Author: armstrong.wou@gmail.com

“The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.”–Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I reconnected with an old friend from high school yesterday. We really didn’t run in the same circles in high school and, I confess, that I wasn’t always the nicest person to this and other classmates. We had a lot of catching up to do after 40+ years. The conversation has me reflecting on the true meaning of and need for friendship.

Some of my closest “friends” from high school (and other periods in life) barely give me the time of day anymore. Instead, I find that many I did not treat the best or to whom show the most interest in youth are the ones who seem the quickest to buoy me up when I need it.

True friendship, I am seeing, requires the capacity to forgive and to not dwell in the past. True friends exist in the present. True friends can pick up where a relationship left off—even after decades of separation. I am grateful for these people.

I am grateful for the people who can forgive me for the times I was ignorant and self-absorbed. I am grateful for the people who give for the sake of giving. I am grateful for the people who teach me to be other-centered. I am grateful for the people who see the good in me despite myself.

Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote that “our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst, but the best of our nature.” I don’t wholly agree. I would say that our most intimate friend is one to whom we show our worst, but who still sees the best of our nature.

“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings.”—Jean de la Bruyere

Better are the friends who can forgive our greatest failings. We are not (or should not) be the persons we were in our youth. As we grow, we outgrow the “friends” of convenience and selfishness. Maturity is a process much like gardening—we weed and prune our “gardens.” Weeds crowd out healthy plants (i.e., relationships). Pruning is selectively choosing who will have influence in our lives. Often our “garden” is full of dormant seeds waiting for the conditions to be right to sprout. I have never been much of a gardener, but I am trying to learn.

Grattitude to the many who are helping me become a better person. I am grateful that your memories are short and that you can teach me what friendship is.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!

“Facing fear leads to change and helps to build character in a way that is totally unique. Don’t shy away from the weight when it gets heavy, or when doubt enters your mind. Remember that it’s supposed to be this way – it’s what you signed up for, and ultimately will make you harder to kill.”—Steve Ross

I read a good article this week: “Fear in Barbell Training (and How to Overcome it).” It made several key points that are relevant to life, as well as weight training:

With Growth Comes Fear.

Fear of Injury.

Fear of Failure.

Fear of Pushing Through Discomfort.

Years ago, someone showed me that Jesus thought of four enemies of faith. These can be applied as four enemies of growth or of any measure of success in life. They are fear (Matthew 8:26), doubt (Matthew 14:31), anxious care (Matthew 6:30), and human reasoning (Matthew 16:8). We don’t grow because we won’t, not because we can’t.

A basic principle of adaptation in exercise physiology is the overload principle—for a body system to adapt it must be stressed to a level greater than that to which it is accustomed. This is certain in weight training, and it is certain in life.

Growth—Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social—demands that we take risks (i.e., risk being hurt, risk failure, risk embarrassment, risk loss, etc.). Naturally, with risk comes fear. Those who are to be successful don’t shy away from fear. They face fear and proceed with wisdom and a healthy level of discomfort.

It is overcoming fear that is our greatest obstacle in life. Faith and confidence are not blind. There will be failures on the path to success—there must be. Fear is not a human emotion designed to limit us. It is designed to protect us—from injury (not failure or discomfort). It causes us to think before we act. It should not cause us not to act.

We overcome fear by facing it. We overcome it by stepping toward that which limits us. Baby steps toward success (“progressive overload”). In time, discomfort becomes comfortable—in other words, we learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Fear is inevitable. Growth is not. Growth requires action. “Don’t shy away from the weight when it gets heavy, or when doubt enters your mind.” Take life one repetition at a time.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it’s almost always due to personal growth.”—John C. Maxwell

Considering the concept of kaizen—the Japanese word that has come to be associated with “continuous improvement”—it is easy to think one is failing when they are not seeing significant growth. Growth—that is, the progression Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially toward “well-centered fitness”—is never linear. Growth follows more of a parabolic curve toward an asymptote. Change initially brings rapid growth, but growth slows over time. It is when progress slows that most people lose interest and effort diminishes. It is often when we believe it is “mission accomplished”, and we stop working toward the goal.

