Author: armstrong.wou@gmail.com

I saw a short video today about a trend started by a bar in St. Petersburg, FL.  A sign in the ladies’ room instructs women who are on a bad date or feeling unsafe to order an “Angel shot”.  Doing so, the bartender will escort you to your car.  Order it on ice, the bartender will call a taxi or Uber.  Order it with a lime, and the bartender will call the police.  Now, I believe the bar owner has good intentions.  I don’t mean to minimize this, at all.  In fact, I commend the bar owner for caring.  I do struggle with the concept, though, much like I struggle with the trend of wearing a safety pin to indicate that you are “safe with me”.  (Again, a well meaning effort.)  The problem with these are that they carry little weight, and, personally, I don’t think they are effective or necessary.

First, the drink order seems a bit complicated to remember.  What every happened to just asking the bartender for “help”?  I presume it is to prevent the problem from escalating?  But, would that not be the case as soon as the bartender begins to escort the woman out of the bar?  As well, it would not be long until the sleazy date learns of the “Angel shot” and knows what it means—so, again, “help”??

Second, we need to be looking out for others, and our actions will speak of our being “safe”.  Personally, if someone is being verbally or physically attacked, one will not need to see a safety pin on my chest or order a drink to know they are safe.  I will act.  The person will know that I am a “friend” because I will get involved.

We need to stand up for others.  If someone looks like they are struggling with the person they are with, why not just walk up like you are an old friend and ask how they are?  If they need help, they will play along.  If you misread the situation, well, it might be a little embarrassing, but, in most cases, the person will respect what you were trying to do and play along anyhow.  If you look like a fool, so what?  You did the right thing.  Laugh it off.  The risk of making a fool of yourself far outweighs the risk of someone being harmed.

I am appalled by the number of videos I see of someone being bullied or assaulted and countless people are just standing around and/or filming it.  What is wrong with people??

I understand that we may feel powerless.  We may fear being harmed.  There may be serious risk of harm.  Nonetheless, we must to something.  Instead of using the camera app, use the phone for what it is intended and call 911!  If you are physically capable, step it.  I suspect the bully or jerk who assaulting a woman is not as tough as they think they are.  They might act all badass—until someone more badass steps up.  Chances are the bully is only afraid of someone who is not afraid of them.  Just do something!!!

Be aware when you are out and about.  Look for circumstances that are out of the ordinary.  If something doesn’t look quite right, step in.  An angel does not come in a shot glass or wear a safety pin.  An angel doesn’t necessarily have wings.  An angel is, however, a guardian.  An angel helps.

Don’t stand by while someone asks for an “Angel shot”.  Be that person’s angel.

Rape, abuse, bullying, etc. are all serious problems in our society, but being a bystander is far worse in my opinion.  Act as you are able.  Carpe momento!

“Remember to play after every storm and to celebrate the gift of life as we have it, or else life becomes a task, rather than a gift. We must always listen to the song in our heart, and share that song with others.”—Mattie Stepanek

Life is challenging, and it will invariably throw some storms at us.  Some minor. Some quite nasty—hurricane kinda storms.  The thing about storms is—they pass.  Yes, they may leave some destruction in their wake, but the storm always ends.  The sun comes out.  The rainbow spreads across the sky, and, for at least a brief reprieve, the storm ceases.  When the storm ends, play!

I have had enough trials and difficulties—not near the level of some of my friends, however—to take to heart Mattie Stepanek’s instruction to “play after every storm”.  It is great advice.

I am a tremendous fan of Mattie’s writing—his Heartsongs.  If you don’t know who Mattie is, he is described as a poet and peacemaker.  Mattie had rare disorder called dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy.  Sadly, he died June 22, 2004 at the age of 13.  Before he passed at such a very young age, he was a best-selling author and described by Former President Jimmy Carter as “the most extraordinary person I have ever known.”  Mattie faced more than his share of storms in life, but he knew how to play after every one.  Mattie lived the carpe momento ideal.

His words: “While we are living in the present, we must celebrate life every day, knowing that we are becoming history with every work, every action, every deed” speak to the charge to carpe momento.  I strive every day to follow this advice.  I have been shown how by friends who have lost children to cancer.

