Author: armstrong.wou@gmail.com

“Coaching is not about winning.  Striving to achieve at a high level is a given.  It is about drastically changing lives.  Miss that and you miss the point.”—Coyte Cooper

Coaching has been on my mind lately.  My son just finished his 5/6 youth football season with a tough 16-8 loss in the championship and starts the wrestling season tonight.  My students in the Exercise Motivation & Adherence course presented their “Coaching Youth Philosophy” papers, and I am in the process of grading.

Last night, we celebrated the football season and the boys with a banquet/party.  I had the pleasure and honor of presenting gifts to the coaches from the parents as a token of our appreciation.  I wanted to speak to the coaches from the heart, and, after they finished addressing each boy and commenting on their contribution to the team, my job was easy.  I felt truly blessed to have my son play for these coaches and the rest of the boys.

One could not ask for more intense and enthusiastic coaches, but what was clear to me throughout the season was their sincere concern for each and every boy on the team.  As they spoke about each boy, the word “love” was heard repeatedly.  Moreover, what I heard was praise for who the boys are becoming.

In InSide-Out Coaching, Joe Ehrmann identifies two types of coaches: Transactional and Transformational.  Transactional coaches are most concerned with what they can get from the athletes—namely, wins.  Transformational coaches are most concerned with the they can give to the athletes.  The true success of a transformational coach may not be seen for decades, when the boy becomes a man—in how he treats others, is successful in the workplace and community, and how he lives his life.  What a boy or girl learns in sports will affect them the rest of their lives.  How they win and lose will impact how they respond to what live brings.

What type of coach someone is may be seen in how they approach playing time, how they interact with parents, how they approach wins and losses, and how they treat effort and achievement.  I most appreciate the coaches who are going to hard on my young athlete while rewarding the progress that is being made—the coaches who make it fun to work your tail off.

There was not a boy on my son’s team who was not appreciated and did not improve throughout the season.  It was gratifying to hear the coaches speak of each boy’s success and role on the team.  I was especially moved by the words spoken of my own son.  Whether the words fully resounded in his 11-year-old brain is not clear, but, certainly, they will be with him as he continues to mature.

Tonight, he moves on to wrestling where he will have a coach who is equally hard on him and concerned for his long-term success.  Different lessons are in store for my boy as we shift sports, but undoubtedly, he will be building on the confidence and success of the football season.

As we interact with others, particularly those over which we are charged.  We must consider “What type of coach am I?”  For, though we may not wear a whistle, we are in a role of “coach”.  Will we push our “athletes” to bring their best to the game—to be their best today, and be better tomorrow—or we be transactional, only looking to see what we can gain from the relationship?  I trust we will be transformational and seize the opportunity to help our “athletes” achieve.

Carpe momento!

“One of the great myths in America is that sports build character. They can and they should. Indeed, sports may be the perfect venue in which to build character. But sports don’t build character unless a coach possesses character and intentionally teaches it. Sports can team with ethics and character and spirituality; virtuous coaching can integrate the body with the heart, the mind, and the soul.”—Joe Ehrmann

 

“You don’t get unity by ignoring the questions that have to be faced.”—Jay Weatherall

There is something seriously lacking in our society–communication. We are divided on so many levels—race, religion, education, politics, income, gender, etc. Protests and political memes are the norm. Texting and emailing when there is a person sitting next to you or across the table. Voicing opinion, but not taking the time to LISTEN.

Three phrases from my Christian faith come to mind: “love your enemy”, “communion”, and “breaking bread”. What problems might be solved if we really considered these simple concepts?

We are so ingrained to hate our enemy.  We are increasingly becoming a dichotomous society—us v. them. To love one’s enemy, however, is not to surrender in weakness.  Rather, it is to show strength in conflict.  It is “seek first to understand and then to be understood” according to Stephen Covey.  It is not taking a beating, but understanding why someone wants to hit you in the first place. Yes, it is hard, and it might not lead, ultimately, to a peaceful resolution, but the chances are better for peace and a lasting solution when we do.