In exercise physiology, we have the principle of reversibility—“use it or lose it.” For some, age and/time are the excuse for this. It is mostly a lack of effort. Our progress reverts to some rate of decline.

Growth is sometimes the maintenance of progress—the “keep keeping on.” There comes a time when our growth mindset becomes apparent by our progressive separation from our peers. This is most easily seen in the physiological changes of aging (e.g., the maintenance of muscle mass and lean body composition v. muscle wasting [sarcopenia] and creeping body fat). But we can see it, as well, in our Spiritual, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social well-being.

Separation is a choice—just as growth (kaizen) is a choice. Growth is as much and attitude as it is a measurable progress. Sometimes “better tomorrow” is simply “as good as yesterday” for us as we progress toward the asymptote.

“Great performers are, by definition, abnormal; they strive throughout their entire careers to separate themselves from the pack.”—John Eliot

We must challenge ourselves daily to separate ourselves from the pack. With grattitude, we must….

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

Yesterday, I learned that Jimmy Buffett passed. Apparently, I ruined some friends’ weekend by sharing the news.

When performers die—especially musicians—it seems like a bit of our youth passes, as well. Music, like smell and taste, is so closely tied to our memories. Songs take us back to persons and places—to times in our memories that remain so vivid it is like we have traveled back in time. Jimmy Buffett, for me, is my first weekend in college at WVU, The Touch, my first college friend, Dave, Tuborg beer, and Billy Squire (who also takes me back to that evening). Countless bands and songs take me to times and people. Sometimes, the connection is clear. Many times, the connection is confusing (e.g., the Who’s “Baba O’Reilly” and a friend, Paul, from high school). Some memories are pleasant. Some are less so.

There are songs that just insist that we sing along—“Margaritaville” from Mr. Jimmy Buffett. As a WVU grad, it is John Denver’s Country road. Who among the late Boomers and early GenXers can sit quietly for “Freebird”, “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “We are the Champions”, “Eye of the Tiger”, etc. We “Fight for Our Right to Party.” We dance in the “Purple Rain” and know that “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” We “turn it up” on command when “Sweet Home Alabama” is played.

Music is such a part of our “well-centered fitness.” It connects us Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially. We sing songs/hymns in worship. We have our workout music. We are challenged with every song to guess the artist and remember the lyrics. Music makes us smile. Music makes us cry. Music takes us where we haven’t been in what seems like forever. Music unites us.

I grew up in an era in which the music is enjoyed by at least three generation. I am sure the music and artists of today are making connections with our youth, but (for the most part) my music is “classic”—classic rock, classic country, etc. Whatever the generation or the genre, music (good or bad) is connecting us. Connections are what we need in today’s society.

Rest in peace in Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

I have been thinking a lot about the impact I have (or don’t have) on others. It is an important part of my mission statement, and, frankly, I often feel that I am having little effect. Thankfully, I get reminders in my periods of deepest doubt. (Grattitude to Zach and Jordawn for their recent uplifting support.) I think we all have a desire to have an impact—a “legacy”, to “leave our mark”, etc. We all have our doubts, as well.

Success is not something we achieve in isolation. It can be said that we succeed in life by reaching up and reaching down. This means that achieving success involves both seeking guidance, inspiration, and mentorship from those who are more accomplished or experienced (reaching up) and offering support, guidance, and mentorship to others who may be in need (reaching down). It also means that encouragement is a two-way path.

Reaching up is the act of seeking out role models, mentors, and individuals who have achieved what we aspire to achieve. They can provide guidance, knowledge, and inspiration to help us grow, learn, and progress on our own journey towards success. It involves challenging ourselves, as well, but allowing ourselves to risk fail by competing with those who are better or more experienced than we are. Reaching up involves recognizing that we can benefit from the wisdom and experience of those who have already achieved what we desire.

Reaching down involves extending a helping hand to those who may need support, guidance, or mentorship. It involves sharing our knowledge, experiences, and resources to uplift and empower others. Reaching down allows us to make a positive impact on others’ lives and contribute to their growth and success. Reaching down is also accepting the risk (and dare I say, expecting) that those will help today might exceed us tomorrow.