There is a benefit to storms.  Storms are cleansing.  Thunderstorms fertilize (I just learned this—that lightning produces 20% of the earth’s nitrogen each year) thus preparing the soil for growth.  Much the same in life, storms reveal character and teach us hope.  Storms suck, but they end.  For those in the midst of the storm, there may seem to be no end to the storm or reason for it.  When we find ourselves here, we need to just wait it out.

I have had numerous friends face some horrific storms in recent years.  For some the damage is severe.  I can offer no words to bring comfort to their pain.  No one can.  And to simply say “play” is shallow and ineffective.  The best any of us can do is point these friends toward the sun.

I often abbreviate Mattie’s life philosophy in saying “play after every storm”, but the important words come in what he says next.  Mattie goes on to instruct us to “celebrate the gift of life as we have it…(and) always listen to the song in our heart, and share that song with others.”  Don’t dwell on the storms.  Celebrate the times between the storms.  Accept what the storms bring us and celebrate “life as we have it.”  Life is short (shorter for some).  Our time with others is shorter still.  We can spend our time dwelling on the storm or waiting for the next storm, or we can “share the song in our heart”—and let it be a joyful song.

Grace and peace to those who are suffering.  I pray the storm will soon pass and you will have even a moment to breathe and… to play.

“If there is still time on the clock, there is still time to win”—Unknown.

I saw that a 105-year-old man recently rode 14 miles in one hour for a world record.  I have mentioned before a 94-year-old breaking the world-record with a bench press of 206 lb.  The list goes on.  And this list underscores one fact about life—victory goes to him (her) who outlasts his opponents.  This was a lesson that I also learned in my experience as a wrestler.  We can accomplish much by simply enduring.

I joke with my students that students that a goal of mine is to go back to each of my high school reunions in proportionally better shape than my peers.  My classmates make it challenging, but the law of averages are in my favor.  As I tell the students, all I have to do is maintain a reasonable level of fitness.  Over time, most will become increasing less active and, thus, in poorer condition.  I have mused that by the 50-year reunion, the women will be recalling what a great athlete I was in high school.  (I was slightly above average at best.)  These recent record-breakers give me added hope of great athletic feats when I near 100.  I just have to “maintain”.  Anything is possible!

I have seen the above quote several times.  I find it encouraging.  For those of us who might feel that our lives have been “on the successful side of mediocre”, there is always opportunity to do something more significant with our lives.  If we are not satisfied with what we have or have not accomplished, there is still “time on the clock” as long as we have the health and a pulse to do.  “It is too late” or “I am too old” are poor excuses.  History is full of people who have done significant things in the twilight of their years.  I found this nice piece about “25 People Who Did Great Things After 50” (http://www.ranker.com/list/accomplishments-after-50/matthewcoleweiss).  It is a pretty amazing list—especially considering that most of the persons listed were over 60 and many were fast approaching the century mark.

Don’t let age limit you.  If you have a goal, GO FOR IT.  Carpe momento—even if the moment come rather late in life.  Your time is not over as long as there is time on the clock.

“To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.”—Thomas Bailey Aldrich

 

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.”—Jesse Owens

There is always a challenge for a parent in knowing where to draw the line with youth sports.  We all want to see our children win, but it is more important that they learn the ancillary lessons that come with sport participation.  I am sure these differ for parents, but, for me, the important lessons are in respect, teamwork, and effort.  My son, being an 11-year-old, is at that stage in sports where I have to carefully balance being father, exercise physiologist, and sport psychologist (though I have no formal training in the former or the latter).  I can’t say I get this balance right, but I hope with experience, I am getting better.  I am learning.

This was supposed to be a tournament weekend in wrestling.  My son is struggling with confidence this season and, because of scheduling and weather, he has not yet wrestled a competitive match.  The options this week were a highly competitive open qualifier or a more evenly matched league jamboree.  We opted for the league tournament (I wanted to give him a greater chance for success and a boost in confidence), but, as I am finding increasingly common in Portland, Oregon, the schools cancelled all extracurricular activities because of predicted winter weather, and the tournament was cancelled.  My son remained apprehensive about the qualifier and chose not to participate.  This opened a door to discussing his “why”—why he is wrestling if he doesn’t want to compete?  We had a good father-son chat.  I hope he has come a bit closer to find his “why”.

