Author: armstrong.wou@gmail.com

“Yes, life can sometimes feel disjointed, but every place you have been, every hardship, even your worst curses have been subtly raising your soul up rung by rung and leading you forward.”—Naomi Levy

I have been having a recurring theme in my dreams where people, places, time periods, and events are all intertwined. I always wake up and continue in the dream in a semi-conscious state as an observing asking “why am I seeing this?” In every dream, I am introduced to new people and the places/events are always grander yet the same as I remember them.

My life, like many lives, has been a series of chapters with little continuity. I have moved, changed jobs, etc. Social groups have changed in the process. I have many people I call friends who I have not seen in 20, 30, 40, or more years. I sure that I am not unique in this. I could easily list my life as a “table of contents” with a list of “characters” in each chapter.

Recently, particularly thanks to social media, I have found myself reconnecting with these chapters with increasing frequency. For the most part, I have just welcomed it and not given it much thought. Occasionally, I see some interesting connections between these chapters—characters from different chapters having some relationship to others from my past and present. This becoming increasingly more frequent. It is like stepping back from a Monet painting and seeing the object of the creation. It is increasingly evident that the seemingly distinct chapters are not so disconnected after all.

In Einstein and the Rabbi, Rabbi Naomi Levy discusses the forty-two journeys of the Children of Israel during their trek through the desert that are listed at the end of the Book of Numbers. I have often been asked the question (or something similar): “If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?” I have learned that the answer to this question is: “Nothing.” Sure, there are countless times that I have screwed up, hurt someone, been hurt by someone, made bad choices, had difficult times, etc., but each event, each relationship, and each decision has brought me to where I am in this moment.

GOD has grown bigger for me over my lifetime. As I reflect on each “chapter” of my life, I can see how more of GOD’s image has been revealed to me. In reflection, I can see how the Universal One has had a hand in my life—my ongoing growth and the growth of others. I am seeing how each chapter is connected—not only in my story but in all the stories. I am a character in other’s chapters as much as they are characters in mine. While we have, perhaps, not been continuous characters in one’s story, we are nevertheless important characters in the Story.

As I see society around me being increasingly divided, I am given hope by the increasing interconnectedness I am also seeing. I am confident that all is leading to Oneness—that other-centeredness is winning over self-centeredness. I am welcoming characters back into my story because they have never really been absent. They have been a part of my story—of me—all along.

Rabbi Levy ends her chapter, “Perceiving the Forty-Two Journeys of Your Soul,” with the following blessing:

I pray you will learn to view your life as a meaningful story. I pray you will learn to see how even your setbacks are leading you forward.

May you step up to your soul’s mission in every place and may you be blessed to fulfill it. Amen.

It is summer. We are opening up as a country and making up for lost travel time. Vacationing means a disruption of the daily routine—for better or for worse. For the worse, that “strict”, healthy weight management program one is following will likely be affected. Six meals a day on a regular schedule? For get about it (spoken in a Brooklyn accent). Continuing the regular exercise program? Not likely. So, how does one survive vacation?

With regard to diet….

Give yourself some leeway. Relax the strict macro balance—somewhat. As much as possible, eat like you do (or should) on non-training days. Maintain protein intake (~1 g per pound of lean body weight). Choose carbohydrates wisely. Make overall healthy food choices. Try to maintain a hypocaloric or eucaloric caloric balance (aware that you will likely err toward a slight hypercaloric intake).

Enjoy food. If there is great food to be enjoyed, enjoy it—in moderation. Don’t eat crap that you will regret, but if there is a delicious, less-than-diet-friendly food that is unique to your vacation destination or something you really enjoy, partake. Just don’t go overboard. I will be travelling home to Pittsburgh this summer. I am looking forward to Primanti Brothers, Mineo’s and Beto’s pizza (and possible a few others—in my humble opinion, the only good pizzas are in Pittsburgh and New York), and an Eat ‘n Park Smiley cookie. There are likely a few other stops along the vacation trail. I don’t have to go overboard, though. A couple slices. One cookie. Eat light the rest of the day to save for that Primanti’s sandwich with the iconic fries on the sandwich. I can enjoy what I enjoy.

Avoid the hotel Continental breakfasts. It is “free” so take advantage, right. Well, okay, if—and that is a big IF—you can find healthy choices. Most are donuts—which seem like a pleasant idea until you actually eat them and realize how truly unsatisfying they are—and cereals. At best, fill up on available proteins and some fruit. Much better to prepare ahead and travel with your favorite whey protein blend and a shaker bottle. Start the day with a protein shake. Perhaps a “bulletproof” coffee (coffee with butter and coconut oil—MCT oil). The calories are surprisingly better than sugary carbs, and the fat is satiable. You will make it longer in the day before getting hungry.