By both reaching up and reaching down, we create an environment of learning, growth, and support. We expand our own knowledge and skills by seeking experience of others, while contributing to the lives of those who may benefit from our knowledge and experience. This mutual support fosters personal development, builds meaningful relationships, and creates a positive ripple effect in both our own lives and the lives of others. From a team perspective, everyone benefits. We learn and grow together.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

I asked ChatGPT for a definition of “well-centered fitness”—a common theme on this blog. I was curious with what artificial intelligence (AI) would come up with. “Well-centered fitness”, after all, is a wholly human construct. Here is ChatGPT’s definition:

“’Well-centered fitness’ is a term that typically refers to a holistic approach to physical well-being and health. It emphasizes not only the development of physical strength and endurance but also the cultivation of mental and emotional balance. This approach recognizes the interconnectedness of physical, mental, and emotional health, and it aims to promote overall wellness and vitality.

Key components of well-centered fitness may include:

1. Physical Exercise: Engaging in regular physical activity to build strength, improve cardiovascular health, and enhance flexibility and mobility.

2. Mental Well-being: Incorporating practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga to promote mental clarity, reduce stress, and enhance focus.

3. Nutrition: Paying attention to dietary choices that support physical health and overall well-being.

4. Emotional Health: Developing emotional intelligence and resilience to manage stress, anxiety, and other emotional challenges.

5. Rest and Recovery: Prioritizing adequate sleep and relaxation to allow the body and mind to recover and regenerate.

6. Lifestyle Choices: Making choices that align with one’s values and contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life.

7. Holistic Approach: Viewing fitness as a holistic concept where physical, mental, and emotional aspects are interconnected and equally important.

The idea behind well-centered fitness is to achieve a harmonious balance in all these areas, ultimately leading to a healthier and more fulfilling life. It’s a departure from a purely physical or aesthetic focus on fitness and places a greater emphasis on overall well-being and quality of life.”

I typically define the components of well-centered fitness as Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly), ChatGPT made no reference to the Spiritual or the Social dimensions. Two dimensions that I would argue are essential to the well-being of humans.

A common question regarding AI is whether it will do away with creative writing. I think (at least for now) that is unlikely. (Writers for television and movies who are worried that AI is taking their jobs should be asking themselves “why?”. Indeed, we should all be asking why we are willing to consume entertainment that is lacking human creativity—frankly, any creativity.)

For an upcoming episode of The Aging Well Podcast, my co-host, Corbin, and I asked ChatGPT for quotes that inspire successful aging and compared these to our own “top ten.” The selections from the AI software were quite shallow and generic. We noted that AI lacked what we labeled as “EI” or “emotional intelligence.”

Humans are social creatures. We need to have health relationships. It might seem that software does not (yet?) perceive this need.

The Spiritual dimension of well-centered fitness emphasizes the understanding that there is Purpose to our existence that we are not the center of the universe. This cannot be comprehended by computer software.

AI might mimic human emotion, but it cannot express it. We, alone, as human, can feel and express emotion—can recognize the interconnectedness of the Spiritual and Social dimensions of wellness, as well as the Physical, Intellectual, and Emotional. If we forget this, our existence will truly be in peril.

Can AI take the place of human creativity? I hope not.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”—Eleanor Roosevelt

We are the sum of our decisions. We are not the product of our environment, per se. Rather we are shaped by our response to our environment—our choices.

We will be what we decide to do in this moment and each subsequent moment. Victims look back. Survivors, over-comers, and people with Purpose look forward.

Indeed, we are shaped by the impact of others in our life—those who have come before us and those seeming distant and detached from us, as well as those in our immediate environment. We cannot escape how others affect us. We can, however, determine the effect others have on us. A wise man (Dr. Geoffrey Mount Varner) recently shared with me the wisdom of his mother:

“Respond to the world the way it is versus how it should be while working on a world as it should be.”