I was disappointed that he didn’t wrestle.  I love watching him wrestle.  I was not disappointed with him.  I was concerned, however.

We talked about winning and losing.  I stressed to him that in wrestling—and any sport—there are “only winners and learners”.  (He’s heard this before.)  In choosing not to participate, however, he neither won nor learned, so he lost.  We gain absolutely nothing in not trying.  When we don’t try, we lose the opportunity to win or learn.  We lose.

We talked about for whom he is wrestling.  There was some hesitation here.  I made it clear that he should not be wrestling, playing any sport, or doing anything for me.  He does whatever he does for himself first.  He wins for himself—not me.  Secondly, he wrestles for his teammates and coaches.  No one else.

We talked about effort.  He has heard be your best today; be better tomorrow more than a few times from me.  We discussed that you cannot be better tomorrow without being your best today.  We can’t be our best today, if we don’t give a 100% effort.  Without 100% effort, we also let down our teammates and coaches.  Without our best effort, our teammates don’t get better either.

It is challenging to process these things in an 11-year-old mind, but, hopefully, it is beginning to make sense for him.  As adults, it should be clear.  We need to have a purpose to the things we do.  Sometimes, our purpose is necessity—paying the bills, providing for our family, keeping our job, etc.  Other times, our purpose is pleasure—because we enjoy what we are doing.  Whatever the purpose, we need to understand our “why” and proceed accordingly.  If there is no reasonable “why”, then the principle of “opportunity cost” might suggest we quit and divert our energies to something more in line with our goals, mission, and values.

As adults, the lessons we learned in sports apply to our life beyond sports.  Our desire to “win”—be successful—is, first, personal and, second, for our team.  We should never do anything for the purpose of pleasing others (as a priority).  Certainly, if we do our absolute best at whatever our hands find to do, we will benefit our team and please others (i.e., family).  You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.  Anyone who is not pleased with your best effort isn’t on your team.  If you do the best you are capable of doing, you will please those who support you.  Otherwise, don’t worry about it.

Know your “why”.  Give 100% one-hundred percent of the time.  Be your best today, and you will be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”—Vince Lombardi

I had a fun exchange with some friends on Facebook about a brain-teaser shared by one.  It was challenging enough without a less-than-obvious twist.  The precise problem is not as important as what it initiated.  For me, it was fun on two levels.  For one, I like the challenge.  I like to work my brain.  For another, it initiated some social interaction.  I trust it was good for all who participated.  I enjoyed it.

This reminds me just how important it is for us to challenge our minds on a regular basis.  This particular challenge required us to look at the problem carefully and see what was there—not what we thought was there.  Then we had to draw on basic principles that most all of us learned more than 35 years ago.  In addition, it brought back memories.  I recalled one of my favorite high school teachers, Mr. Ian Smith (my Physics and Geology teacher).  These prompted others to remember teachers and classes.  On top of this, it prompted conversation, which, likewise, stimulated brain activity.  It was a simple, healthy exercising of our brains.

We need this kind of exercise on a regular basis.  We need to “overload” the brain regularly—“overload” as in the kind needed to stimulate adaptation (not to be confused with “overwhelm”).

There are numerous ways to “overload” the brain.  The following is a mere partial list:

1. play trivia games;
2. do jigsaw puzzles;
3. play brain games;
4. play games of strategy;
5. do math problems;
6. learn a new language;
7. learn a musical instrument;
8. write poetry (or just write);
9. read (preferably often and in a variety of topics);
10. seek out engaging conversation;
11. take an academic class (there are increasing opportunities for free online courses);
12. take an art class;

etc.

Intellectual challenge is an important component of “well-centered” fitness.  It should not be neglected.  Education does not begin and end in the classroom.  Knowledge is not merely acquired or received.  Knowledge must be sought and exercised.  Our brains are awesome organs.  We should use them.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.”—Dr. Suess

 

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”–Jimmy Dean

I have been thinking about change recently.  More specifically, how we face and accept change.

Our children’s school district is preparing to redistrict schools.  Currently, there are two high schools (both among the best in the state), three middle schools, and a number of primary schools.  A new middle school opens in the fall—and apparently, there is discussion of a new high school.  Having children in 6^th and 3^rd grades, we are affected.

