Month: November 2016

 

“Fears and doubts repel prosperity.
Abundance cannot get to a person who holds such a mental attitude. Things that are unlike in the mental realm repel one another. Trying to become prosperous while always talking poverty, thinking poverty, dreading it, predicting that you will always be poor, is like trying to cure disease by always thinking about it, picturing it, visualizing it, believing that you are always going to be sick, that you never can be cured. 
Nothing can attract prosperity but that which has an affinity for it, the prosperous thought, the prosperous conviction, the prosperity faith, the prosperity ambition.”—Orison Swett Marden

Many years ago that Jesus taught of four destructive enemies of faith: fear, doubt, anxious care, and human reasoning.  It is a small step to applying this to the pursuit of anything that is of value in life.  Fear, doubt, day-to-day worries, and (ir)rational thinking have killed more dreams and halted more people’s pursuit of success than can be quantified.  Defeat these and success is inevitable.

Fear, doubt, worry, and faulty reasoning prevent one from even getting started.  This malevolent foursome stops us even before the goal is written down.  If, by strong persistence, the determined set course toward a desired goal, these will no doubt resist progress with a vengeance.

Fear, doubt, anxious care, and human reasoning, however, have only the power we allow them.  We are deceived to believe that these are in control.  They are not.

Our challenge is to overcome their hold—to realize that their grip is weak.  We must ask ourselves “from where do they get their power?”  Something in our past has opened the door for them.  It is for us to determine what and exorcise their power.

Fear and doubt usually come from negative voices that speak in our ear from the past or present influences in our lives.

Anxious care gains access through our legitimate need for security.  Our brain is, after all, wired for our protection.

Human reasoning is just a liar.  “Can’t” is a useless word.  “Can’t” has an empty resume.  It has done nothing.  We who desire to achieve must eliminate it from our vocabulary!

Consider the source of these and go on the offensive against them.  As part of your daily growth routine, include activities that negate their effect and take action to have confidence, self-assurance, balanced care for the concerns of the day—consider these opportunities rather than challenges or barriers, and have a(n) (ir)rational sense that nothing is impossible!  Carpe momento!

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”—Dale Carnegie

 

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”—Zig Ziglar

Setting goals are, no doubt, important, but is it the achievement of the goal that is most important?  Perhaps the best answer is “yes and no”.  It is important that we have and achieve goals, but the process in the pursuit is no less important.

I have mentioned before that Coyte Cooper (Make Your Mark, www.coytecooper.com) puts a twist on the concepts of S.M.A.R.T. goals, suggesting that goals should be “not reasonable by normal expectations”.  In other words, our goals should extend just beyond our (perceived) reach.  We must strive to do what is not seen as reasonably possible. Perhaps, we won’t reach our goal, by chances are we will achieve more than we thought possible.  Clearly, falling a little short on a lofty goal is less desirable than falling short of a small, easily attainable goal.  I just finished reading No Excuses by Kyle Maynard.  Here is a guy who took “not reasonable by normal expectations” to the extreme, fell short, but kicked the butt of expectations, achieving incredible success.

Process is important.  What we learn in pursuing—and especially in failing at—our goals will have lasting effects. This does not, of course, mean that we concern ourselves less about the goal itself.  It simply means that we emphasize both the process and the fulfillment of the goal.

My Mastermind group is dominated by collegiate wrestling coaches.  (I am the only academic—and the least accomplished wrestler.) Yesterday, Andy Lausier (Sacred Heart University Head Wrestling Coach) commented that: “the desire to win is an undeniable fact”.  In other words, success is the desired outcome, therefore one must focus on how he or she performs.  Indeed, focusing only on the desired outcome—winning—can potentially interfere with peak performance. This reminded me of a number of conversations I have had recently and where my mind has actually been lately.  Coaches and academics—and pretty much anyone in a leadership role–are challenged with the balance of setting the bar for success and promoting long-term growth.  Leadership is a transformational proposition.  In leading others, and in our own growth processes, the emphasis must be to be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Two words have come up repeatedly in recent conversations.  These are “gratitude” and “opportunity”.  These are the “process” piece of goal setting.  When we pursue goals from a perspective of continuous improvement, the outcome becomes less important that the pursuit of the outcome.

As a leader—coach, teacher, manager, etc.—our interactions must be transformational rather than transactional.  Winning (i.e., the goal of winning) is a given—an undeniable fact.  But it is what happens in the process that is most important.

