Author: armstrong.wou@gmail.com

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you needing inspiration?  I would say that, more than occasionally, we need to be inspired.  From the moment we awaken to a new day, we are in want of inspiration.  If we are not, then what are we doing?

We, mostly, begin the day with good intentions.  Hopefully, we have a morning routine—we journal, we set goals, we plan, etc.  But, with the fast pace of our society and the barrage of distractions, we can easily lose track of our direction and purpose and get caught in the current of the day.  The next thing we know we have been swept down stream, unsure what we have really accomplished.

We might try to keep our motivation level high with strategically placed quotes and the like, but often we are moving too fast to notice.  We get so energized to make an impact and to succeed that we get the engines revved up, and we are full-throttle the rest of the day.

Whether you are one who is swept up in the current or one who goes pedal-to-the metal (saving the mixed metaphors here!), you are missing opportunities, if you don’t slow it down a bit and experience what might be going on around you.

One of the greatest challenges I face in my pursuit of well-centered fitness is making time for a productive pause, midday.  I can easily be caught up in unproductive distractions—Facebook, e-mail, etc.—i.e., I can get sucked into the current.  I need to hit a “pause” button and refocus.

The idea of a productive pause is nothing new.  I first heard the phrase from Jim Harshaw (“Success Through Failure” podcast) and have seen similar ideas presented elsewhere.  For many of us, we might have a more natural inclination to hit the pause button when we get to moving too fast.  Others of us might just keep charging forward. 

There are numerous reasons why one might want—or need—to take a regular cycle of pause during the day (e.g., the basic rest-activity cycle), and getting some movement or changing activities ever 90-minutes or so can be warranted to maintain alertness, but the idea of a productive pause has further implications for one’s effectiveness.

Jim Harshaw considers the productive pause an opportunity to regain focus and clarity.  Certainly, this is can done with the morning routine (and can be followed by a pause prior to going to bed to sleep), but I find midday to be another important—and most difficult time—to hit the pause button.  Midday is a time when a multitude of forces are acting on us to throw us off course—to distract and discourage us.  Midday is an excellent time for a brief (15-minute or so) reset.

As difficult as it can be, I try to schedule a break in the day when I can have 15 minutes of undisturbed quiet time to close my eyes and meditate and prayerfully reflect on the day.  Sometimes, it is helpful to just sit and listen for inspiration.

We are always rushing, and technology has allowed us to fill our down time with “stuff”.  Dr. Bridgett Ross refers to “vanishing pause time” (http://rosspsychology.com/blog/vanishing-pause-time).  This is the notion “that with the immense time-saving benefits of technology also comes the loss of time to reflect, relax, breath, collect oneself…pause.”  I see it with my students.  If I give them a break during class, they immediately pull out the phones rather than talk or simply consider what we have just discussed.  Most of us are no different.  We frequently check our social media, e-mail, test messages, etc.

The “productive pause”, I suggest, is a time to turn devices off and let our minds go to a deeper place—a place where we can be inspired and recharged.  I like to think of it as listening for the voice of God for inspiration.  It is not a time to let one’s mind race through the things one needs to do.  Rather is a time for deep breathing exercises, recitation of one’s mantras, prayer, and/or just quiet thought.  It takes effort at first.  It takes quite a bit of discipline, actually.  When I take the time, though, and can get to that place, some of my best inspiration comes.  The challenge is to make the time.

We need take heed of how we spend our down time.  Not all of it needs to be “productive”.  We need not add stress to our lives by trying to relieve stress.  Take some time to just relax, but allow for some of this to be “productive” in the sense that it contributes to your “well-centered fitness” and your growth plan.  Seek inspiration in music, podcasts, and even television, but allow yourself to indulge in some beneficial “me time”.

Carpe momento!

“To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.”—Tony Dorsett

“You cannot measure a man by his failures. You must know what use he makes of them. What did they mean to him. What did he get out of them.”–Orison Swett Marden

Failure gets a bum rap.  Failure carries a negative connotation with most people.  In reality, though, we will ALL fail from time to time.  If you haven’t failed, you haven’t tried anything substantial.