Communion is a common sacrament in the Christian faith.  Unfortunately, we don’t take the exercise beyond our religious practice.  Communion is defined as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a mental or spiritual level” (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/communion). We just don’t challenge ourselves to open up and share our thoughts and feelings.  Instead, we post them in all capital letters on our social media and get upset when someone disagrees.  This is not communion.  Nor is this community which is derived from the same Latin root (communis).

Breaking bread is simply sitting at the table together and sharing a meal.  It saddens me to go to a restaurant (or any public place) and see a group of people sitting at a table on their phones.  Why??! We are missing the opportunity for community.  The cost of this lost opportunity is division.  When we distance ourselves from the people across or beside us, we make it that much easier to ignore the others across the room, across town, and across the globe. 

Our society is deeply in need of a global potluck! We need to get together and share. We need to feel free to disagree.  Indeed, we need to welcome disagreement. It is from dissention that new ideas are born.  Yes, we risk offending and being offended, but offense is an opportunity for mutual growth and understanding.

We often describe ourselves, politically, as “conservative” or “progressive”.  I find neither label particularly helpful or truthful.  “Conservative” implies unwilling to change.  “Progressive” implies an intellectual superiority.  “Progressive” can actually be “regressive” when not open to understanding the opposition.  When we stand steadfast in our beliefs and worldview, we are never open to growth and real progress.

I have described “well-centered fitness” as an asymptote—a goal that is never wholly achievable.  Social progress is no different.  We always have room for growth.  Progress, however, should be toward unity, not further separation. Progress should be the pursuit of social justice.

We will never solve our problems by pushing ourselves apart and being offended that someone’s opinion doesn’t match ours. Dare to be offended and to offend. Do so, not out of hate, but out of love. We might just be surprised by the outcome. ‘Cause, after all, how well is the current approach working?

“Unity is strength… when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.”—Mattie Stepanek

“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as you dominant aspiration.”—James Allen

We seem to be increasingly dominated by desires that lack spiritual depth.  I am not speaking in the religious sense here.  Rather, I am considering our desires in the universal sense of Spiritual “well-centeredness”.

Not linking these thoughts to any one event or events, per se, it would appear that we have succumbed to a world vision that is limited to our own opinions and experience without recognizing that the universe is far greater than what we see.  The world is not made up of dichotomies.  The world is not divided along clear lines of race, religion, gender, income, ethnicity, etc.  These are the limits that statisticians and political pundits put on us to simplify the effort to quantify the world.  We buy into the nonsense we are fed.

I saw a meme today that blamed the media for the racial divide in the United States.  (Once could easily have substituted “racial” for any other factor upon which we divide ourselves.)  It is easy to blame the media for our ills, but we are consumers of the media.  The media only feed us what we are willing to consume.  If we don’t participate, it won’t have an audience.  So, we must face the reality that we are in control of ourselves and our society.

There is a great opportunity before us all.  We alone choose how we will respond to the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  There may be a season for some to grieve.  For others, there may be a season to celebrate.  But for everyone, there is a season to move forward.

Daily, we are presented with the circumstances that can break us.  Thus, we have a choice.  We can allow our circumstances to overwhelm us—leaving us, fearful, frustrated, discouraged, and so on—or we can take a more positive route.  In the direction of the positive, we can accept our circumstance as a challenge, or we can see it as an opportunity.  In the universal sense, accepting our circumstance as an opportunity for the greater good will have the greatest impact.  Such an approach is the better path toward change.  For one, we are acceding a more internal locus of control.

I am increasingly frustrated by the trend of sheltering the feelings of others.  This, by no means, suggests that I am in favor of bullying others or intentionally offending others.  My frustration lies in the lack of unification this promotes.  To arrive at true understanding, we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  We need to sit at the table together and, as Stephen Covey put it, “seek first to understand and then to be understood.”  We have that flipped in our society, and it is furthering the divide.

I get it.  People are frustrated.  I have been there.  But, frustration is an opportunity for cooperation.  It is an opportunity to come together in community.

The choice is mine and yours.  Carpe momento!