Maintain a meal frequency. Keep to your planned meal frequency as best as possible with macro-balanced snacks. Remember: protein is the priority, and sugary carbs and junk foods should be avoided. Pack-and-carry what you can. Avoid being at the disposal of Quik-E-Marts and tourist-trap dining. If you have to eat what is available, choose widely—though expect the “healthy” options to be few. Better to eat light and save calories for a meal you can truly enjoy.

Keep hydrated. Hunger pangs can be offset by drinking fluids—ideally water. Drink often—especially if traveling to a hot-humid destination. Avoid sugary drinks (as you already should). Be aware of the calories in the alcohol you drink. Alcohol does not contribute to your macro balance, so limit yourself and, like food, consume for the experience, not for the sake of consumption.

With regard to exercise….

Plan. Unless training is absolutely necessary. Take a planned deload. Let your body use vacation as an opportunity to recovery from accumulated fatigue. If you absolutely must exercise, plan ahead for available training facilities. Remember: hotels are never going to have the facilities of a commercial gym. Expect to train at a maintenance volume, at best.

Stay active. Hopefully, you are planning an active vacation. Walk as much as possible. Use the hotel pool (i.e., swim). Take advantage of opportunities to hike, bike, kayak, etc. Just move! Do things that you might not ordinarily do. See things you normally won’t see. If vacationing is laying poolside or on the beach, realize that you can lay down at home. The sun will move with you. Just move!

Vacation should be restorative—Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Social. Try not to return from vacation feeling like you have to recover from vacation (this includes feeling like you have to “diet” after vacation).

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”—Viktor E. Frankl

I love the above quote from Viktor Frankl. I hope no one will ever again see the atrocities that deepened his understanding of man’s quest for meaning.

It is the space between in which I find GOD, and where I find our interconnectedness. It is also where I find that which is referred to as the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is also the space that I have to allow for the soul to speak—both my own soul and the soul of others.

Too often, we try to fill the space with our own “noise” or allow it to be filled with the noise of the world. Instead we need to free that space for the presence of GOD, the Spirit, and the soul. As we respond to the world around us, we must pause and allow time to wisely choose our response—or more appropriately, perhaps, to listen for our response. We also need to make time for “productive pause” in our day to allow space for the soul to speak. For, indeed, “in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

Today is the fourth of July. We celebrate and wish others a “Happy fourth of July”, but I often think we lose sight of the significance of the day. We are not simply celebrating a day on the calendar. We are celebrating a concept—that of Independence…of Freedom. It is true that our nation’s founders declared their independence from England on July 4, 1776, but it did not decree our independence. A war had to be fought and blood shed to achieve independence. Independence, however, was not complete even as the United States of America became a nation. Independence and Freedom are the foundation of the nation, and, though we were (are) a people free from English rule, Independence and Freedom have been a process. It has never been a perfect process, but it has been (an should continue to be) a process of growth—of constant improvement.

It occurred to me this morning that our Independence is to be exercised, as well as celebrated. In exercising Independence, we must remember that there cannot be true Independence unless everyone be free—free to speak, free to choose, free to live, …free to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. We can never stop working out the details of what this means for Americans. We cannot deny the liberty of another and demand liberty for ourselves. Liberty and Freedom are other-centered concepts. Independence demands interdependence. Freedom has come with a cost. For some it has been blood. For some it has been the loss of loved ones. For all it costs a bit of oneself. Independence expresses personal liberty without causing harm to another. Freedom is an all-or-nothing concept.

Independence Day should be an expression of grattitude (gratitude + attitude).

Happy Independence Day!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”—Jesus (Matthew 18:20, NIV)

Over the last year, we have had limited community—limited opportunity to gather in what Parker J. Palmer1 would call “small circles.” I am talking about real community—real heart-felt, honest, other-centered relationship (outside of just the home). Honestly, I would say it has been years since I have experienced real community. There have been periods of short-lived community, but this has been rare. Over the last year, because of COVID-19 restrictions, churches have been closed, school and work interactions have been limited to Zoom meetings and other virtual gatherings, interaction with family and friends have been limited, and mixing with neighbors was inhibited.

If we are honest, these limitations have existed for quite some time. They have tended to be self-imposed by what Palmer would call the “divided self.” We gather, but we don’t truly open ourselves to community. We tend only to share a guarded façade of our self.

Churches have been online or limited for the last year. Even prior to COVID-19, I have tended to find church shallow and self-centered. It is hard to go back after the restrictions have been lifted. Churches are often full of people, but still empty. I am sure that it is not the case everywhere. I know, because I have known several communities in my lifetime. They just seem increasingly difficult to find. I have long been off the religion wagon—but no less lacking in my faith.