What do you make of failure?  “Failure is always an option” (Cael Sonnen), but it is what you choose to do with failure that is most important.

We often say that no one sets out to fail, and, in the broadest sense, no one really does, but…. Why not?  Why are we afraid to fail?  Should we be afraid to fail?  Personally, think we should be in greater fear of not failing.

Wrestling season is underway.  My son has moved up to the “Elite” level of his local club team.  Until this year, he had practices twice a week, and the purpose was to emphasize the fundamentals and to develop a love of the sport.  This season, he joins the boys and girls who have been wrestling for a while and who have been competing at a much higher level.  He won’t admit it, but he is a bit intimidated.  Thankfully, he has phenomenal coaching and loves the sport.  Nonetheless, I sense his trepidation.

This will probably not be his best season of club wrestling—though, he always surprises me.  He is a tenacious kid.  He shows very little emotion, except when he gets frustrated.  So, I tell him every practice to “go into the room and fail”.

I know I am a great parent, right?

Hear me out.  I want my son to fail at this level (at least in practice).  Why?  Because, if he is failing he is giving 100%.  If he fails, it means he has challenged himself.  If he fails, now, in practice, he will have the confidence to try things when it really counts.  If he fails, now, he is learning what doesn’t work.  He is discovering his weaknesses and working on those.  If he only works to his strengths, eventually, the kid who is working on resolving his weaknesses will surpass him.  I ultimately want him to succeed when it matters—and that isn’t necessarily on the wrestling mat.

We all need to take this approach.  As the saying goes: “If you fall on your face, at least you are moving forward.”

Life is not about taking the easy path.  Life—a life that is truly lived—is about challenge and overcoming.  Life is growth!  Be your best today; be better tomorrow REQUIRES that you extend your limits.

We cannot walk or run without going outside of our base of support.  Locomotion is essentially a cycle of falling and catching one’s self.  Biomechanically, when we walk we lean forward until our center of mass falls outside of our base of support—i.e., we lose our balance and fall forward.  We catch our balance with the leading foot, and repeat.  This is progress.  This moves one forward.

So, why live life on stable footing.  As long as we stay within our comfort zone (i.e., our base of support), we don’t move.  If we don’t move, we go nowhere!

Switching sports: Michael Jordan is said to have always worked to his weaknesses in practice.  I wonder where that got him?

Thomas Edison—not a wrestler, as far as I know—famously “failed” in roughly 10,000 attempts to invent the light bulb.  Do we call him a “failure”?  We call him a genius!

If you never fail at anything, you are living a rather ordinary life.  If you dare to fail on a regular basis, I would call that (extra)ordinary.  Keep failing.  Great things are sure to come.

Carpe momento!!

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”—Thomas Edison

“Ruin is the destination toward which all men rush, each pursuing his own best interest in a society that believes in the freedom of the commons.”—Garrett Hardin

One of the most meaningful assignments I ever did in college was a paper my sophomore year or so in a Geography course that was on the “Tragedy of the Commons” by Garrett Hardin.  (I still have the paper.)  In the “Tragedy of the Commons”, Hardin focuses on sustainability, shared-resources, population growth, etc., but I have found that this one assignment has shaped my thinking in many more ways and has some role in the development of my vision of “well-centered fitness”.  Certainly, at the heart of Spiritual well-centeredness in the idea of a communal responsibility in the universe.  Of course, some of the concepts presented by Hardin are arguable, but the notion of responsibility remains, and, hence, the paper has come to mind frequently over my last 30+ years.

It came to mind recently in a discussion about higher education.  In my opinion, we educators tend to give lip service to the notion of “liberal studies” and preparation for public life beyond career preparation.  There is a tendency to speak of a broad educational experience until we are asked to let go of control of our own courses and curriculum.  This is a much deeper argument than I intend to make here, but it sparked my thinking about Spiritual well-centeredness (or lack thereof) and trends in our society.

The great divisions that we are seeing socially and politically are a battle for control of the “Commons”.  It is anything but Spiritual.  These divisions are far from “well”.  There is sense of “us against them” and an unwillingness to share and cooperate.  Frankly, I thought we were taught about sharing in Kindergarden.