We are coming to the close of a very divisive season in the United States.  When all is said and done there will be winners and losers.  Some will be happy.  Some will not.  All, however, will remain Americans.  All will remain neighbors and, hopefully, friends.

What every side of the divide we find ourselves, we have a choice.  We can continue to widen the divide or we can build bridges.  We have an opportunity before us.  We can choose unity or division.  Consider the cost when you choose.

I have found this election season a challenge to my “well-centeredness”.  Politics always brings out the worst in people and challenges our relationships, our emotional well-being, as well as draining us spiritually, physically, and intellectually.  But, like all circumstances in life, we are faced with a choice of how we will conduct ourselves.  No one else’s behavior matters.  Like I tell my children, it doesn’t matter what the other person did.  What matters is how you respond.

What does division cost us?  (I leave this for the reader to consider.)

What does unity cost us?  Pride?  Personal gain?  Relationships?  (Wait.  No.  Unity can actually strengthen relationships.)  Well, it has to cost us something.  This is fact.  But, you and I place the value on that cost.  This is the choice we face.  Are we willing to sacrifice a bit of ourselves to sit at the table with our neighbors (friend or foe) and seek communion?  I hope so.

Carpe momento!

“We are of course a nation of differences. Those differences don’t make us weak. They’re the source of our strength.”—Jimmy Carter

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”–William Arthur Ward

I have written more than a few times about the choice we have in how we respond to the conditions in our lives.  I have emphasized that we can view our circumstances as burdens, challenges, or opportunities.  How we decide to view our current situation determines whether we quit, struggle, or charge forward.  It is all a matter of attitude and gratitude.

Andy Lausier is the head wrestling coach at Sacred Heart University.  Coach Lausier is not one to shy away from a challenge.  His coaching credentials are impressive: the first head wrestling coach at Stevens Tech (where he took the team to three NCAA appearances in four years), four years as an assistant at Princeton during the rebuilding of the program, and, most recently, accepting the head coaching position at the (then) “worst” D-I program in the country—Sacred Heart.  As if the challenge of building a solid D-I program is not enough, Coach Lausier recently completed an incredible feat to raise funding and awareness for his team.  He rode an amazing 1119 miles from Fairfield, Connecticut to St. Louis, Illinois in seven days!!  In case you are not inclined to do the math, that is an average of 160 miles a day on a bike!  His longest ride was 175 miles.

On the sixth day of the trek, Coach Lausier hit a point of near-complete physical and motivational breakdown.  At this point, he had a choice.  In the moment of assessing this choice, he recognized that he was focusing on the “haves” (e.g., “I have to finish this”).  In true Andy Lausier style, though, he shifted his mindset to focus on the “gets”.  He reflected on the fact that he has the physical opportunity to ride a bike—something that many, because of physical limitations, cannot.  This simple shift in attitude and gratitude got him back on the bike to finish the day and to get back on for the final ride of day seven.

We all have our challenges.  It may not be to complete a 160-mile cycling day (or 1119-mile week!), but we will undoubtedly have our own moments of decision.  Andy refers to this as turning the “haves into gets”.  Indeed, one’s attitude shapes one’s attitude.  We decide.

Taking the time to start our day with thoughts of gratitude will have a profound effect on the rest of the day.  Practicing a habit of looking at the opportunities we are given shifts our focus and our energies in a positive direction.  This is “carpe momento”.

Andy’s seven-day voyage through nine states is inspirational.  There are most certainly others whose circumstances are not so self-inflicted and are instead a battle for survival.  If this your situation, changing haves into gets may be “easier said than done”, but I know you have it in you to make the most of the worst and seek the opportunity that is present in the moment. 

I encourage the reader to shift the mindset and be open to the opportunities we have.  Live, love, and experience the moment.  Go forward with an attitude of gratitude.  Embrace the circumstances in which you find yourself.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

I have on numerous occasions been asked a question like: “If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?”  Another question I have heard is: “If you could give advice to your 20-year-old self, what would it be?”  Great questions in theory, but what are the implications?