Welcome the process.  Receive the opportunity to pursue success with gratitude.  Receive the outcome—whatever it might be—as an opportunity to learn and be grateful for the lesson.  There is a saying that “in wrestling there are only winners and learners”.  The same is true for life.  In life, you are succeeding or you are growing.  Anything else, you aren’t participating.

Set big goals for yourself, but seek “process goals” along the way.  Dream big and welcome the lessons along the way.  If you seek that which is not reasonable by normal expectations, there is no prospect of failure.  Only two potential options remain—success or a new lesson learned.  Along the way there is much about yourself you will discover.  As Theodore Roosevelt famously said: “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”  The one who never dares to accept the challenge or to take the road less traveled misses out on the opportunities and experiences that are waiting for those with the heart to receive them.  Carpe momento!

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”—Confucius

 

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”—Ralph Marston

I have come to a place where I understand that everyone and every interaction/event in our lives has brought us to where we are now.  Some (perhaps, many) of these are events that I regret.  The temptation might be to want a “do-over”, but I would not change any of these for what might have occurred to myself and others had these events happened.

I want to look back in life with gratitude and move forward.  There are no “glory days”.  There are no regrets or “what ifs?”.  There is only today.

Tomorrow will be what it will be based upon today’s decisions.  Carpe momento.

This attitude permits one to learn lessons from the past, enjoy the past for what it was, and live today.  There is no time to look back and dwell on the past.  Memories are wonderful (and may be painful), but they can’t be changed.  Yesterday was what it was.  We are where we are because of past decisions (our own and those of others) that we can’t change.  So, why stress over what cannot be un-done?  Focus on what is yet to be done.  We must focus on the decisions we have to make this moment and only these decisions.

I am truly thankful for everyone who has touched my life.  Perhaps, at the time, it might not have been a pleasant experience, but, today, I am who and what I am because of these people.  I celebrate the past, but live in the now.  This gives me a different perspective on the present.  What happens now and in the moments, minutes, hours, and days to come may be out of our control, but how we act/react is wholly within our control.  Carpe momento!

Today is an opportunity to appreciate where we are in life and the people who are journeying with us.  Today is an opportunity to affect lives and motivate others.  Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”—Og Mandino

 

“My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season.”–Unkown

Did you get enough to eat?  Most of us were overfed the last few days.  Weight management took a brief vacation, eh?  Now, it is time to get on track, again—before the next wave of holiday overindulgence.

So, you went a bit overboard.  All is not lost.  The key is to remember that it is our lifelong habits that shape our bodies—literally.  It is not the events of a few days.  How about this: give a scale a brief vacation and focus on getting back to your healthy habits (or getting to healthy habits, if you have not been eating right and exercising).

First, don’t punish yourself for indulging in some delicious food and drink.  Focus on the healthy habits that have the long-term affect on your Physical well-being.

Second, don’t think you can redeem your behavior by depriving yourself.  Eat healthy.  Don’t go looking for the latest fad diet.

Weight management is a lifestyle.  According to the “setpoint” theory, your body will naturally adjust to the minor indiscretions of the Thanksgiving Holiday.  You don’t have to force your weight to adjust.

K.I.S.S. is not just a great rock band.  K.I.S.S. is the acronym for Keep It Simple Stupid.  In other words, don’t overcomplicate this diet and exercise thing.  Maybe focus on a just slightly more aggressive approach to losing fat in preparation for the destructive storm that is coming between December 24^th and January 2^nd.  I call it “preemptive fat loss”.

During the weeks between the holidays, be a bit more calorie-restrictive.  Cut a couple hundred extra calories out of your normal plan and add a little more exercise and physical activity.  Don’t go extreme, though.

Choose your foods wisely.  Be a bit more restrictive of carbohydrates (maybe cutting 0.5 grams per pound of body weight)—maintaining sufficient carbohydrates to fuel your level of activity.  Limit sugary foods and drinks.  Focus of nutrient dense, low calorie foods.  Eat a lot of filling veggies and salads.  Get adequate protein—at least a palm-size serving of protein per meal.  Eat two thumb-sized servings of healthy fats with each meal, as well.  Drink a lot of water—no calories here, and filling up on water can ward off hunger pangs (not to mention increase physical activity with frequent trips to the bathroom!).  Cut the foods that are calorie dense and not necessary for good health—i.e., limit desserts!  Cutting out sweets will make them less appealing and more rewarding come the next round of holiday celebrations.