The “Commons” and Spiritual well-centered fitness are not about compromising one’s values.  Rather these are about respect and responsibility toward others.  Respect of others seems to be of limited supply in society.  Neither you nor I or any of our collective group is the center of the Universe.  Thus, we are not the lords of the commons.  (The very notion of a commons would dictate as much.)

Our role in the Commons is to sustain the Commons.  We need to recognize that others can contribute in ways we cannot and that our differences are not resolved by attacking the opposition, but by, as Stephen Covey wrote, “seeking first to understand and then to be understood.”  We cannot do this if we don’t begin from a place of respect.

Division is fueled by division.  To become “well-centered”, we have to begin by understanding that we are not at the “center”.  We must recognize that we are interdependent and that society loses when we take the divide-and-conquer approach.

You believe your position to be correct?  Prove it to be so by your actions.  Don’t try to force it upon others.

I have grown to view wellness as a pyramid of interdependent dimensions (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social).  I have described the base of the pyramid as being Spiritual and Physical.  The Intellectual dimension is built upon these.  Social forms the peak of the pyramid, and the Emotional dimension serves as a sort of cornerstone.  All are of equal standing, but we mature and flourish when we structure our pursuit as such.

Freedom is a funny thing.  We speak of being free, but one is never truly free when others are not likewise free.

Carpe momento!

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.”—Bob Dylan

 

“The reason I exercise is for the quality of life I enjoy.”—Kenneth Cooper

As an exercise physiologist, one might expect that I love exercising.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I like to say that my approach to exercise is much like the guy who is hitting himself in the head with a 2×4.  When asked why he does it, he responds, “Because it feels so good when I stop.”  Yep, that’s me.

I am (jokingly) distrustful of people who say they enjoy exercise.  In my opinion, they are either not working hard enough or their brain is wired wrong.

Seriously, today’s post is about just doing something to get started exercising.  We all need to be moving.  What makes physical activity (i.e., movement, in general) exercise is that there must be a level of discomfort associated with it.  Exercise, by definition, is physical activity that is performed for the purpose of improving one’s health, appearance, and/or performance.  Central to such improvement is the “overload principle”—if a body system is to adapt (i.e., improve), it has to be pushed to a level greater than that which it is accustomed.  In other words, you gotta take a few swings at your forehead.

The wonderful this about exercise is that as it becomes a habit it gets easier the more it becomes harder.  Once the practice of regular exercise takes hold of you, it is hard to not exercise than it is to exercise.  I find that I have mornings where the brain is saying “sleep”, but it the body that is saying “get your butt up and work out!”

Regular exercise has all the symptoms of a dysfunctional relationship—where one keeps coming back to the one who hurts them.  But what is unhealthy in the Social dimension is encouraged in the Physical dimension.

Exercise requires a level of discomfort.  It ought to be challenging.  If today’s workout is easy, it is time for a greater challenge.  Progressive overload.  Do a bit more every day.  You don’t have to overdo it (indeed you shouldn’t) but you must push yourself.

Our time is precious.  Why spend it in wasted exercise effort.  Be disciplined and intentional.  Know your physical fitness goals and exercise accordingly.

If you don’t know how to exercise or what you should be doing, seek the help of a qualified exercise professional.  Find a fitness trainer who is knowledgeable (fit-looking does not necessarily equate to knowledge) and who understands that exercise is individualized (i.e., be leery of trainers who train everyone the same—the “workout of the day” or WOD approach is only effective when all the individuals, such as with a “team of athletes”, have the same goals).

Within the needs of your goals, choose activities that are fun—but don’t have too much fun doing them.  Work to a “pleasant sense of fatigue” or a bit more if you have more determined performance goals.

Bottom line?  Be your best today; be better tomorrow! Carpe diem!

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”—John F. Kennedy

 

“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”—Paulo Coelho

I try to start every day by putting on a positive attitude.  Some days it just isn’t there.  I strive to be “well-centered” but….  There are some days that you just have to put on your game face and play the game.  Is this insincere?  Absolutely not.

In sports, it may be that you are nervous, but you never let it show.  You never let the opponent sense your fear or trepidation. 