Our history includes a series of decisions—good or bad—that have ultimately brought us to where we are today.  What happens to our path when we make even the slightest change?

I have made a lot of regrettable choices in my life.  Maybe for some a Mulligan would be tempting, but there are no do-overs in life.  We had our chance.  We may have hurt people.  People may have hurt us.  We have made “bad” decisions.  We might be better off had we….  We think the grass might be greener, if only….  But, think about this.  Take just one decision you regret and consider the result.  Consider the trajectory this set you on.

Remember Garth Brooks’ hit song: Unanswered Prayers?  The subject of the song goes back to a football game and sees and old girlfriend.  He recalls the old times and soon realizes that time has changed him (and her, too).  He looks at his wife and realized that she is the blessing in his life.  (I love this song!)  Don’t we all have some of these “unanswered prayers.”  I am sure I have more than I can recall.

You can’t have a growth mindset and harbor regrets.  Regrets are living in the past.  Regrets impede growth.  If we are looking back, we can’t be going forward.  The past serves to teach us the lessons for the present.  A growth mindset is focused on moving forward.  With a growth mindset, we recognize that the mistakes of the past are teachable moments and experiences that have brought us to were we are right now.  We are the cumulative effects of out history—good or bad.

If your history has brought to a place you don’t like, looking back won’t change the present, but your actions in the present can change the future.  Chances are that even if your circumstances are disappointing, there are likely some really good things in your life.  Then, again, maybe you feel there aren’t.  Either way, your past made you who you are.  The past has given you your present and your future.  Carpe momento.

Correct the poor decision you might make now and don’t live in yesterday.  Let this be the advice you give yourself.  Let this be what you change.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.”—Theodore Roosevelt

I love the movie What About Bob? with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss.  I use is in my Exercise Motivation & Adherence course to introduce some elements of behavioral change.  (Yes, I do use a Bill Murray movie for educational purposes!)  Bill Murray’s character, Bob Wiley, effectively illustrates the benefits of small changes—baby steps—in making notable change in one’s life.  Baby steps to success!

It is timely that I have been thinking about this topic as I read Coyte Cooper’s book: Make Your Mark.  As I considered this topic, I came to the chapter “Develop the Discipline Required to Live Your Dreams.”  Central to the theme are the notions of “daily doses of self-disciple” and the compounding effect of self disciple.  Coyte refers to this as “getting your reps in.”

Self-discipline, or self-control, is a cultivated trait.  Self-discipline is a practice of practice.  It is a conscious choice to do the difficult things.  It is a willingness to do what few others are willing to do.  Self-disciple requires patience and perseverance.

Discipline begets discipline.  One who desires to have (extra)ordinary success must be willing to put in the work.  It is work, but it really isn’t hard work.  Overcoming the initial inertia is hard, but once this is overcome, the momentum will drive the progress further.  If Sir Isaac Newton were a psychologist, he would have suggested that an individual life that is stagnant will remain stagnant until acted upon by an external motivation.  A motivated individual will continue moving in the direction of his or her goals until acted upon by an opposing impulse.

Self-disciple is the force that keeps one moving forward.  At the onset the energy required might be great, but we reduce the impulse to remain stagnant with small investments in self-discipline.  Baby steps!

With each seemingly minor step, momentum builds.  The reward of successful achievement builds self-confidence and a willingness to take the next step.  Begin by initiating some exercise in self-discipline.  I have shared the idea of SIDCHA (self-imposed daily challenging healthy activities).  Here is a great place to start.  Initiate and build a morning routine.  Add to your self-discipline over time.  Physical growth and adaptation comes only with progressive overload (doing more than that to which you are accustomed).  Before long, the growth will be notable.

There is indeed a compounding effect of self-disciple.  Initially, one might feel like Sisyphus rolling the stone uphill, but growing self-discipline is not an exercise in futility.  Very soon one reaches the tipping point and momentum kicks in.  The stone now picks up speed as it rolls down hill.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.”—Charles R. Swindoll

We have all heard the phase “garbage in, garbage out” with regards to computer programming.  In other words, a software is only as good as the operating code written by the programmer.  Our brain is much the same way.