We become a person who will change the world by not dwelling on the past. We become that person my making smart choices in the moment and making choices shape the future. A changed world is a product of our cumulative responsibilities.

Choose to shape the self and the world you desire.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its prime function of looking forward.”–Margaret Fairless Barber

My family and I just returned home from a vacation to Ireland and Scotland. My wife got to meet distant relations in Galway who she had never met and see the statue of Pádraic Ó Conaire (another relative) and the church her grandmother attended. I got to visit Gilnockie Tower of the Armstrong Clan. There were cemeteries, churches, schools, palaces, etc. that pointed our children to the past that has shaped us. (My son wished that we could have seen more of the history that speaks to the Viking roots that run in this family tree—the Armstrong clan, as well as the Irish heritage have Nordic beginnings.) Though not a Scottish or Irish quote, I am reminded of the following:

“We are not makers of history. We are made by history.”—Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is important to consider how the past has shaped us—to look from where we came. It is important to know our history (the good and the bad), to honor it, and to have grattitude regarding it.

The motto of Clan Armstrong is invictus maneo (I remain unvanquished). It is a part of me. It is a part of my children and will be a part of their children. It became a part of my wife when we married (we included a ceremonial passing of the tartan that formally recognized this in our wedding). Likewise, I am forever joined to the Wrights and Nobles and rest of my wife’s family and my lineage in Ireland/Scotland and beyond.

I have often referred to the quote by Per Olaf Åstrand: “If you want to be an elite athlete, choose your parents wisely.” While, perhaps, we don’t actually “choose” our parents, we are a product of every generation that came before. This includes the experiences, as well as the genes. (I am increasingly fascinated by the growing field of epigenetics.) It is a blessing to know our past—to know how it has shaped our present and will continue to impact our future.

There was a sense of “home” in our ancestral lands, but, moreover, there was a grattitude for the home to which returned. Our children got a glimpse of who they are and a greater appreciation for who they are becoming. The roots of family run deep. It is a blessing to be able to know and understand these (knowing that for many the past is not well-known). As Marcus Garvey wrote: “A people without the knowledge of their past, origin, and culture is like a tree with no roots.”

To the extent that we can, we must learn of our past—individually, as well as a collective society. (I also had the opportunity to read The Fourth Turning is Here by Neil Howe during our travels—hence an even greater focus on the generations of past and present.) As I learn from the past, I learn even more to….

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”—Albert Schweitzer

I write this blog, frankly, for myself. It is quite often driven by my own need for motivation and correction in my life. We all need to have our inner spirit attended to. My desire is that, in sharing the thoughts and stories that fuel my inner fire, I might in some small way rekindle the fire in some others.

Anyone who has gone camping and/or attended a bonfire knows that a fire needs fuel and needs regular care to be maintained. Our inner fire is no different. It needs fuel. It needs to be stoked from time to time. We can keep the fire stoked by….

Associating with people who support, encourage, inspire, and motivate us.

Reading the works of inspirational writers and thinkers.

Seeking out stories of inspirational persons.

Journaling—writing down or thoughts and aspirations.

Having a goal mindset.

Meditation—envisioning that which we most want in life.

Failing (i.e., striving beyond our current capabilities).

Being the kindling for others.

Etc.

Search out motivation and be a motivator. Encourage others and you will be encouraged. Know that if your inner fire can go out from time to time so, then, can the fire of those you encounter. Sometimes, sharing what little energy we have left is just what we need to be reenergized.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” – Roy T. Bennett

What does carpe momento mean? Of course, it is the Latin phrase for “seize the moment,” but its meaning runs deeper. It is an attitude of life. It is a challenge. It is a state of Emotional well-centeredness.

Life moves forward. It moves forward with the push of the past and the pull of the future. Where is moves depends upon the decisions we make in the moment. I often say (my students might say, “too often”) that “opportunity costs.” The expense of an opportunity is determined in the moment—carpe momento. We have and make decisions based on our fears and/or our dreams. The actions we take—and the outcomes of these actions—are the results of these decisions. Ultimately, we are responsible for our decisions, actions, and, hence, circumstances.

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”―Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!