My son, the 6^th grader, is probably to be the most affected.  Because of sports, he has friends spread around the district.  By chance, he has fewer friends in our specific neighborhood.  Thus, no matter how the boundary lines change, he will have friends going to different schools.  Until now, this was not so important as there was the expectation that they would all unite in high school and at least some have joined him at his present middle school.  No doubt, he will be facing some lasting change come the next school year.

Our daughter is less affected.  She has quite a few friends in the immediate neighborhood, who will go to school with her no matter how the boundaries change.

Because academics are likely to be comparable, however the boundaries are drawn, sports and friends are the driving factors.  Considering that my son has yet to go to school or play on a sports team with his long-time close friend, it is not probable that any change would negatively impact their friendship—other than them never going to school together (unless college?).  Sports?  Well, the current high school is pretty dominant in most sports.  There is a tremendous talent-pool.  My son has come up through the sports programs, made a lot of good friends, and had a lot of great coaches.  Despite this, perhaps breaking them up a bit can have some benefit.  Spread that talent around a bit?  True friends will remain.  Opportunity will come to more talented kids.

The trouble with change—particularly when it affects a community—is that we tend to approach it selfishly.  We want only to consider how it affects us and not see to “the big picture”.  In the case of this redistricting, it should be the families who will be affected over the long-term who need to be considered.  It should not be what is best for my children, per se.  It is what is best for all.

So, how do we approach change.  Do we think only about ourselves, or do we think about others?  Do we think only about the immediate consequences, or do we consider the long-term possibilities?  Do we see challenges or opportunities?  Key to successful adaptation to change, we need to look at the long-term opportunities for others beyond ourselves.  We have to understand that we can’t see beyond the present and trust that where we are going is where we need to be.

In the case of my current change, I am choosing to accept what is worked out by the district.  It may inconvenience my son’s friendships, but they will survive.  His sports teams may be broken up, but it might give opportunities to some who might otherwise ride the bench.  Perhaps, there will be a teacher…, a coach…, and/or a friend who will have a unique impact on my child that otherwise might not have occurred were circumstances not to change.

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  The immediate impression might be that change is not good or that change should be as we see it should be.  Nonetheless, change always comes.  We do our best to make the right decisions and consider the opportunities.  Oh, the opportunities!  We never quite know what change will bring, but look for the good it brings.

“When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time.”—Orison Swett Marden

Yesterday, I wrote about the practice of participation trophies.  Today, I want to write about another societal trend that I find a bit bothersome.  That is the current trend of ‘selfies’ and having to document everything with photographs on social media.

Nothing shouts “Look at me!  Look at me!” like selfies (for those not on social media, “selfies” are photos taken by oneself of one’s self or group of friends usually with a cell phone).  Now, perhaps it is just me or a generational thing, as “selfies” are much more a thing of the digital generation—after all, when I was a teen there was no social media, and, if you wanted to take a picture it involved film and a trip to Fotomat (unless you had a Polaroid—instant gratification!). 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do think there is value in social media and sharing our lives (with restraint) with our friends and family.  Indeed, it is nice to be able to share photos with friends and family that previously might only be seen in photo albums and vacation slide shows.  My concern is over the over-documentation of our lives—our desire to share ever moment of our lives as though everyone should think it as important as we do.

There should be a balance between sharing and being narcissistic.  I do enjoy seeing photos of friends and their families on Facebook.  After all, most of my family and friends live far away and I rarely get to see them.  (I hate that I have not seen some of my nieces’, nephews’, and cousins’ children.)  So, my point is not to discourage sharing photographs.  Please, do.  My point is to emphasize the need to focus on the people who are present.  What I see, and what sparked this bit of tirade, is the practice of taking photos and immediately posting to social media.  I was at a basketball game for my eight-year-old daughter and noticed the number of people with phones in hand throughout the game.  One’s presence is certainly diminished as soon as they pull out their dang phone.  Nothing (in my humble opinion) says “I want to be somewhere else other than here” more than a cell phone in hand.

Enjoy the moment.  Carpe momento!  Enjoy the people who are present and share the photos later.  And, maybe, take fewer photos of yourself and the group you are with and enjoy the company of your friends.  Photos are nice, but they aren’t necessarily memories.  Memories are made through the interaction with others—not through an app on a smart phone.