While computer programming is purposeful and intentional, the human brain is more incidental.  The brain is constantly being bombarded with information—programming input, so to speak.  Most of this is filtered or stored subconsciously out of necessity.  (Imagine what life would be like if we had to consciously process every bit of sensory information the brain is fed—sight, sound, smell, touch, etc.)  Some of the information being input to the brain, however, is conscious and intentional—e.g., books we read, television we watch, etc.  Whether intentional or incidental, we have control over what we allow to be programmed.

The incidental stuff is largely affected by the environment.  The atmosphere in which we allow ourselves to reside.  Of course, some aspects of our environment are outside of our control, but, largely, we have a choice.  We decide where and with whom we will spend the bulk of our time.  We also have a choice in how we will receive the environmental factors that our outside of our control—e.g., we choose how we respond to people with whom we find ourselves in conflict.

There are several steps we can take to program the mind to be positive and successful.  We have more control than we tend to believe.

Avoid the clutter.  Clutter can take many forms.  It may we physical clutter—messy office, messy house, disorganization, distractions, etc.  Clutter can be more mental—worry, anxiety, stress, etc.  We must structure our environment for productivity and efficiency.

Focus.  Similar to avoiding clutter, we have to be purposeful and intentional with our actions.  This is where having a morning routine and growth plan are important.  Having a plan and agenda for the day.  Knowing what your Purpose is.  Knowing what you value and having a mission statement.  Having goals (and reviewing these goals regularly—daily).  As Stephen R. Covey wrote in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, we must begin with the end in mind.  Focus allows us to be selective with the information we allow to enter our brain.

Emphasize opportunity.  We have three choices in how we interact with the circumstances confronting us.  We can see these as: 1) burdens, 2) challenges, or 3) opportunities.  The distinction between options 2 and 3 is subtle, but nonetheless important.  Viewed as challenges, we as still inclined toward a more negative attitude.  We are more likely to have periods of frustration and doubt.  When viewed as opportunities, our circumstances align with our sense of Purpose.  Opportunities lead us to greater things.  Moving from challenges to opportunities is a matter of shifting one’s mindset.  The difference between a challenging circumstance and an opportunity is perception.

Recognizing the opportunity in a situation is often a matter of the Spiritual dimension of our well-centeredness.  Remember that the Spiritual dimension pertains to our recognition of something greater than self.  There will be times when the opportunity in a situation is not for our benefit, but for the benefit of another.  One could, perhaps, put a bit of a twist on Nietzsche and say “that which does not kill me makes another stronger”?  Our Spiritual well-centeredness is often a reflection of one’s selflessness.

Cultivate positive emotional well-centeredness.  Cultivate what is referred to in the Bible as the “fruit of the Holy Spirit”.  These are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Focusing on these characteristics of Emotional well-centeredness, we create an atmosphere that welcomes positive programming and dispels the garbage code.  In essence, we code the brain to be positive and delete negativity.  We program the brain to prolong the decision made in the fraction of a second between a stimulus and a response.  This is often just enough—in my personal experience—to avoid cursing at the driver who just cut you off!

Get up on the right side of the bed!  One of the most important steps one can take in programming the brain is taking control of the morning routine.  If your morning routine involves hitting the snooze repeatedly and then rushing to shower, get dressed, consume a poor breakfast, and hustle anxiously out the door, you are pretty much loading your brain with garbage code.  Take the time (wake up a few minutes earlier, if necessary) to prepare—to reboot, so to speak.  Allow yourself time to visit your goals, to reflect on your mission and core values, and to set your mind on opportunities.  Fill your commute time with productive input—podcasts, audio books, inspirational music, or quiet thought.  Leave earlier rather than later.  Allow yourself time for inevitable delays and relax!  Exercise (if it can fit into your morning) and eat a healthy breakfast.  Consider a SIDCHA (self-imposed daily challenging healthy activity) to start your morning.  Carpe diem!  Start the day well.