I have been re-reading A Hidden Wholeness1 and was (again) inspired by the following:

“A circle of trust can form wherever two or three are gathered—as long as those two or three know how to create and protect a space for the soul.”—Parker J. Palmer (p. 29).

The statement reminded me of the above verse in Matthew (in the bible). Often, in Christian groups, this is taken to mean group prayer—as though God can only respond to the collective voice. I am learning, however, that there is more to this. The very message of Jesus is community and other-centeredness. Palmer is merely paraphrasing what Jesus said millennia ago– For where two or three gather to create and protect a place for the soul, there they will experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I transitioned at some point in life from going to church to needing Church. It is a 24/7 need—that lately goes unfulfilled. That it is unfulfilled is as much my fault as any other’s. Society—secular and religious—has move from community. My wife has often noted how the architecture of modern homes has moved away from front porches. As a society, we look to label one another—to divide ourselves and others into groups. Thus, we ignore the soul. We deny the Interconnectedness that seeks to unite us. We are left empty and wanting—alone in a world full of people.

Allowing space for the soul to speak is hard in a society that wants to be heard but fails to listen to its own soul, let alone allow the souls of others to speak. We need to begin with our own “circles of trust”. We need to begin by letting ourselves (our true selves) be exposed and by allowing others to be unguarded. This, however, is impossible in a society so easily offended and so quick to judge. We need much less “us” and “them” and more other-centeredness. We need community.

1A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life, Parker J. Palmer

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”—William Faulkner

We like to play it safe. We like it within the confines of our comfort zone. Safe is good, but it doesn’t produce growth. Safe does not take us to new horizons.

The great explorers, the great inventors, the record-breakers in sport, the great entrepreneurs, and all who would make history have dared to “leave the shore.” They swam into the waters of uncertainty and risked failure. It takes courage to do what others won’t. However, doing what others won’t will certainly bring different results.

We are not meant to remain where we are (Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially). It is uniquely human to grow—to become someone better; to make the Universe better. We are meant to swim for new horizons.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

My 15-year-old son ended his sophomore wrestling season with two disappointing losses in the state tournament. The end to an 11-4 season was less than pretty. My heart aches for the kid, because he worked his heart out for this season. He lifted weights and moved from the 172-pound weight class to 220. He was on the light side of the new weight class at somewhere less than 210 lb, but he had amassed a good 35 lb of added muscle—mostly in the legs from squatting and deadlifting (the exercises least favored by teenage boys who prefer bench press and arm curls). He pinned 11 kids this season. Two of his losses were to ranked kids, who will likely place today in the final rounds. He had a great season. I am always proud of him (and my daughter).

This weekend is also the conclusion of the Olympic trials in Track & Field. These competitions and the end of the wrestling season remind me that very few who try ever come out on top (that is, “win the gold”). Nearly one-hundred percent “lose” their final bout/race. This does not lessen the accomplishment.

I reconnected with my high school wrestling coach after many decades. I carried a burden of having let my team down my senior by selfishly refusing to take my place on the team at 185 lbs (in the days before the 195 and 220 lb weight classes; when there was only 185 and Unlimited). I was dealing with a lot of sh** and had come out of an equally sh*tty football season with a pinched nerve in my neck. I didn’t want to lose the 30 pounds of weight that I had lost and gained over the previous two seasons. I wanted to wrestle heavyweight, where we already had a capable wrestler. Unfortunately, we were too comparable for me to take the position, and I rode bench as a result. Finally, wised up and dropped the weight (at this point 17 lbs) to make weight for a match for which the 185 pounder (who could now move to 165) was sick. I lost the weight in 24 hours (something that can’t be done anymore in wrestling) and remained there for the rest of the season. Dropping weight like this is certainly unwise, and, though, I wrestled well in that first match, it showed for the rest of the season. I really let my team down. After nearly forty years, my coaches only response to my regret was “you showed up.” I still regret having been so selfish, but this eased the burden.

Life is about showing up. It is about being our best today (even when today’s best isn’t as good as we hoped) and being better tomorrow. It is about the doing. It is not about the winning. They say, “in wrestling there are no losers, only winners and learners.” This is why wrestling is such a great analogy for life. In life there are so few “winners”, but there are countless “learners”—IF we allow ourselves to be.

Yesterday was rough for my son (and the sons of many other wrestlers—Friday was the girl’s tournament or I would have included “daughters”), but today is a new day. Tomorrow will be, as well. He is already planning what he needs to do for next season. There will be more weights and conditioning. There will be more work on technique. As we went to go to bed last night, my wife discovered that our son was not to be found. We soon learned that he had gone for a run. It did not seem as self-punishment. Rather he ran to clear his head. He learned yesterday.