Exercise!  If your health and fitness levels permit, do a few sessions of high-intensity interval training a week.  Lift weights.  Both of these activities will have a greater affect on fat-burning than long, continuous-intensity “cardio” sessions.  Sweat, but don’t sweat the details.  Just move as much as possible.

Limit alcohol consumption between the holidays—maybe a bit more than usual.  A few tips: a shot of liquor is roughly 100 kcals (add high calorie liquids and calories can soar); a 5-ounce glass of wine has 125 kcal; and beer can range widely.  With beer, I consider that, for every %ABV, there are 30 kcal in a 12-ounce glass/bottle.  Calories can add up quickly.  Many craft beers are 7-8% ABV (or higher!).  This is 210-240 kcal per 12 oz serving (280-320 kcal per pint!!). Choosing a good tasting session-style beer (4-5% ABV) can save 120-160 kcal per pint!

The biggest factor to consider in body fat management is caloric balance: eucaloric (calories in = calories out) leads to a stable body weight; hypercaloric (calories in > calories out) leads to weight gain; and hypocaloric (calories in < calories out) leads to weight loss.  You will want to be in a slightly greater hypocaloric state, if your long-term goal is fat loss.  (Thus, the inevitable holiday hypercaloric indulgences will be less damaging to the long-term progress.)  If you are already at a healthy weight, you are fine to be a bit more eucaloric.  Allowing yourself to gradually turn down your “setpoint” body weight between holidays will limit the destructiveness of the holidays to your body composition.  If, however, you allow the holidays to stretch from November through the New Year, the excess calories will move the numbers up on the scale.

Patience.  You will have opportunity to enjoy what the holiday chefs and bakers have in store—in moderation—soon enough.

Tonight is my high school reunion.  Keystone Oaks High School Class of 1981!!  I am excited to go.  It is a chance I get every 5 years to catch up with old friends—and, in many cases, new old friends.

Reunions can serve two purposes: 1) to reminisce about the “glory days”, and 2) to experience the present from the perspective of the past.  I choose the latter.  For one thing, I am not sure I really had any “glory days”.  I had some great times in high school and have some wonderful memories, but I’d like to think that I have moved on.  I like to believe the “glory days” are now and yet to come.

I have had regrettable experiences in my growing years—many missed and blown opportunities.  Thankfully, these are all in the past.  There is no time to dwell on the past, when the present and future are before us.  Carpe momento!

Over the last nearly decade, we have learned to use social media—we, a generation who had only snail mail and phones with cords with which to communicate.  While there is so much misuse of social media, I have found it to be about the only way to stay connected to people I have known over the years.  I have lived in many places, and friends have, likewise, moved around the globe.  Among my social media friends are a growing number of high school classmates who I knew to varying degrees when I was in school.  Most of them are people I would say were not my closest friends in school.  Some, of course, were close friends—at least at different times in my growing years.

While there will be some at the reunion who will only have the past to talk about, most of my friends will be focused on the present.  It is not the past that is important.  It is the memories we make and share now that bind us.

I love my reunions, not because I can relive the past.  I love my reunions, because I get to share the present under the lens of a common past.  As I said, I have had regrettable experiences, but there is not one that I would change—tempting as it might be.  We are all were we are because of these regrettable and memorable moments.  Why change the past when we have the present?  I like to think that I am better today than I was then (I’d better be!)

I am who I am because of everyone I will see this weekend.  I had some small part in who they are, as well.  To some, I certainly owe apologies for things I have done or said, but certainly it is what I do today that has the greatest impact.  I enjoy the fact that the past is passed.  We have all had experiences beyond high school and are involved in lives that are presently worth celebrating.

I just want to conclude this post with an expression of gratitude for all who have affected me over the many years.  I am who I am because of you.  Thank you!

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”—Melody Beattie

 

If you don’t like your current circumstances, you have three choices: 1) leave, 2) change, or 3) accept.  It has taken me a while to realize this, but accepting is most often the best option.  This may sound weak and defeated, but hear me out.

Eight years ago, we moved half way across the country with a 5-month-old and an 11-year-old to a new state and new jobs.  We felt, at the time, a sense of calling to this new life.  It wasn’t all that long before I started to feel a sense of deep frustration.  The job wasn’t all that I hoped it would be and, well, the west coast is a bit different than the east coast and Midwest.  We had left friends and family behind, and I began to think opportunity, as well.  In such circumstances, it is easy to fall into a negative spiral.  Fortunately, with the help of friends and the positive leadership of a mastermind group and mentors, I was able to regain my footing and consider why I found myself where I am.