As you go through your day, consider each moment as a programmed decision tree— an if…, then… statement.  Determine the available decisions ahead of time.  Don’t react to situations.  Respond decisively to conditions as they are presented.  Control your output.

Carpe momento!

“There are two kinds of people in this world: those who can’t just eat one potato chip, and liars!”–Understanding Healthy Eating, Renaissance Periodization

As an exercise physiologist and a college professor, I get frustrated with the level of nonsense marketed to consumers looking to be healthier and more physically fit.  There are endless lists of “the 5 foods you should be eating”, “the 5 foods you should not be eating”, “the 5 exercises you should be doing”, “the 5 exercises you should stop doing”, etc.  (What is it about the number 5??)  I am bombarded with sponsored posts of “scientifically proven” exercises and diets.  Truth be told, science doesn’t “prove” anything!  Science is based on probabilities that an effect is real.  Nothing is ever “proven” per se.  Science only brings us closer to the truth through numerous well-planned studies.  Individual “scientific” studies that are sponsored by companies that are trying to market a product certainly do not offer substantial “proof”.  (Look carefully at the marketing material, usually in the form of a sponsored article—big red flag!  The so-called “scientific” study is probably not published in a reputable peer-reviewed journal—i.e., it is not scrutinized be respected experts in the field.)  So, buyer beware!

For the many of us who just want to eat healthy and achieve/maintain a healthy body weight, the diet options are over-whelming.  (Over-whelming, that is, if you want to take the fad diet route—the route that promises a quick fix to your body fat problems.)  “Science” tells us that the Paleo diet is healthiest.  “Science” also tells us that vegetarian diets are beneficial.  Some professionals tell us we can eat what we want as long as we “stick with our macros”.  Some tells us to eat small frequent meals.  Others tell us that “intermittent fasting” is effective for fat loss.  The recent reality show, My Diet Is Better Than Yours, showed us the diversity of “celebrity” diet plans.  When did dieting become so difficult?  If there is anything to consider about the diet of Paleolithic man, it is that he didn’t put this much thought into eating!

I don’t believe humankind is intended to spend so much mental energy considering what one should eat.  Early man certainly did not consider the fat content of the animal before him as he raised his spear, or the effect of a fruit on his cognitive abilities.  Early humans ate what was available and when it was available.  Food was for survival.  Today, we worry about the little details of our food, yet we are no closer to ending the epidemic of obesity.

We are constantly looking for the quick fix to our weight problems and fail to understand that the issues are simplest when we remove marketing from the equation.  Unfortunately, simple common sense is not profitable.

I have made it no secret that I am a fan of Renaissance Periodization.  While I have not utilized their diet templates, I have read their books and followed their literature.  I find their approach most informative and simple.  Best of all, it is founded on a solid understanding of current nutritional science.  I highly recommend their latest book, Understanding Healthy Eating, as well as, The Renaissance Diet, for straight forward dieting principles. [Please, note, I get no financial benefit from endorsing these books—though, if they would like to pay me….]

The authors offer a practical “6 principles of dieting” and a weight to the effect these have on health (and weight management).  Most important is calorie balance (60%).  In other words, the most important factor in maintaining a healthy weight is calories in v. calories out.  Food composition accounts for 20%.  This basically means that 80% of our healthy eating is governed by how much we eat and how much of that is whole and healthy food versus junk food.  The amount of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins we eat accounts for 10% of our healthy eating.  The rest?  Nutrient timing (the frequency of meals and timing of macro-nutrient consumption) accounts for 5%.  Hydration and supplements only account for 2.5% each.  (And how much are you spending monthly on nutritional supplements??)  These principles of dieting only come into play when the weightier principles are well-controlled.  In other words, not supplement is going to fix a diet that has excessive calories and is made up of junk!

From the above information, we can see that our diet is far less complicated than the “professionals” might lead you to believe.  Reality is, stick to a simple plan and with the appropriate amount of time (and physical activity), you will achieve your healthy weight—without alienating your friends and family!

Be your best today; and be better tomorrow.

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”–Bruce Lee

There is opportunity that presents itself every moment. It is our choice on which opportunities we capitalize.