In life, our game face is the attitude we want to emanate.  Remember: your attitude shapes your attitude.  So, to be confident, exude confidence.  Not feeling happy or energetic?  Smile.  Be enthusiastic.  Surely, the behavior will follow.

To be honest, it is rare that I am ever quite where I want to be emotionally.  Most mornings I have to work up positivity.  But, it is all about overcoming emotional inertia.  There are a lot of days where I start the day by going through a process of “I don’t…. I need to…. I can…. I will…. I am….”  Some days you just gotta be your own cheerleader.

My morning routine—my journaling process—is intended to prepare me for the day—to get my game face on.  I start with goals (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social).  Then, I restate my mission statement and a statement of my values.  Fairly regularly, I restate my top 5 long-term goals.  Then, I go through an exercise of identifying 5 or 6 “opportunities” for the day.  Finally, I reflect on the previous day and consider what lies ahead.

Most days, I do have to overcome some amount of emotional inertia.  Recognizing where I am struggling or experiencing frustration is the first step in putting on my “game face”.  Sometimes, I start by venting an aggravation.  As I write out my frustration, I find that my mind quickly shifts to recognizing the need to overcome this inclination.  As I continue, I soon find that the emotions flip and positivity emerges.

Initial efforts at flipping the emotions will likely seem forced.  The smile you put on may feel a bit like clown makeup.  In time, though, the flip will be real and increasingly sustainable.  Forward momentum takes over.

I am secretly jealous of people who always seem happy.  I suspect, however, that there are times when they had to put on that game face, too, but one can never know.  I long to be that “always happy” person.

There is another challenge to putting on the game face.  That is to keep it on for the people to whom we are closest—spouses, children, close friends and family.  These are the people who most often see the man behind the mask.  This should not be.  We can let the face fall for those who mean the most to us just because they are likely to be the most forgiving.

It takes energy to keep our game face on.  Sometimes, a lot of energy.  When we are with those most likely to accept us for who we are, it is easy let down our guard.  But, we must not let our momentum slow. 

I’d be lying if I said I have this down.  I am getting better with practice.  But, like well-centered fitness, it is a process.  It is a disciplined movement toward an asymptote of excellence.

Football season just finished for my son—who, by the way shows very little emotion (“game face”) on the field.  I am going to miss the team chants during the pregame and post-practice.  These boys knew how to stir up their enthusiasm and pull together as a team.  So much energy!

We can be our best cheerleaders.  It is a matter of choice.  Choose to be positive in the moment.  Determine your emotional state and be it!

Give yourself a mantra or two (or more) that serves as your personal cheer.  Give yourself a pep rally and get your game face on!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Carpe momento!

 

“Every little action creates an effect: We are all interconnected.”—Yehuda Berg

I had an interesting coincidence yesterday.  I was teaching a lesson on “Marketing Your Program” to my Exercise Motivation & Adherence class.  I related a story about my first encounter with my son’s now wrestling coach.  At the time, I owned a sports performance training center and my manager approached the coach to invite him to check us out.  Without going into great detail, the coach changed his decision to visit after seeing what he perceived as an inconsistency between what he was told about what we offered and what he saw on the website.  Fortunately, I had already reached out to a collegiate coach in the area who, with his brother, had trained on the system when members of the USA national team and could support our claims.  To make a long story short, after confirming this, a lasting relationship with the coach—both coaches, actually emerged.  In fact, both became very loyal supporters of my business.  I emphasized to the students that “it (marketing your business and services) is all about relationships.”

There is not much exciting about the above story—especially with such scant details—but later yesterday, after my son’s wrestling practice, this coach addressed the wrestlers with the same message: “it is all about relationships.”  I couldn’t help but smile as I listened.

This is coaching, to me.  I appreciated the message to my son and his teammates.  Indeed, it is all about relationships.  Life is all about relationships.