For the longest time “leave” was my desired option.  The question was, however, “to where?”  My options were rather limited, which fueled my frustration and the negative pull in my life.

“Change” remains an option, but change cannot occur without “acceptance”.  To facilitate change, one must accept that one is where one is supposed to be and that one’s purpose is to be an agent for change.  Otherwise, any effort to change one’s circumstances—especially when the resistance is great—becomes a battle which brings its own negative forces.

Acceptance requires a sense of Spiritual well-centeredness.  Acceptance requires that one recognize that he or she is not the only one affected by finding one’s self where one is.  Unless completely unattached from anyone (in which case, “leave” may very well be an option), there are certainly other reasons for being where you are.

As I considered the “opportunities” that present themselves to me where I am, right now, it did not take long for me to realize that the “opportunities” are not for me and only me.  I have a wife and two children.  I have students.  I have neighbors and friends.  I have colleagues and a university.  I have more than myself who are impacted by my being exactly where I am at exactly this time.  When we can swallow our egos and recognize that we are not the center of the Universe, we can begin to see that maybe, just maybe, we are were we are for someone else’s benefit.

I began to realize this.  I began to see that maybe the Universe didn’t give a crap about me.  Maybe I am in the circumstances so that my wife, son, and/or daughter might have the experiences and relationships that they required.  It was humbling.  But, the more I considered my “opportunities”, the more it became apparent that the friends, teachers, and coaches with whom my children were interacting were having a profound affect on shaping who they are becoming.  It isn’t all about my present and future.  It is about the lives that touch us—dare I say must touch us—and the lives we touch.  The more I considered this, the more it came back to me being where I am supposed to be.

Accepting where we are is freeing.  It frees us of frustration and regret.  We need no longer look backward and ask: “What if?”  We need only ask: “What now?”  There is no longer a desire to change the past.  There is no longer a desire to change the future.  There is only acceptance that we are doing what we need to be doing right now.  If we are striving to be a positive impact on others and doing our very best, we can ask nothing more of ourselves.

In accepting where I am, I have found I am more positive.  I approach the day with greater enthusiasm.  I am more appreciative of others.  I am more supportive.  I have greater gratitude.  Moreover, I find that I am in a better position to change my circumstances.  I have no desire to leave.  Rather, I am excited for what is to come.

If you are dissatisfied with where you are.  Accept your circumstances and consider the “opportunities” that are presenting themselves.  Seize hold of the opportunities and go forward willingly.

Carpe momento!!

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”—Henry Van Dyke

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays of the year.  Partly because I love to eat, but mostly because it is an expression of what we should show every day.  It is a splendid time to gather with family and friends and be thankful.

At Thanksgiving, it is not what we have on the table for which we should be thankful—though for many there might be nothing to put on the table.  The true blessing of Thanksgiving is who is around the table.  Let us be thankful for family, friends, and neighbors.  The food is just whipped cream on the pumpkin pie.

With football, cooking, and family dynamics, we can easily be distracted from the intent of the day.  The intent is to express our gratitude.  For some, this is not always easy.

Ask yourself—for what am I thankful?

Today will be nothing overly profound, just the expression thanksgiving.

• I am thankful for my faith—that I am not so bound up in religiosity as to lose sight of my calling.
• I am thankful for my family—though mine is scattered they are with me everywhere.
• I am thankful for friends—those who are near and far; all who profoundly influence me daily.
• I am thankful for my neighbors—be they friend or foe.
• I am thankful for the impetus to grow—for the inclination to be my best today and be better tomorrow.
• I am thankful for my health and the opportunity to help others find a path to well-being.
• I am thankful for the opportunity to have an impact on others and have a role in shaping my world.

These are the turkey and sweet potatoes.  Anything else I might receive—money, material things, fame—these are the dessert.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Carpe momento!

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.”—Henry David Thoreau

 

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you needing inspiration?  I would say that, more than occasionally, we need to be inspired.  From the moment we awaken to a new day, we are in want of inspiration.  If we are not, then what are we doing?

We, mostly, begin the day with good intentions.  Hopefully, we have a morning routine—we journal, we set goals, we plan, etc.  But, with the fast pace of our society and the barrage of distractions, we can easily lose track of our direction and purpose and get caught in the current of the day.  The next thing we know we have been swept down stream, unsure what we have really accomplished.

We might try to keep our motivation level high with strategically placed quotes and the like, but often we are moving too fast to notice.  We get so energized to make an impact and to succeed that we get the engines revved up, and we are full-throttle the rest of the day.