And if I can make just one selfish personal plea: Keep the duck lips to a minimum (wink).  You ladies have such pretty smiles.  Don’t ruin them with whatever duck lips are supposed to represent.

Keep sharing the photos of your kids, but take them more judiciously.  Don’t raise your kids to be the center of attention, but also make them the center of your attention.  In other words, put the phone away, and just spend time with them.  Make memories that can only be share through personal interaction.

“The ‘Selfie Stick’ has to top the list for what best defines narcissism in society today.”–Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe

For some time, I have been thinking about a couple societal trends.  These are the practice of participation trophies and the trend of ‘selfies’ and having to document everything with photographs on social media.

Participation trophies are certainly one of many topics that come up when anyone talks about youth sports.  There are good arguments on both sides, but, while I might not go as far as, Steeler linebacker, James Harrison’s decision to return trophies his children receive, I stand in the company of those opposed to participation trophies.  I am of the view that rewards in life are earned and that there is greater encouragement and value in not distributing trophies to everyone, simply for showing up to play.  I feel this leads to a greater sense of entitlement in education, work, and relationships.  I am fine with a participation medal—and possibly awards at the youngest levels of sport where it is participation that is being encouraged over winning (i.e., when scores and win/loss records are not considered)—but, once winners and losers are defined, it is time to dispose of participation trophies and recognize effort.  This is a harsh reality of life—that there are winners and losers.  I prefer to think of it as winners and learners, however.  Learners in that we can gain from recognizing that we need to change our effort, if we are to come out on top.

I think it important for children—and especially adults—to learn that the reward is in the performance.  Whether or not a trophy (or any reward) is awarded, the most import outcome in sport (and life) is that one played the game and gave their all.  Some days our “all” isn’t enough to win, but we learn what we need to do better or different the next time.  Participation is, in itself, the reward.

The rewards in life need to be internal rather than external.  Otherwise, we are never satisfied because there is only one champion or we are always content with mediocrity.  I prefer to encourage a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.  Yes, I know the counter-argument—“But, they are only children.”  This is true, however, it is because this is true that I don’t support participation trophies.  Let’s face it, children are inherently selfish.  It is a necessary trait for survival.  It is not a trait that is necessary—indeed, it can be argued that it is a trait that is not beneficial—to one’s place in society.  Thus, we need for children, as well as adults, to learn to be independent and contributors to society.  Youth sports can provide a microcosm of society for early civics lessons for children.  Through sports children can learn much about themselves and the role of societies (i.e., teams). 

There is no better example of “well-centered” living than athletics, where Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions come to light.  With the exception of truly individualized sports, the aspect of “team” is Spiritual—athletes are competing for something greater than self.  How much better a demonstration of this than the modern Olympic games.  While all athletes are competing individually for the gold medal, they are nonetheless representing their nation and, in reality, all of mankind in the pursuit of the Olympic dream.  Imagine “the thrill of victory” without the “agony of defeat”.  The Physical aspect of sports needs no discussion.  Intellectually, sport is all about strategy and increasingly about the science of sport.  It is psychology.  Participation trophies remove the Emotional value of sports—learning to accept victory, as well as defeat.  In any given competition, at least half of the participants experience failure.  Loss is an opportunity to accept the defeat but not losing.  Finally, “team” implies Social.  We celebrate superstars, but superstar athletes must still play with a team.  The great leaders in sports elevate the teammates rather than dominate them.

I value the lessons sports has to offer.  I value the coaches who take the time to teach these lessons to my children as a priority over winning.  Personally, I believe that the coaches who are transformational, as opposed to transactional, will ultimately put up the most Ws in the win/loss column.  I also believe that the athletes who are taught to value effort will, long-term, be most successful in life.

“A champion needs a motivation above and beyond winning.”—Pat Riley

 

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”—Benjamin Franklin

One of the great challenges with having a growth mindset is to not fall into practices that put one into cruise-control.  It is quite easy to make a habit of a morning routine, but not be progressing.  Remember the “overload” principle from exercise science—“in order for a body system to adapt, it has to be stressed to a level greater than that to which it is accustomed.”  In other words, if we truly adopt a growth mindset (kaizen), we must be constantly raising the bar.