I asked my students if they were aware of the Kevin Bacon game—where one can connect any actor to Kevin Bacon in less than six steps.  (Surprisingly, they were not aware of the game!)  So, we played.  A student selected Ben Affleck.  Easy!  Ben Affleck starred in Changing Lanes.  Kevin Bacon appeared in In the Cut.  My dad appeared as an extra in both movies.  Bam!  (Of course, I am sure there are several other paths from Ben Affleck to Kevin Bacon, but I was able to nail this on the spot and off the top of my head.  (I was quite proud of myself.)

Of course, there is also the concept of six-degrees of separation.  I have a picture of my sister with the Clintons at Bill Clinton’s inauguration.  (My sister was a delegate and was appointed to the Small Business Administration.)  This is my avenue to quite a few people globally.

These games are fun to think about, but they also underscore our interconnectedness.  I can’t help but think of the effect of even the most chance and minor interaction.

While we can’t really connect all the dots, per se, I liken our connectedness to the “butterfly effect”—where one action can have a compounding effect on other events.  No, certainly, one cannot suggest that one minor event can be so linked to one other distant event, but it is reasonable to me that our actions can have a rippling effect that, in turn, is acted upon by other seemingly insignificant events.  This is why, personally, I have no desire to go back in time to change even one event in my life.  I can have no idea how changing one regret might impact where I and anyone else are in this world.  We are, thus, connected in ways we cannot imagine.

It truly is all about relationships.  Our lives do not exist in a vacuum.  We cannot act without affecting someone.  So, we must consider our choices.

We must appreciate one another.  We must understand that it is all about relationships and decide to make our connections a priority.

How do we treat those moments when someone comes to mind seemingly out of the blue?  Sometimes it is a person about whom we have had little thought for years.  I would contend the this is a call to reach out to this person—for whatever reason always seems to reveal itself.  This is a notion presented in James Renfield’s novel, The Celestine Prophecy.  The idea of synchronicity—that coincidences have personal meaning—has long intrigued me.  Fact or fiction, it is a useful way to look at the interactions among the components of the well-centered fitness model and among the people who surround us.  It certainly does not hurt us to be attuned to our connectedness.

I find it no small coincidence that my lesson in Exercise Motivation & Adherence was mirrored in my son’s wrestling practice by the very person I exemplified in the story.  Life and relationships are awesome that way.

Trust that you are where you are, when you are, and with whom you are for purposes beyond one’s current understanding.  Carpe momento!  Remember: It is all about relationships.

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.”—Anthony J. D’Angelo

 

I am a John Denver fan.  (Of course I am.  I am a West Virginia University graduate.)  I love the lyric: “Some days are diamonds. Some days are stone.”  This is a reality of life.  Days are gonna be hard.  Some are a good hard (diamonds).  Some are a less good hard (stones).  And maybe they are just how we perceive them—a diamond is a stone, after all.

Another way to look at this is the old Billy Joe Shaver song: “I’m just an old chunk of coal (but I’m gonna be a diamond someday)”.  It is all perspective.  It is all a matter of choice.  We can see ourselves where we are and lament, or we can see what today is going to make us.

I have discovered that I am often looking for what I want and, a such, I fail to see that God has given me what he wants—that my purpose and my opportunity are to be where I am right now.  We need to receive the moment we are in.  We need to accept where we are and know that it is going to lead us where we are supposed to be.  It may seem like we are an old chunk of coal, but let nature act on us and we’ll become a diamond.

Accept the days that are stone.  Let yourself be challenged and don’t be disheartened.  The difficult days are what strengthen us.  These are the days that help us better appreciate the diamond days.

Don’t overlook the opportunity that presents itself.  Doing as such will keep you moving in a positive direction.

Rejoice in the days that are diamonds.  Celebrate.  Be thankful. 

It is never easy to see what you will become when you see yourself as an “old chunk of coal”, but there is a process to becoming a diamond (unfortunately, geologically, diamonds do not really form from coal beds—but it makes for a great country lyric).  Likewise, there is a process to each of us becoming who we are intended to be, and, like it or not, we need to go through what we are going through to get there.

See yourself as a diamond and not just a stone.  Take advantage of the opportunity that is presenting itself (carpe momento).  Capitalize on what life brings you.  Receive the moment you are in.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”—Peter Mars

Is it just me or are everything and everyone getting labels lately.  More often than not, the labels are intended to be negative and divisive.  No need for a list, because I am sure that the reader knows at least some of the ones that might be listed.