I use the phrase “opportunity cost” with increasing frequency with my students.  In most of these cases, it is relation to exercise and sports conditioning.  I believe it has equal or greater application in our daily lives—in our pursuit of “well-centered fitness” and personal growth.

In behavior modification, it is central to most of the major theories of behavioral change.  Given a task, we immediately weigh the costs and benefits involved.  It is not an absolute that we will go in the direction of greatest (perceived) benefit.  This is indeed the easy, comfortable route, but for one who is growth-oriented sometimes the immediate costs are investments in what will be delayed benefits.  (Indeed, most benefits of exercise are such.)  So, in every action we take, we are choosing to forego some other action(s).

There are 24 hours in the day for one to use as one so chooses.  Every minute spent doing one thing is a minute that could have been spent doing something else.  Arnold Schwarzenneger, in a 2009 Commencement Address at the University of Southern California, famously said that “I’ve always figured out that there 24 hours a day. You sleep six hours and have 18 hours left. Now, I know there are some of you out there that say well, wait a minute, I sleep eight hours or nine hours. Well, then, just sleep faster, I would recommend.”  While six hours of sleep might not be sufficient for everyone, the point is that the more time that is spent sleeping is the less time spent doing something else.  What is most important is quality sleep.  Being in bed for eight hours staring at the ceiling is not productive useful sleep.  So, what I think Arnold is saying is that one should spend the remaining 18 ours of the day purposefully and effectively and sleep soundly.

Every minute spent awake involves a choice in how it is spent.  Will I be frugal with my time or will I spend it foolishly?  Will I invest this moment or will I squander it on that which has no lasting value?

An unfocused mind meanders.  The focused mind is determined and purposeful.  The deliberate person defies the perception of time.  Each of us has 24 hours, but the intentional person manages to use time so effectively that it is as if he or she can create more time.

Consider how your day is spent.  How much time is spent intentionally—i.e., doing things that yield growth and a return on investment?

Now, I am not implying that life should be “all work and no play.”  Quite the contrary.  The suggestion is that playtime should (for the most part) have some value—i.e., play with your children, enjoy dates with your spouse, spend time with friends, enjoy a mindless comedy, laugh, smile,…, enjoy life!

I struggle with my 11-year-old son over time spent playing video games.  While, personally, I would prefer that he spend zero time playing such games, I do see some positive return for him.  For one, it presents a limited opportunity for interaction with some of his buddies he sees on rather infrequent occasions where he can play with them online.  Outside of school and sports, he has only a few friends in the immediate neighborhood, so he might, otherwise, be indoors by himself.  Another benefit is in the skills that some gaming can provide.  So, I bend a bit, limit the time he spends gaming, and encourage sports and other physical activity.  As long as school work is getting done and he is getting some physical activity, I let him play.  The time will come, though, when he will need to be shifting his focus.  I am already sowing the seed and emphasizing the need for his time to be spent in accordance with his goals.  In other words, I am having him begin to ask the question: “Is what I am doing going to bring me closer to attaining my goals?”

As the parent—as an adult—I have to practice what I preach.  So, looking at my own use of time, am I working toward my goals and acting in ways that are consistent with my values?  Are my activities moving me in the direction of “well-centeredness”?  If not, the cost of my actions is great.

Social media can easily be a time-suck.  A quick check of Facebook or Twitter can turn into mindless scrolling and counterproductive debate.  I am learning to use wisdom in responding to posts (note: “learning”—it is a process!).  One is advised to follow the proverb: “Answer a fool according to his folly…. Don’t answer a fool according to his folly.”  Ask yourself, “does my post or comment add value to the recipient?”  If not, it is not worth the effort.

As well, how we spend our time should be addressed with similar scrutiny.  Does it add value.  Does it benefit me and/or others?  Does it benefit me (or others) spiritually, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially?  One could add: Does it benefit me financially/professionally?

In the end, our decisions and corresponding actions have consequences for us and others.  There is a cost to consider.  Carpe momento!

“Life is the most exciting opportunity we have. But we have one shot.”—Andrew Shue