This is easy to see at the gym—you know, the person who trains regularly doing the same exercises at the same weights week after week.  We can fall into the same trap of repetition across the dimensions of “well-centered” fitness (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social).  It is easy to do what we know to do without giving it much thought after it becomes a regular habit or routine.  It is easy to write the same goals day after day, journal without reflection or introspection, and allow other growth habits, like reading and exercise, to become mundane.

Consider your goals.  Are they progressing with regularity?  Once a certain habit is formed, are you moving on to the next? Are you continually challenging yourself?

Are your habits becoming too habitual?  In other words, are your good intentions losing their luster and effectiveness?  If so, charge ‘em up.  Doing the same ol’ same ol’ for date night?  Do something different.  (For me, I just need to get better at scheduling date nights—i.e., being the one to initiate date night.)  My wife and I have been very good about keeping up with our nightly “15-minute Check-In”, but we have to be careful that the conversation goes deeper than merely reporting on “How was your day?”  I am sure I can go on and create a lengthy list of personal growth activities that are vulnerable to becoming monotonous.  We have to keep an eye on these and keep progressive in our growth.

At the start of a new year, we are often in “resolution” mode.  Perhaps, we have set some substantial goals for the new year and have an implementation plan in place.  If so, awesome!  Be proactive, though, and have a progression plan in place.  Habits form over time—somewhere between a few weeks to a few months.  Form the habit first, then implement a progression.  Be intentional.  If you notice that you are becoming repetitive, make a small, but significant, change.  In due time, change again.

The whole point of having a growth mindset is to grow.  Be your best today; be better tomorrow is a never-ending proposition.

It may seem impossible to keep growing, but “baby steps”.  The progress may seem small, but, long-term, the change will amaze you.  Everyday we come closer to that asymptote of “well-centeredness”.  Let’s keep at it as we race through yet another year.

Carpe momento!

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”—Calvin Coolidge

Persistent.  Tenacious.  Determined.  These are words I most want to hear used in describing my children—especially as they are still at a young age. 

Talented.  Smart.  Gifted. These are great words, but without persistence and a corresponding work ethic, these and about $1.75 will get you a cup of coffee.  There are more talented and well-educated people who are simply living on the successful side of mediocre.  True some may do quite well compared to others, simply riding on their God-given talents alone, but I can certainly name a list of athletes and professionals who could have done so much more in their careers had they been willing to work harder.

I admire the person with persistence and the willingness to worker harder than the next guy to succeed.  A number of great athletes come immediately to mind: Wayne Gretzky, Larry Bird, Rocky Bleier, Dan Gable, et al.  Each was certainly talented, but their career accomplishments are underscored by the work that they put in—throughout their careers—to achieve what they did.  Similarly, I could make a list of great individuals who have accomplished more than might have been expected despite barriers of race, gender, socioeconomic status, learning disabilities, physical limitations, etc.

We have one great decision to make when confronted with obstacles in life: quit or find a way.  There are no other choices.

Napoleon Hill wrote: “The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.”  Here, he is speaking of permanent failure (i.e., resignation or “quitting”) rather than the failure that, with persistent effort, ultimately leads to success.  “Failure”—the temporary obstacles which challenge our path—is the crucible that forges one’s will and determination.  If one is unwilling to meet the challenge, one will take the easier path in life.

Teddy Roosevelt, well-known for his Roughrider attitude, once said that “It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.”  Sadly, we seem to have lost a bit of this willingness to struggle for what we want.  Maybe it is a product of society’s emphasis on instant gratification, entitlement, and participation trophies.  Maybe we as parents don’t say “no” enough.  Maybe it’s….  Whatever the source—why bother wasting time playing the blame game—we need to embrace persistence.

“Grit” is a word that is finding its way into education discussions.  I don’t know if it is a trait that can be learned.  I do believe that it can be unlearned.  I think it falls under the category of “use it or lose it.”  As parents, educators, coaches, and employers, we need to encourage persistence.  Let kids struggle.  Let your children fail.  Let them learn to overcome obstacles—to expect and, dare I say, welcome challenges (or as I prefer: “opportunities”).

Persistence must be encouraged.  It must be exercised.  Never give up.  Never say “can’t”.  Allow failure to be the stimulus for growth and personal success.  Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

“Patience and tenacity are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.”—Thomas Huxley