Of what values are labels in our society other than to create an “us versus them” divide.  I’m going to be blunt, here, and say: “Get over it folks!”  We are serving no value to one another if all we do is highlight our differences.  I have seen the argument, “why do I have to try to understand them?”  Why?  Because they are your neighbor!  Community divided is not community.

I am not popular with this outlook, but I stand by my opinion that protests are nonproductive.  Yes, they allow the marginalized to “be heard”—maybe.  But, I don’t see that protests solve any problems until the parties involved take a seat together at the table.  “Community” implies communication.

I am pretty middle-of-the-road politically.  I know this because I am quite capable of “offending” both extremes.  This is a challenge for me, because, desiring to be “well-centered”, I want to be understanding and promote healthy relationships.

Where does politics and social division fit within the well-centered model?  If you look around our communities, today, there is no fit at all.  Writing this post, I am struggling to be a model of well-centeredness.  I am not sure that it will be perceived as such.  I don’t like to be called out when I fall short of my desired conduct, so I am sure there are readers who are feeling “called out.”  I want to say, though, that we should feel this discomfort from time to time.  It is healthy—if we take it to heart.

I wish I had the solutions to societies ills.  Maybe our problems stem from our decreasing sense of interdependence and our manufactured social isolation—you know, being a room full of people not talking but rather texting and tweeting someone else.  It occurred to me as I sat to write this that the handshake has gone to make way for the “fist bump”.  Maybe I am just getting old, but I miss the handshake.  There is a connection made when two people shake hands.  You can read something about the other person by the firmness of his or her grip.  There is a risk to shaking hands—did he or she wash the hands??  I am not much of a germaphobe, so it doesn’t bother me in the least.  (In making this connection, I consider also the impact of exposure on building the immune system, which, in my opinion, strengthens the analogy and underscores the importance of coming together in close community.)  There is a level of commitment in shaking hand.  For a moment, two are joined in unity.

We are never going to move together as a community if we don’t make an effort to understand one another.  We will never understand one another without open communication.

Communication is an act in two parts.  It requires speaking and listening (not simply hearing). Communication must come from a well-centered approach—with consideration of the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions.

Labels?  I started with labels.  Let’s stop labeling people the purposes of categorizing “us” and “them”.  Let’s welcome everyone to the table, leave our smart phones at the door and communicate.

Carpe momento!

“When you invest your time, you make a goal and a decision of something that you want to accomplish. Whether it’s make good grades in school, be a good athlete, be a good person, go down and do some community service and help somebody who’s in need, whatever it is you choose to do, you’re investing your time in that.”–Nick Saban

On payday, what is the first thing you do?  I suspect, if you are a responsible person, you pay your bills, perhaps set a tithe or offering aside for your church, and set some aside for savings and investment.  Every morning, you wake up to a payday of time.  Most of us have 16-18 hours to spend.  How do you manage this?

Most people start the day with little to no thought about how they are going to spend it. Can you imagine spending your paycheck with the same lack of concern?  If we think of our time like money, we might spend it differently.  Our time falls under the principle of “opportunity cost”—just like our financial plan (assuming one has a plan), we need a plan for our time.

Herein, lies the need for a morning routine and growth plan.  What we decide to do with our time comes at a cost of some other use of time. Thus, we need to consider:

• What is most important?
• What is consistent with our goals?
• What is consistent with our mission and values?
• Who benefits from the time spent?
• What is the return on our “investment”?
• Does the action/activity meet the criteria of urgency, importance, and significance?

What is most important?  Certainly, there are things we cannot avoid, such as work—we gotta pay the bills!  But, beyond our scheduled work, how do we prioritize importance?  I like to begin with consideration for the five dimensions of “well-centered fitness”—Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social.  I want to make sure that the majority of my time is spent having an affect on these.