Whether you are one who is swept up in the current or one who goes pedal-to-the metal (saving the mixed metaphors here!), you are missing opportunities, if you don’t slow it down a bit and experience what might be going on around you.

One of the greatest challenges I face in my pursuit of well-centered fitness is making time for a productive pause, midday.  I can easily be caught up in unproductive distractions—Facebook, e-mail, etc.—i.e., I can get sucked into the current.  I need to hit a “pause” button and refocus.

The idea of a productive pause is nothing new.  I first heard the phrase from Jim Harshaw (“Success Through Failure” podcast) and have seen similar ideas presented elsewhere.  For many of us, we might have a more natural inclination to hit the pause button when we get to moving too fast.  Others of us might just keep charging forward. 

There are numerous reasons why one might want—or need—to take a regular cycle of pause during the day (e.g., the basic rest-activity cycle), and getting some movement or changing activities ever 90-minutes or so can be warranted to maintain alertness, but the idea of a productive pause has further implications for one’s effectiveness.

Jim Harshaw considers the productive pause an opportunity to regain focus and clarity.  Certainly, this is can done with the morning routine (and can be followed by a pause prior to going to bed to sleep), but I find midday to be another important—and most difficult time—to hit the pause button.  Midday is a time when a multitude of forces are acting on us to throw us off course—to distract and discourage us.  Midday is an excellent time for a brief (15-minute or so) reset.

As difficult as it can be, I try to schedule a break in the day when I can have 15 minutes of undisturbed quiet time to close my eyes and meditate and prayerfully reflect on the day.  Sometimes, it is helpful to just sit and listen for inspiration.

We are always rushing, and technology has allowed us to fill our down time with “stuff”.  Dr. Bridgett Ross refers to “vanishing pause time” (http://rosspsychology.com/blog/vanishing-pause-time).  This is the notion “that with the immense time-saving benefits of technology also comes the loss of time to reflect, relax, breath, collect oneself…pause.”  I see it with my students.  If I give them a break during class, they immediately pull out the phones rather than talk or simply consider what we have just discussed.  Most of us are no different.  We frequently check our social media, e-mail, test messages, etc.

The “productive pause”, I suggest, is a time to turn devices off and let our minds go to a deeper place—a place where we can be inspired and recharged.  I like to think of it as listening for the voice of God for inspiration.  It is not a time to let one’s mind race through the things one needs to do.  Rather is a time for deep breathing exercises, recitation of one’s mantras, prayer, and/or just quiet thought.  It takes effort at first.  It takes quite a bit of discipline, actually.  When I take the time, though, and can get to that place, some of my best inspiration comes.  The challenge is to make the time.

We need take heed of how we spend our down time.  Not all of it needs to be “productive”.  We need not add stress to our lives by trying to relieve stress.  Take some time to just relax, but allow for some of this to be “productive” in the sense that it contributes to your “well-centered fitness” and your growth plan.  Seek inspiration in music, podcasts, and even television, but allow yourself to indulge in some beneficial “me time”.

Carpe momento!

“To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.”—Tony Dorsett

“You cannot measure a man by his failures. You must know what use he makes of them. What did they mean to him. What did he get out of them.”–Orison Swett Marden

Failure gets a bum rap.  Failure carries a negative connotation with most people.  In reality, though, we will ALL fail from time to time.  If you haven’t failed, you haven’t tried anything substantial.

What do you make of failure?  “Failure is always an option” (Cael Sonnen), but it is what you choose to do with failure that is most important.

We often say that no one sets out to fail, and, in the broadest sense, no one really does, but…. Why not?  Why are we afraid to fail?  Should we be afraid to fail?  Personally, think we should be in greater fear of not failing.

Wrestling season is underway.  My son has moved up to the “Elite” level of his local club team.  Until this year, he had practices twice a week, and the purpose was to emphasize the fundamentals and to develop a love of the sport.  This season, he joins the boys and girls who have been wrestling for a while and who have been competing at a much higher level.  He won’t admit it, but he is a bit intimidated.  Thankfully, he has phenomenal coaching and loves the sport.  Nonetheless, I sense his trepidation.

This will probably not be his best season of club wrestling—though, he always surprises me.  He is a tenacious kid.  He shows very little emotion, except when he gets frustrated.  So, I tell him every practice to “go into the room and fail”.

I know I am a great parent, right?