We are going to lose more than we win. It is our choice to learn or to be defeated.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

A number of years ago, a student asked in class how I would respond to a personal training client who says they don’t want to lift heavy weights because they don’t want big bulky muscles. Instead of my usual lengthy physiological response, I simply said she should tell he not to worry because she isn’t willing to put in the work to get big muscles. In truth, that is the accurate response. Most of us can’t or won’t grow muscle because we don’t do the necessary work—not because of age or a lack of genetics.

As we age, it is harder to grow muscle for a number of physiological reasons, but it is not impossible. The textbook I use in Physiology of Exercise suggests a 10% loss in muscle mass from 25 to 50 years of age and an additional 40% loss from 50 to 80 years. This, however, is not a trend that is predetermined in the genetic code. It is not an absolute of aging—though it is the norm. Why do we lose so much muscle as we age? Because we stop using it. The principle of reversibility supersedes the principle of overload. We don’t use it? We lose it. Likewise, if we don’t stimulate muscle hypertrophy we don’t achieve it. Don’t blame age for deconditioning. Blame the lack of effort.

There are no excuses. No hacks. Only the opportunity to get better.

I often refer to “opportunity costs”, a phrase I picked up from Dr. Mike Israetel (Renaissance Periodization). In a recent video, he gives what I consider a spot-on definition:

“Time trying dumb sh** is time not growing from guaranteed sh**.”—Mike Israetel

Why are you not growing? Maybe you are wasting time on the :dumb sh**.” Stick to the basics and work ‘em hard.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”—Mandy Hale

None of us is where we belong. In the moment? Yes. We are where we are supposed to be–or, at least, simply, we are where we are. In the next moment? We are to be better. We are to have grown. I would not consider Growth and Change to be painful as much as uncomfortable.

Pain is a perception of the mind. Pain is an instinctive protection mechanism. The human being is wired to grow—to adapt/change. To perceive Growth and Change as painful is to limit us. Discomfort is always a by-product of what stimulates growth. In exercise physiology, we refer to this as “the overload principle” (in order for a body system—this includes the Spiritual, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social, as well as the Physical, dimensions—to grow, it must be challenged to a level greater than that to which it is accustomed). We try to avoid the phrase, “no pain, no gain,” because it implies injury, but it is somewhat fitting. Perhaps, for many of us, Growth and Change are “painful” as we overcome the initial resistance to change—as we get “unstuck.” Such pain is only in the mind—as is any perception of pain. As we challenge ourselves, our perceptions change. As we see Growth and Change, we become motivated to challenge ourselves.

Who we are is not who we are presently. Who we are is who are yet to become. We either fear that becoming and stay “stuck,” or we step beyond our comfort zone and move forward.

“Painful”? Perhaps, but only briefly as we adapt to our new self in preparation for the next challenge/opportunity. In time, pain gives way to a sense of accomplishment. Remember: “That which does not kill me makes me stronger” (Friedrich Neitzche).

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“As nice as it may sound to live in a world without mosquitoes, it’s not as easy as eradicating species that cause us harm or even those that just annoy us. That’s because all living things play an important role in the ecosystems in which they exist, and removing one living thing from a habitat can disrupt all the other species within it.”¹

I keep seeing a sponsored post on social media with the claim: “Genius College Student Builds a Device to Rid the World of Mosquitoes.” The creator was so inspired because he suffered from a rare allergic reaction to mosquito bites, called “Skeeter Syndrome.” Most are also aware of the involvement of mosquitoes in the spread of diseases, such as malaria and West Nile. So, eradicating mosquitoes sounds like a great idea, right? Of course, not. Like all living things, mosquitoes are an essential part of the ecosystem. We humans simply have to adjust. (Sickle cell trait, interestingly, is actually a natural human protection against malaria.)

We have a tendency to prioritize our own circumstances without realizing that we fit into a complex and interconnected Universe. We neglect a sense of greater Purpose. We neglect that the eradication of our problem(s) can have a profound effect on countless others.

Rather than trying to rid our lives of “mosquitoes”, perhaps we should be asking ourselves “Why?” Perhaps, we should be learning to deal with our circumstances—to grow from them—rather than run from them.

Mosquitoes suck. No doubt. I suspect that living with Skeeter Syndrome sucks, too. Certainly, we need to deal with our own pressing problems, but we have to be cautious in imposing our solutions on others. Someone or something along the food chain is benefiting from that mosquito, and that benefit, in turn, benefits others. Indeed, that “mosquito” provides a cascade of opportunity and benefit. The solution to a problem is never as simple as eliminating the problem. The solution to every problem though is growth.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

¹https://www.reconnectwithnature.org/news-events/the-buzz/world-without-mosquitoes-not-as-easy-as-it-seems