What is consistent with our goals? Our mission and values?  Having clearly defined goals, values, and mission will further refine what is important.  For me, I begin with my values—faith, family, friends, growth, health, and impacting others.  These guide my mission and inspire my goals.  Therefore, these define how my time is prioritized.  Prayer/meditation and consideration of the opportunities that are before me, getting my mind focused and framing a positive attitude, journaling, and goal-setting are important elements of my morning routine.  Exercise is a priority.  I look forward to my daily “15-minute check-in” with my wife (which is really more like 30-45 minutes and always delays dinner, but the name is catchier).  My children’s activities are also a priority—scheduling sports, etc. get an inflexible block in the daily planner.  Reading—a minimum of 30 minutes a day—is also scheduled. These are most important.  From here, I can fill the spaces in between.

Who benefits from the time spent?  I like to live by Gale Sayers’ creed: “My Lord is first, my family is second, and I am third.”  One must take care of one’s self–ideally, for the purposes of benefiting and impacting others.  So, ultimately, is our time spent selfishly or selflessly?

What is the return on our “investment”?  This might take a bit more thought, but we must consider whether or not what we do with our time has any significant effect on our personal growth and/or the growth of others.  Social media, for example, way build our community or it might just be spent scrolling mindless memes and video.

Does the action/activity meet the criteria of urgency, importance, and significance? Rory Vaden (Procrastinate on Purpose) builds off of Stephen Covey’s two-dimensional time-management grid (importance x urgency) by adding the third dimension–significance. We have to consider how long something matters.  We also consider if something is urgent and important, can we pass it off to someone else to do.  There are other things that, while of lesser “urgency” or “importance”, we must do right away because of its significance—taking time for our children or spouse, for example.  These are the carpe momento decisions we make on a regular basis.  As often as is possible, our time decisions should be of greater significance.  These are the time investments, as the return is great—possible compounding.

They say “time is precious.”  Do we live our lives as such?

“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”—Steve Jobs

 

My friends at Wrestlelogy shared the title quote on Facebook, yesterday.  “Challenged” (i.e., inspired) by my friend and Sacred Heart University Wrestling coach, Andy Lausier, to write a blog post a day for the rest of the wrestling season, this seemed like a great place to start.

It is a common expression in sport to say “leave everything on the field” or “leave everything on the mat”.  No doubt, this is what every athlete should do.  I relate this to the parable of the talents, as well—if you hold anything back, you are letting down your team.  Every game.  Every practice.  The athlete has to “bring it”.

Why not bring this coaching philosophy to one’s daily life?  Why, if we athletes and former athletes bring it to practice and competition, can’t we “bring it” to our work and our relationships?  The meme struck a chord with me.  Maybe it is because it was shown to me by Wrestleology on the start of my son’s wrestling season and at a time when I was given my charging orders (so to speak) from a wrestling coach who demonstrates the very concept.  Whatever the reason, I am so inspired.

If I am ever “off of my game”—whether as a college professor, as a father, as a husband, as a friend, etc.—I am letting someone down.  I am not bringing my talents, and I am not leaving everything I have in this room.

Now some might say this is putting too much pressure on someone.  Dare I respond: “Suck it up, buttercup”?  ‘Cause I’ll say it to myself.  I have to stop making excuses or saving my energy.

“Leave everything you have in this room” is the very essence of carpe momento.  It is what I mean when I tell my son: “be your best today; be better tomorrow.”

When I go to bed at night, can I truly look in the mirror, as I brush my teeth and take out my contacts, and say “I gave it my all, today.”  Did I live my values and mission?  Did I give all I could in every relationship and every interaction?  This is the pursuit of a “well-centered” life—giving one’s all Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially.

Everyone who has ever seriously trained for a sport knows the satisfaction that comes from giving one’s all in preparation and/or competition.  The athlete who left everything in the room sleeps well.  Such an athlete closes his or her eyes and falls fast asleep with a “pleasant sense of fatigue”.  So should we rest long after our competitive season ends.

I challenge myself, today, (and you are free to join me) to leave everything I have in this room (whatever room that might be).  Remember: one’s attitude shapes one’s attitude.  I choose to receive every moment as an opportunity to be successful.  Whatever the outcome, it will be my best for today.

“The easiest thing to do in the world is pull the covers up over your head and go back to sleep.”—Dan Gable