Hear me out.  I want my son to fail at this level (at least in practice).  Why?  Because, if he is failing he is giving 100%.  If he fails, it means he has challenged himself.  If he fails, now, in practice, he will have the confidence to try things when it really counts.  If he fails, now, he is learning what doesn’t work.  He is discovering his weaknesses and working on those.  If he only works to his strengths, eventually, the kid who is working on resolving his weaknesses will surpass him.  I ultimately want him to succeed when it matters—and that isn’t necessarily on the wrestling mat.

We all need to take this approach.  As the saying goes: “If you fall on your face, at least you are moving forward.”

Life is not about taking the easy path.  Life—a life that is truly lived—is about challenge and overcoming.  Life is growth!  Be your best today; be better tomorrow REQUIRES that you extend your limits.

We cannot walk or run without going outside of our base of support.  Locomotion is essentially a cycle of falling and catching one’s self.  Biomechanically, when we walk we lean forward until our center of mass falls outside of our base of support—i.e., we lose our balance and fall forward.  We catch our balance with the leading foot, and repeat.  This is progress.  This moves one forward.

So, why live life on stable footing.  As long as we stay within our comfort zone (i.e., our base of support), we don’t move.  If we don’t move, we go nowhere!

Switching sports: Michael Jordan is said to have always worked to his weaknesses in practice.  I wonder where that got him?

Thomas Edison—not a wrestler, as far as I know—famously “failed” in roughly 10,000 attempts to invent the light bulb.  Do we call him a “failure”?  We call him a genius!

If you never fail at anything, you are living a rather ordinary life.  If you dare to fail on a regular basis, I would call that (extra)ordinary.  Keep failing.  Great things are sure to come.

Carpe momento!!

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”—Thomas Edison

“Ruin is the destination toward which all men rush, each pursuing his own best interest in a society that believes in the freedom of the commons.”—Garrett Hardin

One of the most meaningful assignments I ever did in college was a paper my sophomore year or so in a Geography course that was on the “Tragedy of the Commons” by Garrett Hardin.  (I still have the paper.)  In the “Tragedy of the Commons”, Hardin focuses on sustainability, shared-resources, population growth, etc., but I have found that this one assignment has shaped my thinking in many more ways and has some role in the development of my vision of “well-centered fitness”.  Certainly, at the heart of Spiritual well-centeredness in the idea of a communal responsibility in the universe.  Of course, some of the concepts presented by Hardin are arguable, but the notion of responsibility remains, and, hence, the paper has come to mind frequently over my last 30+ years.

It came to mind recently in a discussion about higher education.  In my opinion, we educators tend to give lip service to the notion of “liberal studies” and preparation for public life beyond career preparation.  There is a tendency to speak of a broad educational experience until we are asked to let go of control of our own courses and curriculum.  This is a much deeper argument than I intend to make here, but it sparked my thinking about Spiritual well-centeredness (or lack thereof) and trends in our society.

The great divisions that we are seeing socially and politically are a battle for control of the “Commons”.  It is anything but Spiritual.  These divisions are far from “well”.  There is sense of “us against them” and an unwillingness to share and cooperate.  Frankly, I thought we were taught about sharing in Kindergarden.

The “Commons” and Spiritual well-centered fitness are not about compromising one’s values.  Rather these are about respect and responsibility toward others.  Respect of others seems to be of limited supply in society.  Neither you nor I or any of our collective group is the center of the Universe.  Thus, we are not the lords of the commons.  (The very notion of a commons would dictate as much.)

Our role in the Commons is to sustain the Commons.  We need to recognize that others can contribute in ways we cannot and that our differences are not resolved by attacking the opposition, but by, as Stephen Covey wrote, “seeking first to understand and then to be understood.”  We cannot do this if we don’t begin from a place of respect.

Division is fueled by division.  To become “well-centered”, we have to begin by understanding that we are not at the “center”.  We must recognize that we are interdependent and that society loses when we take the divide-and-conquer approach.

You believe your position to be correct?  Prove it to be so by your actions.  Don’t try to force it upon others.

I have grown to view wellness as a pyramid of interdependent dimensions (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social).  I have described the base of the pyramid as being Spiritual and Physical.  The Intellectual dimension is built upon these.  Social forms the peak of the pyramid, and the Emotional dimension serves as a sort of cornerstone.  All are of equal standing, but we mature and flourish when we structure our pursuit as such.

Freedom is a funny thing.  We speak of being free, but one is never truly free when others are not likewise free.

Carpe momento!

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.”—Bob Dylan