaurant (or any public place) and see a group of people sitting at a table on their phones.  Why??! We are missing the opportunity for community.  The cost of this lost opportunity is division.  When we distance ourselves from the people across or beside us, we make it that much easier to ignore the others across the room, across town, and across the globe. 

Our society is deeply in need of a global potluck! We need to get together and share. We need to feel free to disagree.  Indeed, we need to welcome disagreement. It is from dissention that new ideas are born.  Yes, we risk offending and being offended, but offense is an opportunity for mutual growth and understanding.

We often describe ourselves, politically, as “conservative” or “progressive”.  I find neither label particularly helpful or truthful.  “Conservative” implies unwilling to change.  “Progressive” implies an intellectual superiority.  “Progressive” can actually be “regressive” when not open to understanding the opposition.  When we stand steadfast in our beliefs and worldview, we are never open to growth and real progress.

I have described “well-centered fitness” as an asymptote—a goal that is never wholly achievable.  Social progress is no different.  We always have room for growth.  Progress, however, should be toward unity, not further separation. Progress should be the pursuit of social justice.

We will never solve our problems by pushing ourselves apart and being offended that someone’s opinion doesn’t match ours. Dare to be offended and to offend. Do so, not out of hate, but out of love. We might just be surprised by the outcome. ‘Cause, after all, how well is the current approach working?

“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.”—Mattie Stepanek

“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as you dominant aspiration.”—James Allen

We seem to be increasingly dominated by desires that lack spiritual depth.  I am not speaking in the religious sense here.  Rather, I am considering our desires in the universal sense of Spiritual “well-centeredness”.

Not linking these thoughts to any one event or events, per se, it would appear that we have succumbed to a world vision that is limited to our own opinions and experience without recognizing that the universe is far greater than what we see.  The world is not made up of dichotomies.  The world is not divided along clear lines of race, religion, gender, income, ethnicity, etc.  These are the limits that statisticians and political pundits put on us to simplify the effort to quantify the world.  We buy into the nonsense we are fed.

I saw a meme today that blamed the media for the racial divide in the United States.  (Once could easily have substituted “racial” for any other factor upon which we divide ourselves.)  It is easy to blame the media for our ills, but we are consumers of the media.  The media only feed us what we are willing to consume.  If we don’t participate, it won’t have an audience.  So, we must face the reality that we are in control of ourselves and our society.

There is a great opportunity before us all.  We alone choose how we will respond to the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  There may be a season for some to grieve.  For others, there may be a season to celebrate.  But for everyone, there is a season to move forward.

Daily, we are presented with the circumstances that can break us.  Thus, we have a choice.  We can allow our circumstances to overwhelm us—leaving us, fearful, frustrated, discouraged, and so on—or we can take a more positive route.  In the direction of the positive, we can accept our circumstance as a challenge, or we can see it as an opportunity.  In the universal sense, accepting our circumstance as an opportunity for the greater good will have the greatest impact.  Such an approach is the better path toward change.  For one, we are acceding a more internal locus of control.

I am increasingly frustrated by the trend of sheltering the feelings of others.  This, by no means, suggests that I am in favor of bullying others or intentionally offending others.  My frustration lies in the lack of unification this promotes.  To arrive at true understanding, we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  We need to sit at the table together and, as Stephen Covey put it, “seek first to understand and then to be understood.”  We have that flipped in our society, and it is furthering the divide.

I get it.  People are frustrated.  I have been there.  But, frustration is an opportunity for cooperation.  It is an opportunity to come together in community.

The choice is mine and yours.  Carpe momento!